The Only Way You Should Make Another Date After She Cancels For BS Reasons

The only way you should make another date with a woman who cancels for BS reasons.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is new to my work. He made a few dates with a female coworker who canceled both times at the last minute after he says he over pursued. He assumed she wasn’t interested after reading my book and walked away.

Then she started reaching out and eventually asked him out. They started hooking up. A few months later she broke things off because he said he started acting like a robot and turned her off. He asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

I got an email from this particular guy who met this woman at work and they knew each other for quite some time, but they worked together in the same department. He’s like, “I don’t really want to get involved.” Meanwhile, eventually, after a year or so of working, she got moved to another department and they were no longer working together in the same team. So he thought this would be a good opportunity to ask her out. So he asked her out, but he realizes now he over-pursued and she cancelled the first date. He said a second date. Same thing. Over-pursued he she canceled canceled at the last minute for a BS reason.

What’s interesting is then he comes across my book 3% Man, which you can read for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just subscribe to the email newsletter, put your name and your email and the email sign up box and it instantly will open up. You can read a digital copy right on my website.

So what happened was now he’s got two cancel dates. You know like the late great Doc Love was like, “When a woman cancels a date. That’s it. One chance per girl per lifetime.” So this guy, he recognized, “OK. She’s just not interested. That’s why she’s canceled two dates,” so he didn’t think anything of it. Then after a few weeks go by of no contact, then she started reaching out, but she didn’t bring up getting together or going out of date. So he’s just like, “Oh, she’s not interested.” So he would humor her. He would text her back and forth a little bit, then he would say, “Hey, I got to run. Nice hearing from you.”

After about a month she asked him out. Then they started going out, they started hanging out, having fun, hooking up, but he said he didn’t really read the book. Plus, he’s a new student. He says he acted like too much of a robot, and then she just recently broke things off. So it’s a pretty interesting email just how the situation went, especially when we cancel in two dates.

I talk about this in the book, the only time you make a date with somebody after they cancel it is if they reach out to you and they bring up getting together. In this case, that’s the ultimate sign of disrespect, breaking dates at the last minute for BS reasons, you go to set a third date and she’s already blowing you off the first two times. Obviously, you don’t value or respect yourself for your time, so you can’t expect her to value or respect it. What this guy did right was after these two canceled dates and he came across my work, he’s like, “Well, I’m not going to give her a chance to waste any more of my time. She’s going to have to want it.” In other words, it has to be her idea. If it’s her idea, like I said, you’ll see that things go much better when it’s her idea and she’s pursuing you.

Viewer’s Email:

Hey Coach,

Your work is life changing. Thank you for teaching men to be authentic and true to what they want. I started reading your book on December 14th 2023, leading up to a first date with a coworker.

Oh, I thought it was after. OK, my bad.

Since December, I am now on my 5th read.

I’m a 26-year-old guy and have worked with a very attractive woman for about a year and a half. She is breathtaking to look at and is very experienced in dating. At work, she regularly talks to her girlfriends about going on Hinge dates with new guys each week. She sees so many new people, one time I overheard her saying she was drained from going on first dates.

We’ve always been flirtatious with each other in the office, but since we were on the same team, I decided not to pursue her. When she was eventually promoted to a separate team in November, I decided it was time to ask her out.

Since I didn’t find your book until a month later at this point, I over-pursued…

OK, so I guess he found the book afterwards. So countering conflicting information here, dude.

…And caused her to cancel our first date. After reaching out to her and rescheduling a few days later, she cancelled again.

Yeah, that’s where you went wrong. She cancels the date, blows you off for bullshit reasons. When that happens, if she doesn’t mention a reschedule when she cancels, then it just means she doesn’t care enough about you to see you again. Therefore, in that case, like the book says, you never call or text her again for any reason. The only way you’ll ask her out on a date is if she brings it up first.

Even if she does start reaching out to you, unless she mentions getting together or seeing you or going on a date, you just talk to her. You’ll send two or three texts back and forth, or if she calls you on the phone, you’ll talk for a few minutes and you’re like, “Hey, I got to run. I’ll talk to you later,” and then you just get off the phone.

She gave a long apology over the phone for why she couldn’t make it.

Well, as the old saying goes, “The longer the excuse, the bigger the lie.”

I didn’t get butt-hurt and kept the conversation fun and short. I figured she wasn’t interested, so I moved on.

After about two weeks of not contacting her, she began messaging me at work, on social media and texted my phone about 2-3 times per week, but she never mentioned a date. I kept the conversations short and would move on with my day.

That’s exactly what 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back says that’s what you’re supposed to do.

After a month of her constantly reaching out to me, she eventually asked ME out on a date.

Yeah, it was your inaction that was attractive to her, and after the fact that you made two dates and she cancelled, and then you never brought it up again. Even though she was reaching out to you, her attraction crept back up. She had to find out what the hell was going on. Did you meet somebody else? Were you sleep with somebody else? Did you not like her anymore?

It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. So you see how that works? He wasn’t doing anything. He would chat with her a little bit and he’d be like, “Hey, I got to run, talk to you later.” After a month and she’s like, “We should get together.”

The date went wonderfully, and she couldn’t keep herself off me. Her hand kept bumping into mine on the sidewalk, so I knew from your book she was ready to hold hands. We walked to the second place that evening, and she became very aggressive in her advances. We would make out for a moment, then keep chatting. This happened several times before eventually, I said, “Let’s get out of here and make drinks at my place.” We went to my apartment for some more drinks and kissy-poo, but we both decided to save the indoor Olympics for next time, since we both had work early the next day.

Yeah, right. We both decided. My ass, you both decided.

What happened was she told you she wanted to leave. Two steps forward, one step back. If a girl’s coming back to your house after a bunch of kissy-poo like that, sex was on the table, but this is a rookie, so he didn’t know enough what to do. So we’ll give him the mulligan on this one.

She texted me the next morning saying how much fun she had, so I set up another date.

Unfortunately, this is where things went sideways. I acted like a robot and kept things to one date per week, despite her contacting me several times per week. (Go easy on me. This was the first time applying your work)

Well, as the book states, your job is to start the courtship off and then usually after a few dates, most of the time with the average woman, you sleep with her on a second or third date, that’s when she starts calling and texting you afterwards. Once that starts happening, if she’s going to text you or call you every few days and there’s no reason for you to reach out first, it’s better if you let her reach out to you first, because she reaches out when she’s really thinking about you, and her feelings have crept up on her.

When you ask her out under those circumstances, she’s flexible, she’s submissive and she’s excited to spend time with you, which is what you want. So what happens is she starts reaching out and he’s like, “I must only do one date per week. I can’t see her any more. I’m a robot.”

Each time we got together, our chemistry was off the charts, but she eventually started jerking me around.

Because you were acting too soft.

She began rescheduling dates, and eventually texted me saying she wanted to start using condoms. (She saw the Hinge app on my phone and probably assumed I was seeing other women)

Bro it’s like, you got to be strategic, man. If you’re on dates with a girl and you’ve got notifications popping up on your screen from Hinge and other dating apps, it’s like, come on. You gotta have some common sense.

Some of you guys, your operational security with the ladies sucks. As it says in the book, gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. That’s why I never, ever talk about what’s going on in my personal life. I use examples from the past just to teach, and I talk about those same examples over and over to get the point across, but I keep my mouth shut and you guys should too. “If tribe not to know, keep mouth shut,” as the old Indian proverb goes.

Before our most recent date, she texted to reschedule because she was “double-booked.” I reached out the day before she was supposedly “double-booked” and told her I was still free if her other plans fell through…

In other words, “Oh, your Highness, I’m OK to be a backup plan. Pick me, pick me. Please choose me. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Pay attention to me. Mommy, mommy, I want a pat on the head.” That’s the vibe you’re giving off, dude.

That’s the reason why she started to lose attraction. Even though you started hooking up and sleeping together, you, quite frankly, were acting like too much of a bitch and not a leader in person. It’s just a fact of life. Don’t take it personally. This is just to help you and anybody else watching to take corrective action so you stop the unattractive behavior.

…And I would love to see her. She eventually responded and we ended up hanging out. (So she wasn’t actually double-booked)

Well, there was something potentially it would have been more fun than hanging out with you, but what you’re communicating is that you still don’t value your time.

Remember, this is a woman who blew you off and cancelled two dates, and now she’s doing it again. Every time she disrespects you, it’s like you’re getting down on your hands and knees and you’re begging her to do it again. Women will never love a man they don’t respect. If you do not value your time, nobody else will either.

At this point, she was still showing signs of high attraction on our dates (Probably around 7-8).

Yeah, probably not that high. It’s probably around a five or a six. You’re overestimating your interest.

She would complement me saying how handsome I am, she started adopting my lingo, and she would get pouty at the end of our dates, saying she doesn’t want me to leave. On Valentine’s Day, she made me a handmade card, expressing all the things she admired about me.

Well, in the moment she said that, that’s what she actually felt. As soon as you were done reading the card, poof! Whatever those feelings were, evaporated. That only applied to that day.

And the date after that, she brought me a gift. Unfortunately, I was still acting like a robot at this point.

This week, she texted saying, “I enjoyed spending time with you, but I don’t see this going anywhere and I think it’s best if we were just friends. I don’t think we are each other’s person, but you’re a gem and whoever you end up with will be a lucky gal.”

In other words, “You turn me off, you dry my pussy up. You made it like a bucket of sand. Therefore, I’m not interested in having sex with you, but when Chad Thundercock comes over and clogs up my toilet, I will happily let you come over and unclog it. That would be really nice. By the way, can you check the tire pressure in my car and the water in the battery and make sure everything’s working?”

I responded saying, “I really like you and want you, and after what we’ve experienced over the past two months, I’m not interested being just friends.” I reassured her we could remain friendly at work and I wouldn’t make things awkward. I also told her to reach out if she ever changed her mind.

She is a hardcore liberal and I am a conservative, so I think this played into the situation, but at the end of the day, I was a robot.

Yeah, women don’t dump men they’re in love with. They dump men that they’ve lost attraction and respect for. If you’re acting too soft or you’re acting like a robot, then you’re going to get dumped.

I also neglected to properly communicate with her.

Yeah, she doesn’t feel heard and understood. It’s not going to go over well.

She once made a comment after the indoor Olympics saying, “If this is all we are, that’s OK because the sex is amazing.” I ignored this instead of asking her what she meant…

I would be like, “What do you mean? Are you saying you want it to be more than just sex? But he went, “Uh, what do I do? Does not compute. 404. Page not found. Boom! What do I do? I didn’t read the book 10 to 15 times. I’m cherry picking. Does not compute.” A little extended robot for your viewing enjoyment.

…So she probably felt like I didn’t care about her emotionally.

Even though we only dated for a few months, the break up really stung because we had such intense chemistry. I decided to go no contact, but if she reaches out, I’m not sure if I will entertain a meetup. She is right about us not being compatible, and she probably did me a favor, because now I can move on and find someone who matches my values.

It’s always best, but there is the video and article I did, “My Feminist Man Hating Girlfriend,” my blue haired feminine, my green haired feminist man hating girlfriend or something along those lines. Guy was a cop, he’s a conservative Trump supporter, and she’s a far left liberal. When she started dating this guy, all of her liberal shit went out the fucking window. She grew her hair out, colored it, normally started acting like a girl because she had a man that provided a masculine container, and so she left behind her delusional leftist woke idiocy. So it is possible.

Don’t try to change or fix girls. Find somebody that does match your values. In this particular case, with the “Feminist Man Hating Girlfriend“ video that I did a couple years ago, she wasn’t really that wed to her beliefs. So take that with a grain of salt. Don’t go, “Oh, now I can change her. Coach said I can turn any woke idiot into a perfect conservative wife.” Not necessarily.

I plan to keep reading and applying your work, Coach. Thanks for giving me the resources to learn from my mistakes and become a 3% man.

You’re the man,

Bob

Well, you got some work to do, buddy. You gotta learn the book. You need some more practice. Don’t be a robot. If you knew the book better, you would understand the cues, because again, when you don’t know why you’re going, “Ah, what do I do here? Once a week date. Uh, I know she’s calling me all the time. I can’t remember what that means.” It’s not a good way to be. You just need to be all “poof!” Respond accordingly, instinctively, innately. That’s why you got to read it 10 to 15 times.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.