The Unpredictable Nature Of Women. Should I Call, Or Back Off?

How to know if you should call a girl after she backs off or if you should wait for her to reach out again.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer whose previous email I answered in my video newsletter titled, “Why You Never Say To Women, “We Need To Talk.” He was dating a girl who said he was her boyfriend and then she went cold and disappeared. She ignored his last message about setting up their next date, and then about 17 days went by and she finally reached out.

When they finally got to their destination at the lakefront hookup spot, within five minutes she unbuckled her seat belt and then hopped in his lap for a session of the indoor Olympics. A few days later she unfollowed him in Instagram and he’s upset and wonders what the hell is going on. He’s really confused now since she reached out after unfollowing him. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a guy whose previous email I answered, I think it was about a month ago, “Why You Never Say To Women, “We Need To Talk.” This is apparently the same particular girl. I guess after that email he had reached out and he was trying to set the next date, and she just completely ignored him. He’s thinking, “Well, I guess that’s the end of that.”

So 17 days go by, he’s saying he’s never going to hear from her again. Guess who calls or texts him? She did. So he ends up asking her out, they make a date and they go to their favorite lakefront hookup spot. Within five minutes of them pulling up there, she unbuckles her seat belt, hops in his lap and they burp, burp, burp by the lake. He’s thinking, “This is great.” A few days later go by, he hasn’t heard anything. Then all of a sudden, he notices she unfollowed him on Instagram and he’s like, “Well, should I call her? Should I be upset about this?”

This email really, really, really brings up a super good point, especially you guys that like to obsess over social media. I’ve had this happen many, many times. When you understand women, they really become as predictable as the sun coming up in the East and setting in the West. You can set your watch to them.

You know another thing that cracks me up about the red pill guys, they get so mad about women. Women are beautiful, when you really understand them. You just got to understand the good ones and being able to assess their character and not get too butt-hurt at how they operate or why they operate the way they do. You should be enchanted and excited about women. When you understand this stuff, it’s like the cheat code. You get to win the game all the time. It’s like, “Hello?”

Sometimes when a girl is mad, like in this case, I would say overall, from what I’ve seen, this girl is probably super insecure, probably not a good candidate to have a relationship with, because she’ll say things and then he doesn’t do things that match her ridiculous, unreasonable expectations. Then she gets mad and seeks to punish him. In other words, she’s hurting. She feels rejected. So what does she do? She unfollows him, not because she doesn’t like him, but because she’s mad. Women will do that sometimes, especially if they think you’re creeping their social media just to troll you to see how you do with it, to see if you get upset, to see if it bothers you.

Remember, you’re supposed to be calm and unperturbed and you shouldn’t be creeping on anybody’s social media. If she unfollows you, you shouldn’t even notice it. Even though she unfollowed him, he’s saying, “Well, that’s the end of that. I’ll never hear from her again.” Then guess what? She reaches out and he’s going, “What? This doesn’t make any sense, Corey. I don’t understand what’s going on here.” It happens. Girls will do that. They’ll unfollow you on all social media and you’ll think, “Well, that’s the end of that,” and you don’t even notice. You don’t say anything to them. A few weeks or a month goes by and then they reach out to you.

The reason why they’re unfollowing you is they’re trying to get you to do something. They’re trying to get you to notice. They’re trying to get you upset or perturbed because all it does is validate to them, “Oh, he does care. He is interested.” It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.

Viewer’s Email:

Hey Coach,

I’m writing you again to get your opinion on how I should handle my situation. I wrote you previously about a girl that hasn’t talked to me in a few days because I told her, “I want to talk.” She FaceTimed the day after which I didn’t answer because I was at work and texted her back a few hours later saying, “Hey I just got home from work I got your call what’s up?” I didn’t double text or reach out to her again because like you say, dating is like tennis.

17 days went by when she called me at night and asked to hang out.

Yeah, because you don’t know what’s going on in her life. You may have just met this girl. There may be an ex in the background. There may be other guys that she’s further along with in the courtship process that she really likes and is more emotionally anchored to. Things look good with them. She disappears, things look bad. Boom! She shows back up.

That’s why you never get butt-hurt. You never get upset. You’re not following her, trolling her social media. Don’t be watching her Instagram stories because she can always tell when you’re doing that. It’s just best to have complete radio silence. Let her be wondering what the hell is going on with this guy. If she unfollows you, don’t do anything, don’t retaliate. Just act like you didn’t even see it. You didn’t even notice it, because it’s just part of her game. She’s trying to figure out where she stands with you because if she unfollows you and you’re like, “Wait, why did you unfollow me?” Then she’s like, “Aha, I got him. He does care,” but she unfollows you and you don’t even notice. And she’s like, “Ah!” Then she gets resourceful. She’s got to try something else.

It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. If you say, in this case, he’s trying to set a date and 17 days go by and you don’t double text, what does that mean? You’re probably fucking somebody else because she’s talking to other people. If you’re talking to other people and a girl ignores you, then probably some other girl is who you’re spending your time with.

It’s super important to think about not getting emotional or upset or come from a place of fear or loss. You look at it and go, “Hey, we’re playing tennis. I hit the ball over the net. She stopped hitting it back. So I’m going to go play with somebody else. If I hear from her, great. If not, whatever.” I got a new tennis partner. Either way, that’s all you have to do.

She offered to come get me and she brought some “raw honey” packets which is supposed to get you in the mood.

Really? I’ve never heard that before. So honey is supposed to make you horny? For the hot beef injection? OK, she brought some honey because she wanted the hot beef injection.

She parked at a lakefront we normally go to when we hook up and no less than five minutes into it she unbuckled her seat belt and got on top of me. 

Oh, so I guess she picked him up. She wanted to pick you up because she wanted to control it. Why? Because she’s afraid you wouldn’t show up. I’d say this girl is probably super insecure, but hey, this is a cute little story. Cute little love story by the lake.

She initiated making out with me and started to go down on me, which led to her pulling me in the back seat…

So aggressive. All he did was nothing.

…And we had our most passionate rough sex yet calling me daddy, etc., LMAO.

Huh? Daddy probably ignored her a lot too. That’s why it turns her on when you don’t do anything, because daddy did the same thing. Especially girls that don’t have a good relationship with the dad, or the dad wasn’t around, wasn’t present. When you act this way, it really accentuates the sexual anticipation and really turns them on, makes them super aggressive. Most men never get to see this because they freak out. After a couple days, they start calling and texting. You let a girl like this go, and then 17 days later, she shows up, and what does she do? She grabs your ass and pulls you into the back seat and calls you daddy. Amazing how that works. Patience pays, padawans.

Afterwards she drove me back and kissed me goodnight. The following week she was calling and FaceTiming me all the time in the morning and afternoon which she never did before.

It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. You did nothing. You just let her be. You hit the ball over the net. She didn’t hit it back and you were like, “Meh. On to the next tennis player.” Then look what it did to her. It really fucking turned her on. So she tuned your ass up in the back seat of her car.

A few days later was Valentine’s Day and she called me at 3 p.m. and said “Happy Valentine’s Day!” I said it back and she invited me to come over to her house and spend the night for the first time because her parents were away for the week. I arrived at her house and she was wearing a short pink dress that looked super hot on her and she greeted me with a kiss. I got her some roses and told her, “What’s Valentine’s Day without flowers?” And she kissed me again and said, “Thank you. No guys ever gotten me flowers before like actually.”

We ended up hanging out in her room cuddling while she was playing a video game…

It’s Valentine’s Day and she looks hot and you’re playing video games? Come on, man.

…And towards the end of the night I asked her to put a show on so we could do something together. At this point she was probably tired and smiled and rolled her eyes when I asked that.

You know why she’s rolling her eyes like, “Why don’t you just get it over with and fuck me?” That’s what she’s thinking. If you hesitate, you will masturbate. It is Valentine’s Day. You literally sat in her bedroom and watched her play video games until she’s ready to pass out. This is what Quintus Curtius would call a “Dense warrior.” You got to do better, padawan. You got to pay attention.

She then went on her phone and I could tell she was slightly annoyed/ not feeling it because she had an appointment to go to at 7 the next morning.

Now she’s probably dialing up Chad Thundercock, “This guy I thought was going to go somewhere. He’s not fucking me and it’s Valentine’s Day. He’s just watching me play video games, and I got this cute hot pink skirt on. He’s not even taking it off.”

She then told me, “You didn’t plan on spending the night did you?” I had brought a change of clothes and she invited me to spend the night so I said, “Yes I did but if you got to be up early its no problem.”

I would have just said, “Yeah, you invited me to come spend a night. Why? By the way, why are you still in that pink dress? Why haven’t you taken it off yet?” That’s what I would have said, but I would have been sitting there watching her play video games online. It’s like, come on, man.

She said, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a dick, but I got to be up early, I’m sorry.”

“Chad Thunder cock is going to be here in a while, so you gotta hurry up.” She didn’t say that part, but she might as well.

I said, “It’s all good. No problem,” and she walked me to the door hugged me, and I leaned in to kiss and she kissed me goodnight. 

Here’s the kicker: Three days after that night, she unfollowed me on Instagram and I figured to myself, “Well that’s that.” Then two days after she unfollowed me, she FaceTimes me…

Her unfollowing you did not get your attention. Remember, it is a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. She unfollowed you and you didn’t even notice. You noticed, but she didn’t know you noticed. That’s the important thing.

…Wearing all my clothes that I forgot to take with me when I left. My sweatshirt, underwear, and even my socks.

Gee, I wonder why she’s wearing your clothes. Cause she wants to fuck you, that’s why.

At this point I was understandably confused…

This is so simple. It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear, and now she’s wearing your clothes going, “Hint, hint, hint.”

…So I didn’t know what to think. A few days go by and I call her asking if I left my wallet at her house because I couldn’t find it after looking all over for it…

Dude. Come on.

…And she said she couldn’t find it but she’ll look for it.

She FaceTimed you, I would be like, “Hey, those are my clothes. I’m going to come over there and get them. I’m going to take my clothes off of your body and do naughty things to you.” Or if her parents are back by then, you should have said, “I think you should come over to my house tonight and bring my clothes back with them on. I will personally take them off of you.”

Love is playful and fun, dude. It’s like she’s reaching out when she’s ready to see you and you’re like, “Oh, what do I do? Why is she calling me? I thought she didn’t want to talk to me.” Her pussy is dripping wet at this point. That’s why she’s wearing your clothes, and you didn’t like it. Just sailed over your head, bruh.

I said, “Great. Call me if you find it.” I ended up finding it in my other car, but didn’t think to tell her. She called me three hours later asking if I found it and I said yes. She said, “Why didn’t you tell me I was going crazy for the last couple hours looking all over my house for it!” I said I didn’t think it was a big deal, and honestly assumed she just wanted to see me because there was no reason for her to call a second time. I used this opportunity to set the next date…

You should have just said, “Come over.” If a girl calls you late at night and she’s wearing your clothes, the only thing you need to say is, “Come over. Get over here now. Are you leaving yet? Get your ass over here. I’ll see you in a little bit. Bye,” and then just hang up on her. Just like that.

…So I said I wanted to go snowboarding like we talked about…

See, you got to be flexible. It’s like a date. Doesn’t have to be some big event. I mean, she’s calling you in your clothes, then you are going. “How about we go snowboarding, your Highness, in a week so I can spend a lot of money on you and have an official date?” It’s not necessary.

…And asked her when she’s free. She told me she’s free any day so I told her Thursday works best for me, I’ll pick you up at 2? She said great, and I got off the phone. The day comes and she calls me twice at 11 in the morning asking me if I was ready, and I said, “I’m finishing some things up and I’ll be on my way.” An hour later I go to pick her up and she gave me some boots I could use and we went to the mountain.

During the date she kissed me multiple times, recorded a video of us, she asked for my sweatshirt, (Even though she was already wearing hers), and posted a picture of her in my hoodie on her Instagram story.

“Hey, this is my man.”

Later in the night, she leaned her head on my shoulder…

“Put your head on my shoulder.” Was that Frankie Avalon from, like the early 60s? Hey, before my time.

…On the ski lift, and kissed me at the top of the mountain.

We were tired at the end of the night and after being playful, laughing, having fun, and putting our hands on each other we decided to head home. She was too tired for sex at this point…

Come on, man. Come on, what are you thinking? Just like so many missed opportunities here, I’m getting blue balls just reading this. Come on, man, don’t give the coach blue balls with this kind of email.

…But next time I’ll make arrangements so we aren’t so tired, LOL.

You failed again, dude.

I then dropped her off and she kissed me goodbye. So coach, I was gonna wait a week to call her again but five days later she FaceTimes me and said, “What’s up?”

I would be like, “I want to see your face, besides on FaceTime. I want to see it in person. Get your cute little ass over here.”

I said I just left my brother’s and if she would like to hang out tonight. She told me she had plans that night…

I would have said, “Well, cancel them. I’m more fun than any plans you got.”

…So I said, “I want to see you. When are you free this week?” She said she doesn’t know and said her friend was calling and we got off the phone. Coach, at this point it seems like her interest clearly isn’t as high as it was before.

That’s because you hesitate and you masturbate. You take her skiing all day and then you’re too tired for sexy time.

I’m also not happy with the fact that she unfollowed me on Instagram yet still went on a date with me…

Because she’s trying to get your attention and she’s trying to see if you’re paying attention to her social media, which you didn’t give that away. So good job you’re playing poker quite well. It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.

…Kissed me, put her head on my shoulder…

“Put your head on my shoulder.” You can see a black and white video of Frankie Avalon. I think it’s Frankie Avalon singing that. One of those teen idols from the early 60s. I think it was right before the Beatles exploded.

…And wears all my clothes down to the underwear LMAO.

It’s like, this is so easy to understand and decipher. This is why I do these emails. Because you guys are like, “Coach, I must do the robot. I must go skiing all day and be so tired I can’t fucking plow her strawberry fields.”

I was going to wait a week to call her again and see if she reaches out again like she did before, but this time I was going to ask her, “Why am I going out on dates with a girl that unfollowed me on Instagram?”

Because the only reason she unfollowed you is to troll you to see if you were paying attention. As far as she knows, you didn’t even notice.

Should I bring it up like that, or just ask why she unfollowed me?

Nope.

Because it doesn’t make sense why she would unfollow me…

Because she’s trying to see if you’re paying attention.

…Especially after wishing me a happy Valentine’s Day…

Because she’s trying to get your attention.

…And inviting me over to spend the night…

Because she wants your attention.

…And then going out on a date with me, kissing me, etc…

Because she wants your attention.

…And even wearing all my clothes.

Because she wants your attention and she wants to fuck you.

That’s stuff a girlfriend would do. 

Well, hang out, have fun, hook up, and you’re like, “Hang out. Uh, do I plan a date?” Don’t be a robot.

So what should I do Coach?

Next time she reaches out, “Get your cute little ass over here. Let’s make some dinner together.” “I got plans.” “I don’t care. Making dinner with me is way more fun than anything else you got going on. Come on. The wine is chilled and ready to go, sweetheart. Get your ass over here.”

I’m unhappy about her unfollowing me on Instagram, and don’t want to continue to be a doormat…

Bruh, she’s doing everything but serving herself up on a silver platter for you.

…Thinking she can just disrespect me like that and get away with it without me standing up for myself.

Oh, man. Dude, this is so easy. It’s like playing tee ball and you just keep hitting the tee ball holder, which back in the day, the top of the tee ball was like something to use in a car radiator hose. They were all homemade back then. Thanks for the childhood memory. Just popped back in my mind.

How should I bring it up?

You don’t. Who cares? You didn’t even notice. As a man, you shouldn’t even be on social media anyways. It’s like I said, you shouldn’t be paying attention to it. You shouldn’t notice these things if you have lots of fans and one of them unfollows you, it’s like you don’t even notice.

And should I call her to ask her out and bring it up then, or wait to hear from her first and bring it up then?

Well, you tried to set a date and she’s like, “Oh, I’m busy.” So I’m sure she’ll be in touch. Next time she’s in touch, just tell her to come over, make a date. If a woman texts you or calls you after 10:00 at night, just say, “Come over.” They’re down to fuck. That’s it. “Come over.” You don’t need to go, “I’m gonna plan a date four days in advance. I will pick you up at 7 p.m. and we will have an official date.” No. “Come over.”

Because I feel disrespected and don’t want her interest to continue to drop…

Well, it’s the only way it would be dropping, is because you’re not doing anything. She reaches out and then you don’t set a date. It’s like you’re trying to figure out what the hell’s going on instead of, “Hey, she’s wearing my clothes. It’s just for the hell of it. Girls just throw your clothes on for the hell of it, because she had nothing else to wear.” She put your clothes on. That’s what it was.

…Because of me being weak and not saying anything about it.

It has nothing to do with that, dude. It’s ridiculous.

I need to stand up for myself and take my power back, because I feel like she thinks she has me wrapped around her finger.

Thank you so much coach, love you and everything you do!

Bob

No, you’re frustrating the hell out of her because you’re not beating up her pelvis and you’re like a dog chasing its tail, and you’re like, “What do I do?”

Again, next time she reaches out, assumes she’s down to fuck and just arrange the next opportunity for sex to happen. That’s all it is. You don’t have to spend money on her. You don’t have to go anywhere. Just invite her over, hang out, have fun and hook up. This is so easy, dude. The girl is, like, practically sitting there on the floor with her legs spread and nothing on going, “Hey, have sex with me,” and you’re going, “I’ll take you out on a date next week, and then we’ll have sexy time.”

Come on, dude. This is so easy. It’s so easy. Just swing the bat. If you hesitate, you will masturbate, so knock it off.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page of my website, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.