Tinder, Match & Online Dating

Mar 11, 2016 by Coach Corey Wayne
iStock.com/Zerbor
iStock.com/Zerbor

Some simple principles you can use to improve your online dating success with dating apps such as Tinder, Match.com, etc.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a guy who is struggling with his online dating attempts. He has modeled his online dating profile based upon what I teach in my article, “How To Create The Ultimate Online Dating Profile” which is getting a lot of attention and interest from women. However, when it comes to Tinder and making dates, or contacting women first to set dates, he’s not getting any results. I tell him how to tweak his approach so women respond to him and go on dates, instead of ignoring him.

The second email is a success story from a guy who shares how applying the principles I teach in my book and videos have dramatically improved his success with women he really likes. He has done well with online dating in the past, but every time he started dating a woman he really liked, he would get rejected. He shares how he is currently succeeding with a woman he really likes whom he met online, and what he has done and said differently that has made all the difference for him. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails.

First Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

iStock.com/m-gucci
iStock.com/m-gucci

I’m a 23-year old male who discovered your work a month ago. I have read your book 3 times so far, (That’s good dude. The people who always have the best success stories are the people who have read my book a minimum of ten times. The reason you read it ten times is, you really get the principles ingrained in you, so you don’t have to think about it), listen to your videos for 3+ hours a day, take notes on everything and do the eye contact and socialization drills you have described. (You’re totally immersing yourself. The more you can do that, the quicker you’re going to get it and get the results you want.) I now have a life mission, friends, self-esteem and several online dating accounts modeled after your “Ultimate Online Dating Profile” that are now getting tons of attention from women I never thought I would have a chance with. I truly cannot thank you enough Corey. (From my experience, Match.com only lets you email people who are paying. I don’t recommend sending out emails, as many women get bombarded by emails. If you do what I teach in my article, “How To Create The Ultimate Online Dating Profile,” women will contact you.) Thanks to your book and videos, I now have a solid grasp of the process involved in courting a woman. Hang out, have fun, hook-up and leave the relationship and bonding up to her. I also understand to lead the dialogue by asking the questions and only setting up one date per week.

iStock.com/Martin Dimitrov
iStock.com/Martin Dimitrov

However, where I struggle very badly is the initial pickup phase before the 3 H’s. I’ve always been very good at holding conversations, but not good at starting them with either genders. (If you’re somebody who has a hard time interacting with other people, go get a part time job somewhere where you can interact with other people more, so you can develop your people skills.) I don’t approach often in person, but online I send a to-the-point message to the girls who have “liked” my profile by saying something like, “Hi, I’m XXX. You look absolutely gorgeous and I like the XXXX you have going on in your profile. I would love to take you on a date. When are you free?” (This is fine in person, but you can’t do this online dude. You need to send them your number and then chat on the phone first before meeting up with someone.) This never works. I was having more luck when I was bantering with them before hand. (Send them your number. Half of them will call you. Talk on the phone and see how the conversation goes. If the conversation is compelling, exciting, and the girl’s talkative and outgoing, you should ask her to meet up.) For now, I have some time to burn, so I wouldn’t mind having a short online banter before I go in for the set-up.

iStock.com/BraunS
iStock.com/BraunS

What I would like from you is comprehensive walk through on the best ways to pick up women in person that I meet through online dating and Tinder. (If you’re going out on a first date and things go well, take her to two or three other places. It will give her the experience of going on two or three different dates, and you have a lot of time to create rapport. Then you can progress the date to your place. You want to create an opportunity for sex to happen. I teach this progression in the book. Part of the problem is, you don’t know the fundamentals yet.) For Tinder, I specifically want to know how to banter to get laid, since this is main purpose of the app. Again, I don’t mind talking to women online as long as I have your advice. I will keep doing what I can to improve myself, but this is an area of my life I would like some additional help with.

iStock.com/Lise Gagne
iStock.com/Lise Gagne

Also, I only have one picture of myself on both my online dating and Tinder profile. Is this bad game? (You should have a couple of pictures showing you having fun and interacting with other people.) The people I hang out with don’t really take pictures and the idea of taking a selfie is very strange to me. Ideas? (Figure it out, and stop making excuses. I recommend you look at this video from businessinsider.com, “A Woman Who’s Gone On 150 Tinder Dates Reveals The Biggest Mistakes Men Make”, as it lines up with everything I talk about in my book. Talking with a woman ahead of time gives her a level of comfort. Then, you can set up a simple date that has the opportunity to turn into something more.)Again, thank you for everything,

Bob

Second Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

iStock.com/fotostorm
iStock.com/fotostorm

I’ve been watching your videos for a few months now. I started when a girl I loved a lot, and thought was my soul mate, left me. (I’d say about 90% of the people who find my work do so in the process of, or after, a breakup.) But obviously, you can’t start training for combat when the war has already started and expect to win, so I didn’t win her back.I’ve been using Tinder for two years with a lot of success, went out for a lot of dates, and slept with quite a few girls. Some I liked more than others, and some I REALLY LIKED, but with the latter, I always failed. (Typically, men will turn into Mr. Nice Guy and put the woman they like on a pedestal when they first meet her, and this turns the woman off.) I’m 29, a designer, I work out, I eat healthy, I look good, I love my job and my career, I have tons of friends and lots of hobbies. I’m in a pretty good spot. (That’s awesome. You’ve got all the things you need to be the most attractive you can be. The key is to always be that dude, and not change when you get into a relationship. Anything that takes you away from who you are is going to ruin attraction in the long run.) But I still got nervous and made mistakes when I was around girls I really liked. I was trying too much, and I was being too much of a nice guy.

So recently, I met another girl I thought was cute, smart and funny, and applied everything you teach. By the way, I bought your book, but only read a couple of pages. (Come on man. I promise you, if you don’t read the book 10-15 times, this girl will dump you. Eventually, you will go back to your old ways slowly over time.) I found your videos, and listening to you in the background while I work, much more motivational and inspiring. (That’s not enough. You still need to understand the fundamentals in the book.) You should really consider recording your book. Anyway, I applied what you teach, and everything happened as you say in your videos. I was stunned. (Your success is attainable by doing what you’re doing right now, but it’s not sustainable without reading my book 10-15 times.) We had sex on second date, (Most women, on average, will sleep with a guy by the second or third date. If you go to two or three different places on your date, it has the effect of going on two or three dates. It’s amazing the psychological effect it has), and two days later, she was asking where do I see us. (You’re obviously becoming a bit full of yourself at this point.) She brought up all the relationship talk. This was more of surprise, as she’s 20, and she said she was in quite a few open relationships, and she liked keeping things casual. (She says this because most guys probably try to lock her down to a commitment. If you do the opposite, by just trying to create a fun-filled opportunity for sex to happen, and you love in such a way that the woman feels free, you’ll be amazed with your results. It’s the exact opposite of what people think they should do. You’re the gift, and if you’re well-rounded, centered, fun to hang out with and not needy, her feelings will go through the roof.) Since then, she writes to me daily, asking how I am, sending me photos, giving me compliments, and all I had to do was the opposite of what I usually did, being extra uber nice. Now I’m confident that even if she leaves, I can do the same with any other girl. (Dude, read the book 10-15 times. I’m happy for you, but you have to learn the fundamentals. There are no shortcuts to success.)

For all of that, Thanks.

Bob

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“Success is a process of eliminating what does not work, learning what does work and improving what is already working to work even better. All human beings will get better at anything with time and repetition. We all must spend our lives doing something and becoming good at it, in order to survive and prosper. In order to become really great and successful at anything, you must choose to focus on becoming great at something you love. When you love, value and aspire to something, you will work a thousand times harder to master it versus something you are simply doing to earn a paycheck. It makes absolutely no sense to waste your life focusing on earning a living at anything that does not inspire or move you emotionally, unless your goal is to simply be mediocre. Even if you are currently working at something you do not love, so you can earn a living and pay your bills, in order to reach your full potential, you must find time to focus on and move towards your passions.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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Published on March 11, 2016

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. The profile you give in “ultimate dating profile”, coach, is made for online dating websites like Match or POF. As far as Tinder goes, the character limit is very small, and its heavily picture based so fewer women even read the profile section. I use a related app called bumble where the character limit is even smaller (300 characters) and most people I come accross just have one sentence.

    My question is, do you coach, or anyone else, have advice of which bits of the longer profile you created in “ultimate dating profile” to include in this shortened version. Should it be “I am looking for a woman who likes x y and z”
    Thanks.

  2. I got a bite on Match. She’s beautiful and seems like my type! I hope I like her. Question though, I gave her my number and asked her to get ahold of me sometime. She messaged me back her number on match instead of texting or calling my phone. Should I call and set a date or wait a few days or still wait and see if she reaches out on my phone?

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