The proper way to walk away from a woman after a breakup so she starts chasing & wanting you back again. When a woman you are dating decides to unilaterally change the terms of your relationship by either breaking up with you or telling you she only wants to be friends from now on, the only way to get her back is to communicate you’re not interested in the new terms she’s offering, tell her to call you if she changes her mind and walk away and never look back. It’s simply standing up for yourself and what you want. To stick around while putting up with relationship terms that are not to your liking in the hopes that she will change her mind, is weak and non-manly behavior. Men who put up with these situations have become submissive to the woman, and therefore, since they act like a woman, they will only be considered a male girlfriend. The following is an e-mail from a reader who used my advice for getting an ex back by stating what he wanted, but not backing it up with actions. Men in these situations think that by just throwing words at a woman will get her to do what they want. This never will work because their words and actions are not congruent. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
First off, thanks for the brilliant advice. (It only will help you if you actually follow it instead of cherry picking parts, or things to say, but not altering your approach in any way overall.) To cut a long story short, this is my attempt at rekindling a romance that I royally fucked up because of ignorance. Please let me know what you make of her responses. The day after these messages, we spoke for five hours on skype. (What? The phone/skype/email/texting/messaging/etc. is for setting appointments, not spending 5 hours chatting, but spending no time together physically.) Silly I know, I’m better now. (You may feel better, but you’ve done nothing to help your case by chatting for five hours on skype. You’re cherry picking my advice; this leads to failure.) I haven’t contacted her for 5 days and when I do it will be to set up a definite date. (When you walk away from a woman who breaks up with you and puts you in friends zone, you don’t continue to call and pursue her!!!! Duh!!! You’re saying you’re walking away because you don’t like the new terms she is offering for your relationship, but then you continue to chase her like nothing has happened. That makes you look weak and incongruent with your words. You’ll still get rejected as your approach has not changed at all. Women are attracted to men who say what they mean, and mean what they say.)
Me: “Look, I adore you and I’m really sorry for all the hurt and what I did to you, but if you’re not willing to work this out, there really is nothing to talk about. You know I love you. Let me know if you change your mind, but unless you want to pick up where we left off, I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I want to move on with my life. I’m not interested in being your friend. I’m interested in being your lover. As I said, let me know if you change your mind. This just doesn’t work for me. I’m out of here. I’m not into all this. It just does NOT work for me.” (You’re being redundant. This strategy to get an ex back is something you say, and then do. It is a statement of your purpose, that must be followed up with actions that are congruent with your words. Not something you say and it magically goes back to the way you want it. You don’t just throw words around and expect her panties to come off!!!)
Her: “It’s good to know that you at least recognize that you hurt me. Where we left off… you mean the situation where we would still be “sexbuddies” with the condition that we wouldn’t have to know each others lives, this way you would be my lover? or the situation where you treated me like a “dumbass” and then came running saying sorry because you forgot to put a smile at the end:O for example? (This tells me you have acted like a needy little jackass who has constantly chased and therefore turned her off.) Because if it is to go back to that, I rather prefer to stay the way we are now. I am really tired of you expecting me to forgive every single little “crisis” of yours, and then trying to excuse yourself some way!” (Translation: “I’m tired of you acting like a needy insecure jackass. I don’t think you mean what you say. Therefore, let’s just stay friends. Women bluff to test your strength. She bluffed, and you caved by blowing up her skype for five hours.”)
Me: “Wow, thanks for noticing, pointing out and reminding me bout all my bad points, I love you too :-)”
Her: “You’re lucky that I spoke in general, cause had I referred to all the bad points I’d never leave here :-)” (You should not contact her at all. Wait to hear from her then set up a definite date when she does call. If you’re too weak to do that, you will never get out of friends zone. You need to read my book ASAP and grow a set of balls. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it.” ~ Michael Yon