Why a man’s inaction is extremely attractive to women when he’s turned them off previously.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story in process with a guy who chased his ex out of his life to the point that she blocked him everywhere. Now she is back, chasing him and they have a dinner date set up for this weekend at his house to hangout, have fun and hook up. He shares how he slowly attracted his ex back through inaction and going slightly slower than she is. This has driven her attraction and anticipation through the roof. It’s a good email on mastering the art of inaction when trying to re-attract a woman you may have turned off or chased away in the past. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be Why A Man’s Inaction Is Extremely Attractive To Women.
Especially if you’re trying to attract them after you’ve done things that turn them off and screw things up. It really helps to build anticipation when you don’t do anything. In other words, when you’re unperturbed, when you don’t react, like in this case, this guy turned off his ex to the point where she blocked him everywhere. And so, it’s been several months since I guess the last time, he reached out to her; he said he’s been following me for about four months now. So, he was like blocked everywhere. So, he literally chased this girl out of his life. And then he finally backed off, got some sense about himself, read 3%, Man. And the most important thing is he didn’t just read it, he’s been out there applying it.
So, what’s happening is his skills are getting better, his game is getting tighter. And this is super important for you guys that are trying to attract women is that in some cases it might be several months before you hear back from a girl that you screwed up with, if at all. And if she does come back, what you want is her to find a more mysterious, more masculine, more attractive and fitter version of you who’s more cocky, and he’s got a little more swagger, and doesn’t take himself too seriously, and cracks humorous jokes. Not that he laughs at his jokes, but he says things that are funny. And when everybody laughs, he just smirks because he knows it’s funny.
So, this would be a great email for you guys to learn. Like the art of indifference, the art of backing off, and inaction. And so, the inaction part is she starts because what I talk about in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back is say you’re in the situation where you’ve been blocked in like this guy was blocked on Instagram, you’re blocked everywhere, Social media, everything. And then all of a sudden what you start to see is your ex is watching your Instagram stories. You’re like, “Oh, that’s interesting. I’m obviously I’m blocked.”
And so, you do nothing about that because what happens is women come back and it’s like a little girl running up to the water or the ocean, putting her toe in the water. And then a big wave comes and then she runs back up shore. So, it’s kind of like that when they test the waters to see if you’re mad, if you’re upset, if you react. And so, in this case, just imagine what typically happens in these cases.
And I talk about this in the article on video 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back is that, they start watching your stories and then they start liking your posts, and then when you do nothing because again, you show inaction, then they start commenting on your posts. And then, instead of engaging them in conversation in public, you just heart their message, because it gives them nothing. It shows you’re being nice. But you’re not doing anything, you’re not pursuing.
Remember, you literally chased her out of your life to the point where she blocked you everywhere. And now she’s commenting on your social media and you’re just liking her posts. And so, what happens is then she’s got to take even more risk. And then that’s typically when you get a direct message, or you get a text, or WhatsApp message.
So, things slowly escalate the more you show inaction. And because I talk about this in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back if she if she likes one of your posts you, don’t write her a message. It’s like you do nothing. And so, the fact that you’re doing nothing, the inaction. So, with this in mind, as we go through this guy’s email, you’ll see how this does a great job of piquing her interest. You’re mysterious because women are like cats. It’s like they got to figure out what’s there’s something totally different about this guy.
This guy came across my work four months ago, and I assume probably a couple of months prior, that is when this relationship ended. So, it may have ended six months ago. And so now she’s coming back. And so, we got a bit of a success story in the process.
So, he’s had some interesting developments happen, and he’s got some plans set up for this weekend and so we’ll get to it. So, it’s a good email for those of you guys that are in the same kind of situation because I got emails from him months ago and he was like, “Ahh! What I do? How do I get her back?” And now he’s been hanging out, having fun, and hooking up with different women. He’s got some other choices and some other options. The ex is slowly starting to come back and he’s just better and it’s having a great effect on her.
It’s been nearly 3 months since I reached out to you and 4 months since coming across your work. My ex blocked me on IG (the only form of contact we had) about 3 months ago. Over that last 10 weeks or so, I’ve read 3% Man every two days or so for a total of 36 times.
Damn, that’s what a serious student does, 36 times. That’s very impressive. In ten weeks. I have guys who follow me for five years like, “Yeah, I’m about to get through my first read coach. It’s hard. I’m so busy.” I mean, people are busy, but hey, it’s priorities. If getting your girl back is a priority. If getting better quality women is a priority, you’ll do something about it. And if you’re a slack ass, you’ll wait till the last minute. And then when she does reach out, you’ll start making the same mistakes all over again and turn her off for exactly the same reasons and chase her away once again.
Each time I read it, I picked up a new way of thinking or a new technique to attract or understand women. I have recommended your book to a few of my friends, but they are not taking it seriously.
This is not surprising. I tell you this is going to happen even in the book.
And still struggling with attracting women, while I’m hitting my stride.
Well, most people major in minor things and they’re like, “Oh, I don’t have the time. Yeah, I’m going to get around to that book. Yeah, Oh, next week and next month. I’ve got to fix my tennis elbow, I’ve got to sell my jet skis and ah, I got to talk to my mom first. I got to get permission from my wife. I got to ask my boss if it’s okay if I bring a book to work or whatever.” They have excuses.
At about read 10, I stopped focusing on what my ex was doing.
Again, another reason why you read it 10 to 15 times, it changes your way of thinking. And as Wayne Dyer used to say, “when you change the way, you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Instagram stalking me without reaching out.
So, notice what’s happening. Just what I was talking about at the beginning. This is what happens. She unblocked him and now she’s checking out his Instagram and he does nothing. His inaction.
And more on what I was doing, or rather not doing. I was finally fine with letting go of rekindling the relationship and walking away.
Remember, she’s got to earn another chance with you, not the other way around. She’s got to get your attention. She totally blocked you, so she’s got to be like, “Yoohoo. Hiii. Heyyy.”
I cleaned up my diet, went to the gym every morning, ran every evening, and am now in the same shape I was when I was in my early 20s (mid 30s now). I lost about 40 pounds, which made me need to upgrade my wardrobe.
Look at this. This dude is dedicated. He’s serious. This is what a serious student does. It’s like when I was younger. It’s like when I came across people like Tony Robbins. I was like, “Just tell me what I need to do. I want to be successful. Just tell me and I’ll do it.” This is what I love about coaching and working with people like this. They just handle the things.
I was looking great, but the thing that is great about your book is that it makes men change their mentality about dating and helps build confidence interacting with women.
Yeah, well, it really builds the confidence is interacting with them. And see, everything I talk about in the book show up in the real world, which when you see that shit happen, you’re like, “That is the opposite of what I’ve always been taught or seen on TV or what I felt I should be doing.” It is amazing.
This is the hard part because I had to unlearn habits I unconsciously learned over the years.
Well as Master Yoda said, “You must unlearn what you have learned.”
Your book is now a part of my routine as I play it on audible as I run and can almost recite it while I listen to it.
This is what you want. You want to be totally competent in the material to the point where you could teach a class on it. That’s what you want. Because then you can not only help yourself, but you can help everybody else out. Plus, you’ll be an expert and women will love talking to you because you can totally connect with them on a level that most guys just absolutely cannot. You’ll be able to speak their language, and it’s beautiful.
Anyway, I have been having much more success with women by applying a lot of your principles. I constantly talk to women whenever I see one I’m attracted to, and I ask them their name without volunteering mine. This is a golden technique to help gauge their attraction.
That was one of the great ones I learned from the late, great Doc Love.
I’m also much more in tune with subtle ques such as if women look at my lips when I talk and play with their hair around me, and even subtle changes in the tone of their voice when they talk with me. I have walked away from women after talking to them because I wasn’t interested, and they’ve even found me later in the store or coffee shop to try to re-attract me.
It’s pretty amazing. You start talking to a girl and then you’re like, you excuse yourself. And then she realizes she got rejected. Which a pretty girl, they’re not used to that, and they’re not going to seek you out. Or like, “What’s what happened? Do I have bad breath?”
I failed a few times among the process, but I kept with it and have attracted three amazing women who I’m dating regularly.
So, he’s got a nice little practice squad going. He’s got a rotation for himself. And this place where he’s at now, he’s 40 pounds lighter, he’s got a new wardrobe. He looks good, he’s fit, he’s running, his complete mindsets changed. So, what do you think happens when the ex reaches out? He’s a different dude. 36 times he read the book in four months. That’s probably the most I’ve ever heard anybody read my book in four months.
I don’t think I’ve ever got an email from somebody in almost 20 years I’ve been doing this like, I read 36 times in four months. So that’s pretty impressive. But that’s something that’s serious and dedicated. They got to the point where they’re like, I’m done with this shit. Just tell me what I need to do Corey, and I’ll do it. And he’s doing it and he’s getting the results. That speaks for themselves.
Your book also made me reevaluate my actions with my ex. I read through our messages back and forth to see what I did wrong with her and led her to block me. I realized I went in with the wrong mentality.
I assumed she wanted me to apologize for hurting her years ago, but that didn’t seem to be the case at all. It was clear that she was highly attracted to me when I first reached out, but as I brought up our past and over pursued her, she lost interest. I was being a beta. I simply overwhelmed her, and she went from a 7 in attraction down to I think like a 2 or 3. As I was analyzing what I did wrong, I noticed my ex was unblocking me, checking my Instagram stories, and re-blocking me.
Aha! That shows she’s preoccupied and you’re doing nothing. Your inaction is what is a turn on to her because she’s probably expecting you to start reaching back out and texting and messaging her and you do nothing. And when she starts taking more risk and putting more effort into it, you still do nothing. And then she’s going to start to wonder, “Did he find somebody else? He’s not loving anymore. Does he not miss me? Was he ever in love with me?”
I ignored her actions and kept focusing on myself. She then started following me and quickly unfollowing me, liking a post and quickly unliking the post.
Because she’s trying to get your attention. She’s trying to see, she’s like flipping the lights on and off in your house or whatever. It’s like trying to get your attention to see what you do with it.
She even Instagram called me ad quickly hung up twice.
Ah. Look at that.
Once again, I ignored those and focused on myself.
Hey, maybe it was a butt dial. Besides, if you’re getting, you know, he’s getting his balls drained by three other girls. So, he’s like, does he really care about his ex who had blocked him, who’s, you know, spazzing out on his social media? No, it’s kind of amusing. So, he’s enjoying being amused. “Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.” As Rumi said.
During this time, my confidence was growing with women and I was going on dates. I was saving a ton on money by setting up drinking dates rather than dinners.
Ha ha. For those of you guys on a budget, it’s a smart way to do it.
So I could end dates with women I wasn’t interested in for little investment.
This is a very, very, very smart approach.
Another one of your golden tips. I went on dates with 11 women before narrowing down to three women I really connect with. The focus is always on not taking myself so seriously (the hardest part for me to let go), staying in my masculine energy, having a good time, and hooking up.
Well, as I say in the book, a man’s job in the courtship is just simply to create an opportunity for sex to happen, hang out, have fun and hook up. That’s it.
Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago, my ex started to like all my Instagram posts and commented on some them. I liked the comments, but I didn’t respond because I was no longer interested in chasing someone who. didn’t recognize my value.
So that’s perfect because again, she’s just acting like a fan of a celebrity, if you will. It’s like. She’s not trying to ask me out. She’s not saying, “Hey, how you been?” It’s just. “Oh, I like that post. Oh, hey, that was such a nice picture. Whatever. I’ll like that, bleep bleep.”
She then started to message me “Hi” or “How have you been” almost daily. I simply replied, “I’m doing great, hope you are too.” When she tried to dig for more info, I told her I was busy and would get back to her when I had time. Eventually, she messaged “I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.” I replied, “Of course you have, babe.” She didn’t reply, and I went on with my business.
Keep in mind, he’s getting his balls drained by me, three other girls. So, I was like, I think it’s great that you missed me, but you blocked me. Gonna have to be more aggressive than that. Well, I mean, quite frankly, when she’s like, “Hey, how have you been?” That would have been when I would have tried to make a date. But, maybe he got to the point where she was reaching out and he tried to make dates, and she wouldn’t.
So, and he tried two times in a row, and she still wouldn’t make dates. And so, the only way you will ever bring up getting together is if she brings it up first. And so that would make sense for why she’s saying, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.” She’s not saying, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot and want to see you.” She didn’t say that. She just said, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot.” I was like, “Great.” I’m going to leave the cake in the oven, let it bake a little longer, because she needs to be more aggressive. And what this does, it induces a little bit of feeling of dread and like, “Uh oh, did he meet somebody else?” He’s not trying to get together and wonder why.
A few days later she hearted the message. She was intrigued from that point on. She was on my Instagram messaging me multiple times every day, but I was only responding from time to time. She started sending me pictures of her as she was traveling to visit family. I messaged her “I have this theory that the further you travel from me, the more you miss me.”
That’s pretty good.
She hearted the message. I replied to her messages from time to time, making sure to keep a 20:80 ratio.
Meaning he’s only replying 20% of the time and she’s doing 80% of it.
And it made her pursue me even more.
Remember, scarcity creates value, less is more. And so, she still hasn’t said anything about getting together in person that he’s mentioned in his email.
Yesterday, she told me how much she missed traveling and is already saving for her next trip. I replied, “one way for you to save money is to go on dates with me.” She hearted and replied “I thought you’d never ask. I’d love that.”
So, you notice he made her wait, really wound her up, which I mean, that takes a lot of self-control, but he’s already over it. He didn’t care one way or another. He’s getting his dick blown by three other girls. So I was like, This is why I tell you guys to get some new women in your life and read the book because you’ll be cockier, you’ll have more swagger and it’s like you’ll be you’re going to be patient enough to sit here and not try to make a date for a few days when which causes her to be more aggressive and it causes their attraction to grow.
So, when you do decide to do something, she’s like, “Yes, absolutely” and totally submits to you, that’s what you want. It’s like you see how the inaction has worked beautifully. I would have tried to make it date sooner, but quite frankly, this guy’s done great again. This is not set in stone, but it’s meant to be a guide. And so, you understand the principles.
And so, he understood the principles of what he’s trying to do here, which is to build sexual anticipation by making her wait. Because then when he finally says yes to her, she’s like, ah, she just she’s already ready. She’s ready to pop the little turkey button in the base is ready to go, “Boop.”
She told me when she’ll be back to town, and she wanted to meet up for coffee this Saturday.
Here’s what I think. A coffee? No way. 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back says: Nope. The only thing is dinner at your place in the evening to make dinner together. That’s it. Nothing else.
I messaged her, “I’m grilling steaks that night for dinner that night. You can come, but you need to show up at 7pm with a bottle of red wine.” She’ll be bringing a bottle of wine to my place this Saturday night.
Of course, because look at that. You see what he did? He just made her wait. Made her wait. He knew she was ready to see him, but he made her wait even longer and look what it did.
Thanks to your work, I’ve not only attracted my ex back into my life, I’m dating three other pretty amazing women. I’ll be dating my ex, but as your book says, she’s going to work to earn me back.
Remember, she blocked you.
Thank you so much for everything you teach. I feel very confident I’m on my way to becoming a 3% Man.
Well, Bob, thanks for the success story and congratulations And have fun this weekend playing hide the Salami.
So if you got a question or a challenge, you’d like to get my help? Or maybe Naked Twister. I’m not going to help you with Naked Twister. I’m saying maybe he can get some help from her with naked Twister. But if you need my help getting your girl to the point where she’s ready to do Naked Twister with you. And she’s vying for your time and attention, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur