Why Having The “She’ll Be Back” Mentality Makes Women Chase You

Why having the she’ll be back mentality makes women chase you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email update from a viewer who I answered 2 previous emails in newsletters. He shares a success story of how things are progressing with a girl from high school who hit him up and started hitting on and pursuing him hard. She pulled back a bit and now she’s even more into him because of his new mindset. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Why Having The “She’ll Be Back” Mentality Makes Women Chase You”.

So I got a bit of an email update and a success story. This previous viewer the guy I should say it’s written in. I’ve answered two videos for him or done two Video Newsletters based on two separate emails. And so now this is his third email. And so he writes in and he’s got a success story, apparently a girl that he went to college or high school with, he hadn’t seen or heard from in a while. After things kind of went sideways with the girl from the last couple emails, this one reached out. She started hitting on him pretty hard and uh, things started progressing and then she started backing off a little bit.

And so he shares how the “she’ll be back” mentality has really worked to help turn things around. And now she’s coming back even harder and more interested than before. And there’s a video I did, I don’t know, 2 or 3 years ago probably it’s called, “She’ll Be Back”. And it’s the kind of mentality you want to have because women are kind of like cats. They get really familiar with you and spending time with you. Or if you spend a lot of time together, you should expect a pullback, especially in the beginning, because women need time and space away from you to wonder about you, to think about you, to miss you, for their feelings, to develop and grow.

And if you spend too much time, especially if you over pursue, it gets in the way of them really deeply falling for you and emotionally bonding with you. So it’s a really good email of how to address that. When the girl who you’re dating and who has high interest, it seems like your interest kind of wanes a little bit. Because the average guy just has a really difficult time.

Viewer Email:

The “She’ll Be Back” Mentality Success.

Hey Coach,

You have responded to a couple of my emails in your videos, the most recent being, “How To Pull Back If You Smothered Her & Now She Needs Space”.

So we know he tends to smother women and over pursue and things of that nature. So there’s probably to a lesser degree, there’s a little bit of that still going on here, which might be the reason why she started to back off a little bit. But again, these are just, this is kind of the natural behavior for women. This is just the way they are. And you can’t let it bother you or unsettle you or freak you out or get perturbed by it. Because unfortunately, most guys do, as the girls have been confirmed many, many times in the podcast, in the live streams we’ve done.

After getting dumped in early September for being too needy and clingy, I hit your book hard and have since read it seven times. I was simply fed up with my own neediness, and decided to take serious action to change. Early this month, in October, as I was still licking my wounds, a woman I went to high school with randomly added me on Instagram and started aggressively hitting on me. Calling me sexy, asking about my life, etc. To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about her since then, we’re both 31 now. Although I don’t usually think in these terms, it felt like the universe was placing a golden opportunity in front of me. I asked her out on a date, and we met up a couple days later. She’s very hot, and exactly my type physically. Sweet, petite, with pretty feet.

One of those feet guys. Uh, whatever. She’s got nice feet. It’s like, I know some dudes are into that. You know, sometimes the girls get a little self-conscious if their feet show up on camera because some of the dudes in the comments get pretty excited about that. It’s like, that doesn’t do anything for me. I don’t get it. But hey, you know, to each his own. Whatever. If you’re a foot fetish person like you, do, you boo boo.

And she was super sexually forward with me on the date.

Well, what you notice about all this is women help you when they like you. It’s like the door is open and all you really got to do is walk through. But the problem is, is that most guys end up talking to women out of liking them. And then the doors start slamming in their face.

However, I could tell from her attitude and overall vibe that she’s used to pushing guys around and dealing with soft beta males who would do anything for her. We hooked up in her car after the first date, split a hotel room after our second date, she came back to my place after the third date, and then I stayed the night at her condo for our fourth date. This was all in the span of 10 days. I did very minimal texting in between dates other than setting plans when she contacted me. After leaving her place the next morning, she texted me saying how much fun she had and thanked me for such a fun evening, and I responded in kind. I didn’t hear back from her all week, which would have made me freak out before discovering your work. Instead, I waited six days and asked her on another date.

So at this point, he’s four weeks in and he’s probably gotten used to her texting and reaching out, and then all of a sudden it just stops. Now that could be because he made mistakes. It could be because she’s in a different headspace. It could be because she’s on her period. It could be for a number of reasons. That’s why I always say read the book 10 to 15 times, so you get to know it backwards and forwards so you don’t freak out and overreact and assume everything’s gone sideways on you. And if something like this happens, as the book says, you just go back to the once a week rule. You don’t you don’t hear from her for a whole week then you reach out to make the next date.

I waited six days and asked her on another date. She seemed happy to hear from me, but told me she’s busy the next few days and that she was on her period.

What did I just say about being on her period? She knew she was being a little icky. And it’s still early. Most girls, until they really get to know a guy, are not going to want to be giving out Red wing trophies, so that could be understandable. And there’s also the possibility because she just showed up out of the blue. Maybe she just had a breakup and she starts thinking who she knows that kind of thing.

I told her it was no problem, and to hit me up when she’s available to meet up, and she agreed.

Remember, I always say is that you got to give women the time and space away from you to follow through on their plans and their commitments, or to flake out and disappear forever. And so what you notice here is she’s not jumping at the chance to make a date. She’s saying she’s got to figure it out. Or in this case, when she feels a little better. Obviously, if she’s bloated and on her period, she’s probably not going to want to get together for a date.

Another whole week went by without hearing from her, but all I could hear in my head was your voice saying “She’ll be back”. I spent that time focusing on my work, working out, and talking to other women. 

Which is exactly the right response.

Sure enough.

Remember, we’re giving her the time and space to follow through on what she said or to flake out and disappear. Because sometimes women say they’re not feeling it, or they got to check their schedule, and really, they’re just buying space and then they dip and you never hear from them. But in this case, he gave her the space to either follow through on that or to dip. And instead of dipping, she followed through because she was still interested. So it’s like everything in the book is designed to create the conditions where you don’t get jerked around. You end up dating and spending your time with women that typically have their shit together and have high interest.

Sure enough, after a week, she texted me with high enthusiasm and basically demanded that I come over that night for a “night in” and I did.

Well, he was available. It’s like a date on the spot. She was ready. She was off her period. She’s feeling hot and sexy and they hadn’t seen each other in like about two weeks, and she was ready to get it on. She’s ready to get down. She’s ready to go to Pound Town.

Once I got there, we were chatting on her couch and she said she was “confused as to why I wasn’t texting her all week” and she wasn’t sure if I was even interested in her.

Remember, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. And so what did she just reveal? Well, he’s waiting for her to get back, and she’s probably backing off, going, why haven’t I heard from this guy? And so she’s thinking about him probably talking with her girlfriends or her mom about him, her coworkers. And the whole time he’s doing nothing, just focusing on his life and her interest is going up. And remember, what does she do when she reaches out. She’s basically demanded that they get together.

In the past, this would have made me get defensive and start justifying myself. Instead, I gave her a shit-eating grin and said “Oooooo you missed meeee” in a childlike teasing tone. She laughed, kissed me, and we had our best night yet.

And so her saying that she’s confused as to why he wasn’t texting all week, which she’s really saying, is I thought you don’t like me. And so what do you do with that? You don’t justify. Oh, I’m sorry. He teased her. Because what it really says is, “you really missed me.” And so he teased her on that, which is the perfect response. She liked that because he communicated. I mean, he’s there. He wanted to be with her. He’s there in person. She was afraid he didn’t like her. And of course, he reassured her, because love is playful and fun. He’s treating her like a bratty little sister. Anybody that’s had a bratty little sister or learned how to date women that way.

I mean, I learned from friends that had bratty little sisters. And these guys were all really good with women. And so that was their way of showing love; mercilessly fucking with and teasing their sister. However, this is an important point is that sometimes they go a little too far. They would say things that were mean and they could see it on her face. As soon as they saw it, they went too far. They would laugh, say they were just joking, pull her and hug her and kiss her and say, honey, I love you. I’m just fucking with you. That’s the difference. And that’s why you do it in person. Not typically over the phone because things can get misconstrued.

She laughed, kissed me, and we had our best night yet. I can really feel her opening up and being much more feminine when she’s around me. She even cooked me breakfast the next morning.

Well, that’s very nice. Maybe stuffed French toast. There was a bed and breakfast I stayed at in DC many years ago. It was like they had this stuffed French toast. It was like, oh, God, it was like fucking candy. It was so fucking good. And that’s. I don’t know why I haven’t thought about that memory in a long time, but just the making the breakfast in the morning, I thought about the stuffed French toast.

I know my journey to becoming a 3% isn’t done, and I am still continuing to read the book, but I’m simply amazed at how well the slight attitude changes you talk about in your book can completely change your results. 

Thank you, Corey. Your work is truly changing me for the better.

Well, there’s a lot of decades of experience and knowledge and coaching that go into this current version of the book. And it’s like, if you’re new and you’re going, that dude doesn’t look like he’s a guy that understands women. It’s like, why should I listen to him? Books are free to read in the Members Area of the Website. Just subscribe to the Email Newsletter. And that’s why I let people read it for free. Even if you think I’m totally full of shit. If you apply what’s in the book, you’re going to get better results than you’ve been getting on your own. And then once you see that, then go buy an audiobook or a physical paper or hardback cover of it.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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