Why Over Pursuing Leads To Her Being Too “Busy” To See You

Why you must let women come to you at their pace or they will become too busy to see you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a recent coaching client who is 37 and new to my work. He became involved with a woman who is 45 and just lost her husband through mutual friends about a year and a half ago. Things started off hot and heavy and then she started backing off and becoming too “busy” to see him. She pushed him away several times and last summer they didn’t see each other at all. He notices that she does this about every 6 months and breaks things off, only to come back again and rekindle things and few months later.

Now she has become cold and distant since the new year and he’s unsure of what it means. However, she claims that she is just too busy to see him, even showing her schedule to him with numerous appointments and obligations. He says they have never been exclusive despite all their time together. They both have children from their previous relationships and scheduling dates has always been difficult. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, Why Over Pursuing Leads To Her Being Too Busy To See You.

Well, this particular email is from a guy who’s brand new to my work, and I actually just had a phone session with him the other night. He mentioned that he had sent an email in about three weeks prior to us talking. So, I went over it; it was a good email because obviously this guy, he’s only been following me for a few weeks. I think when we did the phone session, he’d been through 3% Man, 3 or 4 times, if I’m not mistaken.

And so, he started to recognize what he’s been doing wrong. He’s 37. He’s got a couple of kids from his previous relationship. She was 45. They got introduced through some mutual friends after her husband passed away. And I think she’s got three kids, if I remember right. And so, they started dating right away. And she even told him initially that she could totally see herself falling in love with him. Things got real hot and heavy. And then about six months in, she basically told him she didn’t want to see him anymore or couldn’t.

She was too busy, you know, this kind of thing. So, she pushed him away, kind of called it off. And then a matter of a few weeks or a month or so went by, she started kind of coming back. They started hanging out together again. Things were good for about six months. And then the same thing happened all over again, which would have been last summer. So last summer, at the beginning of summer, same thing. She got cold, she got distant, told him that she didn’t want to continue seeing him. So he backed off. And then they didn’t see each other the whole summer.

And then at the end of the summer, she started getting in touch. They started hanging out. Things got kind of back together again, and then they were mostly good up until the holidays, this past Christmas, New Year’s, and then after that, she went totally cold again. He tried setting dates when she’s reached out and she won’t do it. All she does is talk about how busy she is, and the thing that he doesn’t point out in the email that I asked him a question during our phone session. One of the things I always ask, which is like, what percentage were you reaching out to her first versus her reaching out to you first? And it was he was saying it was over 70%.

And it kind of always had been that way. And there were times where he’d been doing most of the pursuing, and what I told him I was like, I was surprised that you spent that much time with her and stayed with her, because any time it’s above 50% or more, at some point, the guy always gets friend zoned. And so, when guys don’t tell me in their emails like what percentage they’re reaching out first, I can tell what’s going on just by some of the things that the women say, which is that they’re too busy. I mean, she went out of her way to, “Hey, oh, hey, look at my schedule and all these appointments.”

When she’s trying to explain to him why she’s just too busy to see him, basically. And some of the other things that she says, because all women, doesn’t matter where they are, they could be in Saudi Arabia or Kuwait or Qatar, Pakistan, the UK, New Zealand, China, Russia doesn’t matter where they are. Even though they speak different languages, women say the same thing when men make them feel the same way. And it doesn’t matter what country they’re in.

And so, when guys don’t disclose in their emails, you like in this case, don’t disclose what percentage they are reaching out first, I can tell by the things the woman is saying and doing that they’re pursuing too much. But I wanted to add that little tidbit in there that he was doing 70% or more of the pursuing most of the time they were together. And that’s why he always got a lukewarm response. I mean, they were only seeing each other 1 to 2 times a month.

And I remember at the end of it I was just like, “You’re basically a glorified booty call for her for the past year and a half. Never got serious, never got exclusive, anything like that.” And I don’t think they even ever talked about it. And so, this guy has always been over pursuing to the point where she occasionally will see him and hang out, have fun and hook up. But he mentions how because he’s got kids from a previous relationship, obviously she’s got the three kids from her, you know, she’s a widow, so she has the three children from her marriage.

And so, that was always kind of the excuse why she couldn’t get together. But attraction level cuts through everything. If she’s in love with you, she’ll make time for you. And I know when we were speaking on the phone session I was I was bringing up how it’s it’s all emotions for a woman. That’s why you see women. There’s been some famous cases the last few years. Seemingly rational, smart women that, I remember there was one case, I think this woman had, like four children, 3 or 4 kids. And the guy she was dating didn’t want to be a step dad, wasn’t interested in the children and in her mind, because she’s totally in love and obsessed with this guy.

She thought, well, if I didn’t have any kids, well, then we could be together. And so, she basically puts a rock or a brick on her gas pedal and drove her I think it was her, her minivan or whatever it was, and into a lake and drowned her children. And then was like, “Oh, I don’t know what happened to my kids.” And so, in her mind, she was hoping that she was going to be with this guy. And there was another case a few years ago this one was in New York. A married woman who was a prison guard is having sex with these two guys that are in jail for murder, basically criminals.

And they had talked about her breaking them out of jail, going to her house, killing her husband so she wouldn’t have to be with him anymore. And then they would just, she just believed they would go on the lam, and go to Mexico and live happily ever after. And what happened was instead of her showing up at, I guess, the manhole cover where they were going to pop up at, she chickened out, and instead went home, and then these guys got away. And then I think both of them ended up dying in shootouts with the police. With police and Swat, you know, a couple of weeks later, she’s in jail.

And the thing that was really pathetic about that whole story is that the husband wanted to stay with his wife. She was literally planning on having these guys kill him. And he’s like, “Oh, I would have forgive her. I want to be with her.” I was like, what an idiot. But that’s the extreme case. You think, why would two seemingly in one case, one woman kills her children in order to be with a guy and another woman?

Prison guard throws away her life, even thinks it’s a good idea to offer husband, and then run off with two guys that are in jail for murder. Like, as if you know they’re going to live happily ever after. And you think any rational person listening to that would go, that sounds nuts. That doesn’t make any sense. But it’s all about emotions and attraction. And so, like in this case, when he’s only getting together with her once or twice a month to hang out and hook up, it’s he’s just like a basically a glorified booty call because he’s pursuing so much and trying to force things so much, and he’s come off as needy and neurotic and insecure and us.

In other words, he’s assumed the woman’s role in the relationship, and that’s why it kind of never really goes anywhere. And eventually he just pursues and smothers her to the point where she just wants to push him away, doesn’t even want to see him anymore. And it just goes to show, it’s like you have to let women come to you at their pace. And so, the reason why I wanted to go through this email is that it’s a good email to kind of see what happens, and how you have to kind of back off and let the woman come to you at their pace, and do most, if not all of the calling, texting and pursuing.

Because he was always in the pursuit, she never really deeply, and emotionally bonded with him. Obviously never fell in love. In the beginning because it started out so hot and heavy. And plus she’s in grief because she lost her husband. And then things started going sideways after that. And so, we’re interest never really got back in the last year and a half they had been seeing each other. It never got back to where it was in the first month or so, which was perplexing to him. And obviously now he’s going through The Book.

He’s starting to see the error of his ways, and how the over pursuing is always kind of kept him in the weak position. In essence, he’s always like begging her to spend time with him, to give him attention, and she’s just too busy. When a woman says, “she’s busy” or “her schedules crazy” or “work is crazy,” what she’s really saying is, “I’m just not attracted to you enough, and I’m not feeling it enough to want to be with you right now or see you right now.” But women don’t want to hurt a guy’s feelings.

And plus, the reality is, if you watch some of the podcasts I’ve done with the girls is, like we did one recently. I don’t know if it’s been published yet with Caroline and some of the other girls, and we were talking about that. It’s how women can’t reject a guy right to his face, because most men, sometimes they get nasty, they get mad, they get irritated. “Who do you think you are? You think you’re better than me.” And it’s happened enough where they’ve rejected the guy in person that they’ve come. They had to change their approach.

They’ll give out their phone number when they have no intention of going out with a guy just to get rid of them. Or they’ll give out their Instagram or their Snapchat, or some other social media to try to get the guy away, to avoid rejecting them in person, because most men can’t handle it. And so, in the same case here, this is why women don’t come right out and say, “Hey, I’m not really…” In essence, “You’ve dried my pussy up drier than the Sahara Desert. That’s why I don’t want to see you. You don’t turn me on at all. I’m not attracted to you.

I don’t even feel like I want to see you or be around you.” Women are not going to say that. They’re going to say something like, “Oh, I’m busy. I can’t make it.” And the guys are thinking, “We’ve spent all this time together. All this great stuff is happened. We’ve had sex. And, oh, she’s just busy.” Well, it sounds, “Oh, she’s just busy. She’s busy. Right?” But the reality is, when a woman’s emotions are engaged, she’ll find a babysitter.

And obviously, in the extreme cases, the reason why I brought up the prison guard, and the woman that drowned her children, it’s like that makes no logical sense why a woman would do that. But when you look at the fact that these women were overwhelmed by their emotions, and that’s what drove their decisions. Then it makes sense. There’s no rational sense to it. It all has to do with emotions.

Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

I have just stumbled across your work this week and have picked up your book for the first time.  I have been made aware of many of the principles that you describe here, but honestly have been reluctant to follow them due to fear of losing the woman that I like. 

You could tell right there that first sentence or that sentence, that’s a second sentence, is that that’s where his perspective is. So he automatically presupposes that it’s not going to work out, and she’s not going to like him and he’s going to lose her. So when he comes across a book like mine, even though what he’s doing is not working, he’s already in a state of fear.

It’s hard for him to do the opposite of what he feels he should do because he’s worried about losing her. Despite the fact he, in essence, hasn’t seen her in like two months at this point. Over the last, I think he saw her in the January, if I’m not mistaken, but they didn’t hook up because it was her time of the month.

I will apologize for the length, but I feel that it’s pertinent given the length of time things have been going on (I’m sure you may think a lot of it is garbage, but here we go). I was introduced to a woman about a year and a half ago through mutual friends. I am 37 and she is eight years older than me.  She is a widow with three kids and I am divorced with two kids. Things started off hot and heavy with sex happening multiple times per week and frequent messaging. 

So right there, she met him. Really into him. She’s seeing him multiple times a week, multiple times having sex, frequently messaging him throughout the day. That’s how things normally are when a woman is extremely attracted to you. Despite the fact that that’s the way it was in the beginning, obviously most guys are just not going to make the connection that it’s their over pursuit that is caused their fear of losing the woman that it’s actually causing them to chase her out of their lives.

That’s what this guy has consistently been doing. He’s badgered and over-pursued to the point where she’s only down to see him once or twice a month because she’s busy. Well, when they first met, she was seeing him multiple times a week, and they were having sex multiple times a week. So the busy excuse, quite frankly, is bullshit, but it sounds reasonable because if she just says she’s busy, then he’s not going to give her a lot of grief about it. Just like when women give out their phone number and have no intention of going out with you because they just want to get rid of you because they want to avoid a scene.

About 1-2 months in she told me that she could see herself falling in love with me, but that she was worried about what others would think given the recent passing of her husband.  Things really didn’t end at that point, and we kept going on dates and hanging out. At about six months after hanging out (a little over a year ago), she told me that she couldn’t keep seeing me anymore. 

Yeah, when a woman says you can’t keep seeing her, she’s having so much fun that she just can’t see you anymore, no, she doesn’t want to see you anymore because she’s not feeling attracted, because you’ve over-pursued. In essence, acting too much like a woman, a woman constantly seeking a man’s attention and validation.

Women are innately driven to do this. It’s why they paint their nails. They do their hair. They spend three hours in a hair salon. They try 15 different outfits on and 20 pairs of shoes before you pick them up for your date. Everything is designed to get a man’s attention and validation to receive his presence and his strength. So when a guy behaves that way, then predictably, they’re acting like a woman, so it ruins the sexual polarity. She goes from being really strongly attracted to, in essence, having platonic friends to where she doesn’t feel like she wants to sleep with them.

It was around the holidays, and we each had our own plans with family so we spent some time apart naturally. We kept messaging here and there…

The reality is, it’s him mostly reaching out to her, but since she was replying, that’s why he phrases it that way. I talked to this guy already, so I know what he did, because I asked him some of these other questions. In his email, he didn’t mention the fact that he was pursuing her more than 70% of the time, the whole time they’ve been dating. So when he says we were messaging here and there, in reality, what it was is he was messaging her, trying to get her to go out and they would talk, but she would just be busy.

…And eventually started going out on dates again after she started hinting that she wanted to see me again.

So at some point he stopped asking, and then she started bringing it up. Like I talk about in my book, it’s where you kind of match and mirror that. In the book, if you reach out to women on two occasions, different occasions, and she won’t make dates because she’s busy, or if you’ve stopped reaching out to her and yet she’s reaching out to you, and then on two separate occasions, you try to make dates when she reaches out to you first and she still is too busy, then you won’t bring up getting together or going out on dates anymore until she brings it up first, because all he’s doing is spinning his wheels.

Fast-forward an additional 6 months (last summer 2023) she then told me she needed the space to focus on herself and didn’t think she could see me anymore. 

And so, under normal circumstances, when I read a sentence like that, she needs space, and she needs to focus on herself. Women that have been over pursued to the point where they’re turned off and they’ve lost attraction that’s what they all say. Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Pakistan, Australia, the UK, Russia, China. I’ve talked to dudes literally in every continent, every cultural and religious background.

And women say that, say that exact phrase when they’ve been over pursued. That’s why when I’m going through an email like this, and the guy doesn’t tell me he was over pursuing, I already know he is because of what she said. And that’s just because I’ve been doing this so long, I’m able to pick these things out. But under normal circumstances, having not talked to this guy, when I see a sentence like that, I know right away. “Oh, he was definitely over pursuing her.”

I simply told her that it was not what I wanted, but if it was what she wanted, then OK. We spent the summer apart.  She did drop off some surprises at my house when I wasn’t home, she would initiate contact every 10-14 days, and eventually at the end of the summer wanted to see me again. 

So he rightly stopped asking her out, even though she kept reaching out every few weeks.

We met up, started going on dates and hooking up again.

But if you notice, it was her idea. She was the one doing the pursuing and where he went wrong was once she started pursuing him again, he went right back to pursuing her and within a matter of weeks, he was over pursuing her once again. So predictably, eventually he’s going to smother her and over pursue her to the point where she no longer feels free. And she’s going to say, “I need space. I need to work on myself.

I’m not sure where I’m able to be at this point in my life. I got a lot going on right now,” is another one that women use that have been pursued too much. The bottom line is they’re saying, “I can’t see you. Hey, look at my schedule. Everything’s booked for a month, so don’t even try.” You’ll see in a minute here, there’s a part where she brings up her schedule and shows it to him.

Bringing us to the current situation, I feel that we are at the end of another “cycle” we went through the December 2023 holidays doing things with our respective families, but still messaging consistently. 

And obviously since I talked to him, he’s doing most of the messaging, and that was the problem. She started the courtship back up again after she pushed him away, and his mistake was picking back up his pursuit of her, instead of letting her do all the pursuing. Because, as I discussed in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, when somebody pushes you away and wants space and doesn’t want to see you anymore, you never call or text him again for any reason. And if they start reaching out, you try to set a date, two different, separate occasions in a row and she won’t make time for you, then you don’t ask her again.

Then after that, when she does like in this case, she’s reaching out every 12 to 14 days, send 3 or 4 texts back and forth. “Hey, how you been? How are you? Great, nice to hear from you. Blah blah blah. Oh, I’ve been this. How’s this? Uh, hey, it’s great hearing from you, but I got an appointment to run to. I’ll talk to you later.” And then you just leave the conversation because she has to bring up getting together. Or one of two things will happen. You should you bring up getting together or you’ll never see each other again. So but again remember he’s he’s new to the work. And so he didn’t understand those principles. That’s why he kept getting stuck in quicksand or stuck in the sand in the beach if you will.

We got together briefly for a nice romantic dinner on New Year’s Day night and again were intimate.

And obviously since I talked to him, he’s doing most of the messaging, and that was the problem. She started the courtship back up again after she pushed him away, and his mistake was picking back up his pursuit of her, instead of letting her do all the pursuing. Because, as I discussed in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, when somebody pushes you away and wants space and doesn’t want to see you anymore, you never call or text him again for any reason.

And if they start reaching out, you try to set a date, two different, separate occasions in a row and she won’t make time for you, then you don’t ask her again. Then after that, when she does like in this case, she’s reaching out every 12 to 14 days, send 3 or 4 texts back and forth. “Hey, how you been? How are you? Great, nice to hear from you. Blah blah blah. Oh, I’ve been this. How’s this? Uh, hey, it’s great hearing from you, but I got an appointment to run to. I’ll talk to you later.”

And then you just leave the conversation because she has to bring up getting together. Or one of two things will happen. You should you bring up getting together or you’ll never see each other again. So but again remember he’s he’s new to the work. And so he didn’t understand those principles. That’s why he kept getting stuck in quicksand or stuck in the sand in the beach if you will.

Following that we messaged as usual, but then about two to three weeks ago I noticed that her messaging started to fall off. I remembered that the last time she did this was right before she “broke” things off last summer. So, I decided to back off on my initiating. It seems that she reaches out every two to three days if she doesn’t hear from me.

Well again, because she’s the one pushing you away asking for space. What that means is you’re smothering her. You’re over pursuing her. You’re calling and texting way too much. And when a woman pushes you away and doesn’t want to see you, and you go the whole summer without seeing each other in person, you don’t call, you don’t text for any reason. Because she ended the the relationship, she unilaterally cut it off. Therefore it’s her job to fix it. She pushed you away and said, “Stop, stop pursuing me.” And therefore she’s got to pick it back up. And even when she does pick back up, you got to let her do 100% of the pursuing.

We have been on only 1 real date since where we both had a good time but didn’t hook up because it was her time of the month. 

Well, if you’re making a date when you haven’t seen her in like two months or a month and a half, and after a year and a half, you should know when her cycle is. So that’s kind of on you for making a date when you know she’s on her period. But I don’t know, maybe you had gotten your red wings before and now she’s not down to hook up when she’s on her period. But sometimes women will do that. They’ll make dates when they know they have a period, because then they can just go, “Oh, I’m having my period. I can’t sleep with you.”

She told me that she was going to be really busy the next several months with all of her kids’ events and even showed me with her planner that she is pretty much booked up every weekend until late spring or summer. 

Remember when he first met her. They were seeing each other multiple times a week and having sex, but she’s like, “Hey, look how busy I am.” In other words, she’s saying, “Hey, don’t even try. I’m busy. I know how you are. I know you’re going to pester me to spend time with you, but look. Yeah, I’m all booked up. Don’t even try.”

Scheduling has always been difficult due to both of our kids’ events.

Well, it wasn’t difficult in that first month and that’s the thing you’re ignoring.

And so I did show some needy behavior by trying to suggest something for valentine’s day and even another weekday date night. 

I believe she called him on Valentine’s Day, if I’m not mistaken, and they talked for a bit, but I think he invited her over something she was not down to come over. Again he’s just like a really an occasional once or twice a month booty call. After that first month or so when they first met and was hot and heavy, he’s maybe once or twice a month he sees her. That’s not good.

She ignored both of my offers and seemed to act as though she never read them.

Yeah. When he asked her when she was available to get together, she just didn’t even reply. And so, that tells me she just kind of stirring the pot, just trying to make sure he’s still interested. And I also said there’s probably a good chance she’s there’s some other guy in the picture that she likes, and you’re kind of in backup plan. You’re the backup booty call that she can hook up with once or twice a month. If she’s really lonely and not got anything else going on.

I didn’t bring it up again and pulled back even further letting her do all of the initiating for the past 5-7 days. 

Well, that’s the way it should always be. And I told him on the phone session, you got to let her do 100% of the calling, texting, and pursuing. From now on, you got to resist the urge to call and text and try to move things along. Even if she starts reaching out and making dates and you’re hooking up again, you have to let her do 100% of the pursuing. And the only time you’re going to reach out once she starts doing 100% of the pursuing, is if she’s complaining like 3 or 4 times that you never reach out, you never call.

Then once a week I would reach out in a different way. Maybe a call one week. Next week might be a text. The week after that, you might write a nice little card saying some things you love about her and mail it to her. The only reason she’s going to complain that you never reach out. In other words, she’s just saying, “I want to feel that you care and you don’t ever reach out.” And so, it kind of makes me feel like you don’t care at all. When a woman says that 3 or 4 times 3 or 4 different occasions. Then once a week you can reach out because then that’s you showing that you care.

But under normal circumstances, by week 6 or 7 of dating somebody, you’re going to be talking to the girl 2 or 3 times a day anyways, and you’re going to see her that night. You’re either going to be at her house or she’s going to be at yours. If you’ve done what is in The Book, that’s how it progresses. And if a woman’s texting you or calling you 2 or 3 times a day and you’re usually seeing each other every night, there’s no reason to initiate any contact at that point. Everything is her idea. And then, you know, you might spend a bunch of time together, and then all of a sudden a day or two go by and you don’t hear from her. That’s totally normal.

And he can’t come unglued, and let it cause you to be fearful that you’re losing her, and then start pursuing her again. Because like we mentioned earlier in the beginning of the video, this guy’s totally driven by his fear of losing her, despite the fact that he’s completely ignoring that. In essence, he already has lost her. He’s lost her three times. He’s pursued her to the point where she just doesn’t even want to see him anymore. But she likes the attention, and she likes having him as a backup plan. He’s not a priority to her. And I know that’s hard for him to hear, but that’s the reality. Because unless you see that and recognize that you’re not going to change your behavior.

So far, she reaches out to me to ask me little things here and there. She said she was thinking about dropping by one morning if I was home, but I told her that I wasn’t but that I would love to see her that evening for dinner. She said she had other plans between child pick up from school, friends stopping by her place and then her going over to another girlfriend’s house later that night to catch up.

So, notice that long explanation of how busy, “I got all these things going on. I can’t see you.” So, she wanted to come by probably in the morning to do something platonic, stir the pot, but not have to worry about hooking up or anything. Just to make sure he’s still interested and to enjoy his attention. And then she would leave and then he would have blue balls.

I told her that it seemed like she was busy and that we would just make it another time.

Which is the right response.

We have never had the relationship talk, have never been official, but have great times together.

Yeah, he’s an occasional once or twice a month booty call. We rarely see each other more than once every two weeks due to schedules. It’s not schedules, it’s interest, bro.

We rarely see each other more than once every two weeks due to schedules.

And now it seems to be slipping to monthly. 

Yeah, because you’re a backup booty call at this point. And like I said, I told him on the phone, I it really seems like she has another guy that she’s probably spending most of her time with. She’s probably hanging out with Chad Thunder Cock.

We had been messaging consistently but since I noticed her pulling back and her ignoring my most recent date offers. I have pulled back even further to let her initiate. I have the fear that I will not hear from her again as things continue to fizzle out, but I will stick to it.

Well, you tried it your way for the past year and a half, so how’s that working? Not. It’s obviously not working very well because if it had been, we would not have ended up on a phone session the other night. But you can tell his fear is he’s having a hard time trying to apply what’s in The Book because he’s afraid of losing her, despite the fact he’s lost her. She’s not making time for him. She’s not having sex with him. They haven’t had sex in months.

I just haven’t been able to gain traction with her.

And again, that just shows the mindset. “How do I get her attention? How do I get her to pay attention to me? How do I get her to spend time with me?” That’s not how a man should be thinking.

Since we do not see each other much and it seems like every 6 months we get to a point where things end.

That’s because you’re smothering her.

I’m hoping she comes back, but if and when she does, are there any other suggestions that you can provide in how to move this towards a relationship and avoid the repetitive cycle?

Well, stop pursuing her. Let her do a 100% of the pursuing and like at this point, as he and I discussed in the phone session the other night, was that because he tried multiple times to go out on dates and what happened in the last two times he suggested a date she completely ignored it, acted like she didn’t even see it. In other words, she left him on read. So he’s never going to ask her out again, even when she reaches out, unless she brings up getting together. So if she brings up getting together, try to make a date. And then if she doesn’t, then just say, “Call me when your schedule frees up.”

And then the next time she reaches out, don’t bring up getting together unless she does first. She has to bring it up. It has to be her idea. Because with him asking her out every time they speak, she says “No,” it’s not her idea. And it’s clear the only reason she’s reaching out at this point is just to make sure he’s still interested. Because he’s a backup. Because what it looks like is she’s sleeping with somebody else. But just wants to make sure if it doesn’t work out, the other guy, he’s still potentially available, and that’s why she tries to meet him in the morning and basically cockblock him with day plans.

And that’s why in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, when you’re at the point that this guy is at, you’re only interested in making a date in the evening at your place to make dinner together. Women who are just stirring the pot, like this woman is, just trying to make sure you’re still a good backup for her. They they will, “Oh, let’s do a group date. Oh, let’s meet for lunch. Let’s meet for coffee. Let’s meet in neutral ground.” And they do everything to avoid coming over in the evening and making dinner together. Why? Because women know if they make a date with you in the evening to make dinner at your place, sex is potentially on the table.

That’s just a fact of life. And that’s why women who aren’t interested in sex, or they think you’re too soft to give you sex again, will try to get you to comply with friendship and lunch dates and group dates or coffee dates, or meeting in neutral ground. And when you comply with that, that’s why you stay stuck in friend zone and with blue balls. And this way she has to come to your place. And the only distance that you’re going to travel is the distance that it takes to go from wherever you are in your house to your front door to let her in.

I get that her attraction is low, and I need to build it up, but I am just struggling to do so. 

How do I deal with her reach outs to me about things that are not suggestive of getting together?

Well, answer her question and then, “Hey, I got to run and talk to you later.”

I don’t think I should keep asking her out if she is going to either ignore me or not provide alternative dates if she cannot make it.

Thank You in advance for any advice or help.

Bob

Yeah, exactly. So this guy is at the point where he’s never going to ask her out again unless she brings it up first. And if she suggests getting together, he’s got to have the balls to hold out for a dinner date. Because if she’s not serious about sex and romance, she’ll say, “Oh, I’ll come by in the morning,” or, “Oh, hey, let’s go to lunch.” She’ll try to do something that is platonic.

And so, that’s why it’s important to follow the script. That’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, because women can get you to comply with their platonic friendship offer by getting you to do things that are platonic instead of romantic in nature; i.e. going for coffee, meeting for lunch, dropping by your house in the morning real quick to say hi.

Because the only reason she’s even getting in touch with this guy now because he’s tried to set dates with her, is she just wants to make sure he’s still on the hook. He’s still one of the potential fish that she could reel in if things don’t work out with Chad Thunder Cock, or whoever she happens to be giving it up to. Or spending her time with.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.