How to know why your girl got bored and left you to re-attract her back or attract someone better.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work for the past five years. However, he was a lazy student and only read my book, How To Be A 3% Man, once several years ago and only read it for the 2nd time last month. As a result, he chased his girlfriend right out of his life without realizing it.
Now she is starting to come back, but he is unsure of what to do so she wants to be exclusive and stops partying with her friends. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
This guy’s been following me five years, he’s watched probably hundreds, and who knows, maybe even thousands of videos at this point. And I’m constantly saying, you’ve got to read the book 10 to 15 times. People who have great success stories read the book 10 to 15 times. People that do things the opposite of what I teach and have a terrible experience, they don’t read the book, they cherry pick. And that’s what he’s been doing, cherry picking for five years. So, because of that, come on, man! You can get these mugs at Teespring, in the Coach Corey Wayne store. I think you need to get a dozen of these and have them everywhere in your house. Five years and you read the book twice. Come on, man, you can do better than that.
When you look at the guys that got stuck in the cult of Rollo, the Rollo zombies, I like to call them, they’re like, “I understand a woman’s true nature!” What, that women like to date up? I mean, if you act like a bitch, women are going to treat you like a bitch. If you stop leading your woman, she’s not going to trust your masculine core and eventually she’s going to leave you.
If you’re with a woman with low integrity, she’ll probably cheat on you. If you’re with a woman who has integrity, she’ll probably leave you, take some time to be single and then start dating other guys. That’s basically what it boils down to. “Hypergamy doesn’t care,” and all the other red pill nonsense, it doesn’t matter. If you’re going to date chicks that belong to the streets, you’re going to have problems. It’s as simple as that.
If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, ideally, women that have good relationships with their dads and their mothers, and their parents have a good relationship, tend to be good, long-term relationship material. And guys run into problems when they try to turn a hoe and do a housewife. Some of these guys write books and go on and on about how horrible single women are. That’s ridiculous.
It doesn’t mean every single woman who’s now gotten divorced is just undateable. It’s absurd, because maybe she made a bad choice. Maybe her husband cheated on her. And maybe a guy comes along who is now a single dad and his wife cheated on him. Or maybe something happened, maybe she passed away. Or maybe the woman is a good woman, and her husband passed away, and the only reason she’s single is because she lost her spouse.
But you listen to these douchebags in the red pill community, “Oh, you shouldn’t date single moms.” Shut up. You don’t listen to imbeciles like that. They don’t know what they’re fucking talking about. And plus, when you read their books, they’ve got no tips in there. Their book is just, “Here’s why all women suck and why you should just pump and dump and treat them the same.” Okay, you’re going to be a miserable human being if you look at the world that way.
I hope you are doing well through these unprecedented times.
I’m sick of all the BS, but luckily, I live in the free state of Florida.
I wanted to reach out and let you know about my success (but not yet finished!) story! I’ve been following your work for about 5 years, and had read your book once a few years ago only to read it a second time last month. I know… I’ve been slacking!
Well, here we are.
I will have read it 10 times by Q1, 2022… promise!
Well, as Gerald Celente of the Trends Research Institute says, “Current events form future trends.” You could say, well, over the last five years you read it twice, so probably in the next five years, you’ll be lucky if you read it twice. Or you could say you read it once in the last month, and maybe you will read it once a month for the next twelve months. We’ll see in Quarter 1. That’s what, three months away, four months away?
Anyway… I am 25 years old. I work really hard and have been doing very well for myself, especially for someone my age. I have been with tons of women in my life, so I have some experience.
So, he’s been with “some women,” not “tons of women.”
That said, I still fuck up! See below.
Six months ago, I met a girl that totally rocked my world. I acted charming, mysterious, didn’t overpursue, and when week 7 hit, she asked to be exclusive! I said yes.
So far, so good. How well did the cherry picking work out for this particular dude?
The problem started when I began to act needy and insecure a few months down the road.
There it is, ladies and gentlemen. This is what happens when you don’t read the book 10 to 15 times, you meet a girl you really like out of the blue, just when you’re not expecting it, and what happened? How did the cherry picking work out? Predictably, bad.
She works at a pub a block away from my place, and I have a beautiful condo. As such, she would get off work late at night and come home to me almost every day.
That’s so nice and lovely.
We were basically living together at mine, even though she had her own place too. I took this woman on trips and treated her like my queen. She reciprocated for a while.
Until you reverted back to your old ways, and you became comfortable. And you didn’t learn how to keep a woman attracted, then you started displaying more and more unattractive behavior. And if you act unattractive, it doesn’t matter how many of Rollo Tomassi’s books you read about “woman’s true nature,” it’s not going to help you, it’s not going to solve the problem. It’ll just give you a reason to be bitter and go, “It’s not my fault. All women are the same. That’s what I read in the book. That’s what red pill awareness is.”
But then she started going out with her girlfriends a lot.
Oh, so you stopped being fun, and exciting, and interesting, and mysterious. And she started hanging out with her girlfriends because you weren’t acting like a man, so she thought, “Maybe I can do better.” Women date up, so do men. And because you acted unworthy and unattractive, she started going, “I think I could do better than this guy.”
On Fridays and Saturdays, she would come home after work, get all dressed up, only to go out without me, and I wasn’t invited!
I’m shocked, shocked, I tell you. I can’t believe it. She’s monkey branching.
I felt a bit insecure about this, and also slightly disrespected, (my home is not a hotel).
Well, bro, you did it to yourself. Come on, man. This is what happens. You did it to yourself, this is your karma. You didn’t listen to the coach. You can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.
She’d be out until the early morning.
She’s looking for a man who acts like a man consistently, and you’re becoming the Harry Honda, nice guy, backup plan.
I started to feel her attraction for me drop, and although she really appreciated me…
Thanks for the free room and board!
…she just wasn’t that into me anymore.
Well, yeah, you stopped being attractive like you were in the beginning. This will happen to anybody. It doesn’t matter how many red pills you’ve been consuming, if you act unattractive, you’re going to get blown off.
I’m sure the “grass is always greener” vibe was hitting her…
No, you were repulsing her by your display of unattractive behavior. That’s reality.
…getting approached by tons of guys and seeing her single girlfriends going out all the time.
Yeah, because you bored her to death. I know it’s harsh, but it’s reality. You see, guys that get into the red pill community, they read this and they go, “Oh, she’s monkey branching because all women suck. It’s horrible. It’s not me, I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t display anything unattractive. It’s just “the grass is always greener” vibe hit her. Hypergamy doesn’t care.”
I was definitely overpursuing and acting insecure about her going out.
More unattractive behavior on top of unattractive behavior, that’ll work out well.
So, one day, she broke up with me.
I can’t believe it. Unattractive behavior and not acting like a man led to you getting dumped. Shocking, I can’t believe it.
We both cried and she spent the night over, we kissed goodbye and she said she loved me and wished all the best for me. But I knew what to do! “Hey, I wish you all the best too, and give me a call if you change your mind,” and no contact.
Well, at least you did that right.
I went out and met various different women. In the pickup community there is a saying for when you are heartbroken, “GFTOW” (go f ten other women). None of them rocked my world like she did, but I had a lot of fun nonetheless.
So, it was glorified masturbation with live human subjects.
A few weeks went by, and guess who misses me and wants to see me again? Lol. Works like a charm.
Not surprised at all.
Anyway, I made a date, took her for dinner.
I know, we should have just stayed at my place.
You see, the dude just still ain’t listening. “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back,” says the furthest that you’re going to travel to see this girl is going to be wherever it is in your nice condo to go to your front door to let her in. That’s it. Three dates in a row. You’ve got to hang out, have fun and hook up all three dates, and then you can go meet her out and pick her up. But you’ve got to let her do 100% of the pursuing. You’ve got to see here, dude, that you’re not following things. You’re still trying to revert back to your old ways.
But we had a fun time, it was light-hearted, full of laughter, and now she wants to see me.
Well, this is what happens. I didn’t hear anything about sex. She didn’t beat up the bishop, she didn’t ride you like a wild stallion. You went out, you violated a principle and you didn’t get laid. Still not following what I teach, bro.
She tried to reschedule our second date…
Remember what he just said, “she wants to see me.” Yeah, she wants to see you so bad, she rescheduled the second date.
…to which I said no problem. She then found out I was at a local nightclub surrounded by hot women, which made her stick to the original plan, ha-ha.
“Other women” is a powerful motivator, because having other women in your life shows that you’re actually a man of value, you’re actually attractive.
I’m going out with her tonight, and hopefully it will be a fun date at this cool bar!
What did he just get done saying, “I know, I should have stayed at my place.” But nope, Mr. Nice Guy, Harry Honda is like, “Oh, I’ll take her out and show her a good time. I’ll show her the works. I’m going to blow all kinds of money on her.” Come on, fuck, dude. Jesus Christ. Come on.
I told her to meet me at my place and dress up, because I have a little something planned.
Not listening. She’s not worth your money. I wouldn’t be going anywhere with her. She can come over to your house, that’s it. She’s got to earn another chance with you, and instead, he’s trying to show off to her like, “Look how great of a guy I am. Will you please fall in love with me again, Your Highness? Can I kiss your feet tonight?”
She is excited again and attracted to me! I am not sure if we will get back together or not, but what matters is that I went from being sad and lonely after a breakup to having tons of options, including the girl who dumped me.
Yeah, don’t be counting those chickens yet, bro.
So, for that I can only be grateful. Thank you, Coach! My only question for you is, if we get back together down the road and she continues to come home late and go out till late with her girlfriends without bringing me around, should I tolerate it?
Oh, man. Five years. No wonder you’ve only read the book twice. You’re like, “Oh, she’s calling me now, so I don’t need your book anymore, Corey. I’ll just go right back to my failed approach, and I’ll chase her right back out of my life again.” Notice, he’s all focused on locking her down, focusing on a relationship, instead of ,”Should I give this girl another chance? These other girls I’ve been meeting are pretty nice, so I’m not so sure about her. I’ve already seen what it’s all about.”
Or am I just being insecure?
You’re definitely being insecure.
Or is this unacceptable behavior for a girlfriend?
Dude, here’s the reality. The reason she goes out with her girlfriends without you is because she’s bored of you, she’s not attracted you, and she’s looking to find your replacement. Why? Because women want to date up. You went from being a catch, or she perceived you as a catch, to you’re just an average Harry Honda that she can be amused by, and you’ll spend money on her and show her a good time. And she might even give you blue balls for your troubles.
But the reality is, if you let this girl come to you, if you actually follow what the book says and stop focusing on locking her down to a commitment or a relationship, then it’s up to her to seek a commitment from you. Your job is to just simply create an opportunity for sex to happen, to hang out, to have fun, to hook up.
I’d let her do 100% of the pursuing. Again, three dates in a row at your place. But even on your second date, after you acknowledge the first date, you should have had her come over and meet at your place. You don’t go out on dates when you’re trying to seduce your ex. You want to regain the sex and the intimacy that you had, and you don’t do that by being Mr. Nice guy, going out on the town and blowing a bunch of money on her.
You’re doing the opposite of what I teach, so you’re going to fail. And she’s going to reject you again, and it’s going to probably be even more painful, because then you’ll probably find out she’s fucking some other dude. But hey, it’s your life. All I can do is gently suggest. But if you want to be a hard case and do it your way, that didn’t work the first time and the second time around.
The reality is she won’t want to go out with those other girls, because you’ll be so much more fun. And if you notice, in the beginning, she didn’t want to go out and do things with other people. She wanted to come home and be a snuggle bunny with you. But as soon as you started acting like a mangina, she didn’t want to snuggle with you. She wanted to go rub up against somebody else who was worthy. Somebody who actually acted attractive consistently.
I am not sure if this is an unreasonable boundary to have, or if I should just accept the behavior as a normal part of a young girl’s life. I have full trust in her in terms of cheating, (if we were to be exclusive again down the road), as she has never given me a reason to not trust her.
Thanks a lot Coach for everything. You truly helped me turn my heartbreak into a fun love life!
Yeah, you don’t know that yet, dude. The fact that she was going out and partying all the time and then she broke up with you, that tells me that she kept you around as her backup plan, even came over to change at your place because it was convenient, and then you sat at home with your blue balls while she went out to find and interview your replacement. So, you really have no idea what happened or what she’s really like. You’re just assuming that she’s a loyal and faithful woman.
The reality is, you acted like a chump. If you act like a chump, you’re going to get treated like a chump. So, don’t be a chump, act like a man. Let her do 100% of the pursuing. Let her do all of the calling and texting. Make her come to your place and make dinner together. You’re not following what I teach, dude. You’re continually doing the opposite. And if you continue to do that, you’re going to end up rejected, just like the first time. That’s the harsh reality.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“A woman is a complement to a successful man who leads a fun life that is exciting and emotionally compelling to him. A man who has a vision, purpose and an exciting and compelling mission for his life’s work. Men who put women on a pedestal mistakenly substitute their women for their purpose and literally chase and bore the women right out of their lives. Most men and women become platonic roommates the longer they are together. If a man stops being worthy of leading his woman, eventually she will follow some other guy who is.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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