Why You Shouldn’t Keep Dating Women Who Won’t Kiss You

Why it’s best to walk away from women who continually reject & won’t kiss you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email update from a viewer whose previous email I answered in, “If You’re Confused About Her Interest, She’s Probably Not Interested.” He kept trying to date and seduce her but she gave the excuse she was a virgin, and didn’t want to do PDA because they live in Dubai.

He kept trying to date her and ignored the fact she wasn’t reciprocating and had lots of excuses as to why she was holding back. Then she told him she lost her virginity to another guy she had been dating for some time and had been stringing him along. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a guy who I did a video newsletter for him in the past. I guess it was sometime earlier this year. The title of that was, “If You’re Confused About Her Interest, She’s Probably Not Interested.”

So this particular guy sends an update. Just to refresh your memory, he and this girl live in Dubai. She claims she’s a virgin. So he’s trying to kiss her. You know, Dubai has some morality laws, no PDA, that kind of thing, shouldn’t be kissy poo in public, especially if you’re not married, that kind of thing. It doesn’t go over well. She’s saying, “Oh, I’m a virgin. I don’t want any PDA. I don’t want to get in trouble.” So he kept dating her, they would go out on dates and she would turn the head and not kiss him, but she liked him taking her out, spending money and doing fun things with her. However, he continues dating other women, but he later finds out that she actually lost her virginity to some other guy she’s been seeing. Now he kind of feels like a chump because he spent all his time dating her or trying to advance things, all while just completely ignoring that she’s not reciprocating.

This is kind of like the extreme case of why you don’t keep dating, trying to kiss and seduce a woman who clearly gives him the attitude and gives him excuses. It kind of make logical sense in the culture of where they live, but if you look at her actions, she’s dating another guy and lost her virginity to somebody else who she was actually attracted to, but she sure liked him spending time with her and spending money on her. This is kind of an extreme case of, again, why there’s a kiss test in the book, and why you don’t keep going out with a girl where it just doesn’t advance at all.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I hope you’re doing well. I have been following your work for couple of years now and gone through 3% Man four times (I know my goal is at least 10 times).

So there’s already part of your problem. Been through the book a handful of times. Because of his mindset, he’s just kind of cherry picking things that he thinks are going to help him in his situation, but he doesn’t really bother to take the time to learn the philosophy. Yet, he continued interacting with this woman.

You recently did a video newsletter titled, “If You’re Confused About Her Interest, She’s Probably Not Interested.” A lot has happened since then with the girl I have been seeing for past few months. We live in Dubai, there was some issues with PDA and her interest was fluctuating throughout as I mentioned earlier.

I think also he was double and triple texting her and things of that nature. So he didn’t really have clean game as it was, but he’s clearly focused on his interest in her and not really paying attention to the fact that she has low to no interest in him.

After the second date, you discussed in your newsletter, I played it cool, not call or double text her anymore. If she reached out after a few weeks I would set up another date. I took her to another beach and the mall, which she suggested. I wanted to invite her near my place so we could finally get some alone time but she refused and convinced me to go with her to this beach near her place.

So he’s making dates during the day. He’s clearly not really following anything I teach. He’s just happy to spend time with her.

If you guys hear some weird noises, the puppies are in here moving around, wrestling, maybe a little noise, you may hear some growling occasionally.

It was OK at first, but when I tried to make a move, she gave me the same resistance.

A girl who likes you is going to kiss you. She’ll make herself available to her. A girl who continually won’t kiss you, she’s either structured or just not interested. You got to pay attention to these things unless you want to waste a lot of your time and money, like this particular guy did.

It was after sunset and pretty quiet but she was still scared of other people seeing it.

Seeing them kiss.

I did manage to kiss her a few times and grabbed her boobs and ass but nothing more.

So that tells me he doesn’t really have any game.

So you guys can’t see this, but off camera there’s sound panels all around me, so she went outside. No whining, we’re filming here! Don’t cry! Don’t be a little bitch!

We went to dinner afterward…

Probably not a cheap dinner. It is Dubai after all.

…And I was a bit mad because she wouldn’t let me kiss her and always put on this resistance.

Again, this should be obvious from the book, but he’s thinking, “Hey, she’s hanging out with me, she must like me.”

Then she told me she is a virgin and not ready for anything sexual. I told her that was OK and I joked about not being interested in taking her virginity since that would make her clingy.

Or he joked. Obviously went over like a lead balloon.

After that, I traveled back home for a family event. She wished me safe flight and I came back to Dubai and got her a few gifts from my trip.

So he’s buying her gifts, treating her like a girlfriend. Again, this is not what the book teaches. The book says don’t do these things. So you can see he’s cherry picking and does things that, in his mind, justify continuing to pursue, continuing to chase, continuing to ignore that she has no interest in him.

I wanted to see her, so I invited her to the movies. (I know movie dates are bad idea). 

They’re fine when you’re exclusive, but when you haven’t even kissed the girl and she’s always turning her head and you continue, again there’s not much you can do with somebody that’s not going to listen.

At the movies, I held her hand and she held it tightly. She showed affection, but then again, nothing in public. I gave her all the gifts I got her and she was blushing saying, “No one has ever done this for me.” 

Sure…

On our way back home, she asked me to ride with her in the cab. I did and she asked to get a neck massage I got her to put her head on my lap and massaged her neck and whole back. I tried to kiss her then, but she wouldn’t and said, “It is just weird now.”

Again, because he’s totally a friend. She likes him spending money on her, she likes the attention, but it’s clear she’s not into this guy and he’s just absolutely as clueless as I’ve seen them be.

I asked her to hug me goodbye. She did, and that was it.

After this date, she said, “I really appreciate you and thank you for treating me right.”

After a few weeks went by, I was also dating other girls and seeing how things go. She knows I am dating other women and one of her issue with me is that she thinks I don’t want a serious relationship and we can not have a future because I will end up with a girl my parents choose for me.

It sounds like a nice excuse, and she’s going, “Oh, I’m just holding back because you’re going to probably date somebody else your parents choose,” speaking of an arranged type of marriage.

Never try to film a video with two puppies in the room who can’t sit still and are now licking my feet. Thank you. Thank you for the foot bath. You guys are welcome…

I sent her a meme after two weeks of no contact as you suggested in the last video newsletter. To which she responded, “I knew you would remember me. I am just wearing the top you got for me. What a coincidence!”

Sure…

So he’s buying her gifts, which comes off as a bribe for sex and a relationship, they’re in Dubai, she’s got this guy bamboozled, he’s buying her things, he’s taking her to expensive meals. Probably maybe because Chad Thundercock, who she’ll actually end up hooking up with later on in the email, is probably not doing any of those things. So congratulations, you’re probably part of a Frankenstein boyfriend project.

But then she says she got something to tell me. She has been trying to say that for a few weeks now but would change her mind.

I convinced her to tell me and that I won’t judge. I asked if she lose her virginity or hooked up.

“I got something I have to tell you!”

She said, “Yes. How did you know?” Then she acted guilty, asking me, “Am I a bad person? Easy girl? Someone who doesn’t respect herself?”

So this is like the typical beta male orbiter that just has no idea. He keeps hanging out with her, he doesn’t have the balls to walk away, she continues to use him for attention and gifts, who knows, maybe he’s given her money too, taking her to expensive meals and all kinds of ridiculous stuff. Meanwhile, she does nothing for him other than occasionally dangle the carrot, and he’s too gullible to notice the fact that she’s not reciprocating any romantic attention. On top of that, she went and lost her virginity to Chad Thundercock.

I said, “I am in no position to judge,” and that, “I hooked up too so not a big deal.” I asked if this was a time thing or she is dating this guy. She says she is not dating. We don’t want anything serious…

Sure…

Yeah, there’s the little troublemaker! Look at you. What are you doing? Look, you’re disturbing everybody. Isn’t she cute? You little freak.

So back to our email, and my little furry assistant here that keeps interrupting me. You’re so rudely interrupting us!

…But have been seeing him every week for past month and then says, “I want you to keep you as friend, as my guy who lifts my spirit and help me forget about him and sex,” and that never again she will have sex.

Oh man, this guy’s going, “Awf, awf, awf, awf! A little puppy. I got puppy dogs. Oh, a little puppy. A little puppy.” Look, we’ll do the puppy bark. “Awf, awf! Oh, mommy, show me attention! Love me, lick me, love me. Oh, he’s a little puppy dog. Scratch my belly. Scratch my belly, honey!”

This is terrible, dude. This is not how you behave, but he doesn’t listen. He’s just again, totally focused on his interests and completely ignoring, and she’s dropping the friendship thing.

I figured she made up her mind to see this guy and continue hooking up and just wants to keep me as a backup.

No, she likes you as her gay male girlfriend and her emotional tampon, because you’re so gullible and so easy to bamboozle. Besides, how can you resist such a cute face? You can’t, that’s the problem. It’s the power of the poussoir. They can’t resist the poussoir.

I said, “I care about you and I like you but I am not going to be your backup plan while you explore things with other guy or hook up with another guy. If it doesn’t workout give me a call.” This got her upset. She says, “This makes it difficult but I will try to handle it. Good luck with your hookups too be safe and thank you for listening.” I said, “Again, if it doesn’t workout with him, reach out.”

He’s feeling like a total chump right now.

That was it. I feel like she cheated on me…

Bro, you weren’t even together. She wouldn’t even kiss you. She didn’t kiss you because she didn’t like you and you kept ignoring that. You thought, “I’m gonna wear down. I saw it in the movies. Totally saw it in the movies.”

…And deceived me because whenever I tried to make a move she said she doesn’t do PDA and is a virgin so she didn’t want to escalate things.

Again, you bought her bullshit, which is pretty obvious. You always bottom line a woman’s actions. That’s in the book, but you didn’t really take the time to read the book. You didn’t really want to learn the book.

However, with this dude, she went all the way and she has been seeing him for some time now…

Because he acts like a man and she likes him.

…And kept things from me.

Yeah, because she knew you were gullible, dumb and would put up with it and you were ignoring what was in the book. I know I told you this stuff in the last email, but you still didn’t listen then, and you’re still not listening.

She hinted that she wanted to tell me something, but would change her mind fearing she will lose me. I am not sure if she is seeing this dude longer or recently because she told me there is just one other guy. 

I have walked away and it hurts, but I am not going to contact her. I am wondering what should be my strategy if she contacts after couple of weeks or months.

Invite her over to make dinner at your place. That’s it. You don’t meet her out, you don’t pick her up, you don’t buy her gifts, you don’t become a digital pen pal, you don’t do any of that nonsense. All she has to do is blink at you and you just turn into a glob of Jell-O.

How should I handle it?

You should be following what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. That’s it. She’s coming to your house, hang out, have fun, hook up. If she uses the F word, say, “We can be friends with benefits, but I’m never going to interact with you in a platonic way. If you really, truly want to see me and spend time with me, then come over. We’ll make dinner and we’ll make love afterwards.” Say that to her, and if she’s like, “Oh no, I’m never having sex again,” I’d be like, “Great. Then call one of your guy friends because I’m looking for the right woman for me, and you’ve just been wasting my time, so go bother somebody else.” You can tell her that. You’ve been acting like such a chump, dude.

Should I just invite her over to my place and not go out with her again or ask if she’s done with this guy?

Again, just follow what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. Invite her over to make dinner at your place, but you should talk to her. If she does reach out and she says, “Oh, I want to see you, I miss you,” he can be like, “Great! Why don’t you come over? We’ll make dinner and make love afterwards.” If she gives you any resistance or a hard time, “Oh, I just want to go to a movie or go to the beach with me,” because probably that’s all she had to do in the past. He would just go, OK. Awf, awf, I’m a little puppy. Look at me, I’m a little puppy.” Isn’t he ridiculous? He acts ridiculous, doesn’t he? Yes. I know you don’t like beta males either, do you? They’re so gross. I know. Me and Ocean are going to troll you.

At this point, should I even ask her situation with new guy or just focus on hooking up with her? She says she will never have sex until marriage and would lock her things, not even with me.

But she’ll be gladly fucking Chad Thundercock.

But now, I just don’t trust this girl.

Yeah, because you’re fucking gullible and you walked right into it. It was so obvious. It’s like you didn’t want to listen to me and I was trying to prevent you from wasting your time. That’s why these things are in the book, because I made all these mistakes when I was younger. I made all these mistakes when I was a teenager in my early 20s. I mean, these were the obvious ones. I started to recognize that you spend that much time and that much effort hanging out with a girl and she doesn’t want to kiss? Obviously she’s not interested, but she likes the attention, she likes the free meals. Girls like a full belly, and then they can go over and have Chad Thundercock rearrange their insides and help digest their food later.

Coach, help me deal with her when she comes back because I know she would try again to friend-zone me to get free dates out of me while she bangs another guy.

Best Regards,

Bob

Well, that’s because you’re too much of a pussy to stand up to her and stand up for what you want. You got to read the book and you got to apply it. You’ve pretty much completely done the opposite and ignored the book. Then you’re scratching your head going, “Gee, I don’t know what happened, Coach.” I mean, this is like, “Hello, Captain Obvious!” This is so fucking obvious. You just can’t behave this way and think that things are going to progress. You should know better.

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