Yet Another Toxic Drama Trip Through Crazy Town

How to spot women who are toxic and full of drama to avoid a trip through crazy town.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares an email update since his last email newsletter titled, Toxic Drama: A Trip Through Crazy Town. He didn’t learn his lesson with the first nutcase he dated and is now in the process of disengaging from yet another toxic lying manipulative woman who constantly invites attention from other men, some of which she is most likely sleeping with. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Yet Another Toxic Drama Trip Through Crazy Town.”

Well, this particular email is from a viewer who, I guess it has been 2 or 3 years now, he sent an email in the past, and that last doozy was “Toxic Drama: A Trip Through Crazy Town.” So he got involved with a girl, in that previous email, that was just hell on wheels. And apparently, I guess he just did not have enough. And so he signed up for a second, helping with somebody new. It just brings to mind if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll continue to get what you’ve always got.

And so if you keep fishing in the same holes or the same places, and you keep catching the same kinds of undesirable fish, well, obviously it’s your approach. However, what we notice here is that there’s lots of red flags right off the bat and he continues to ignore them. So, I mean, this guy’s obviously struggling with projecting his fantasy on the girl that he likes, but completely ignoring all signs that she’s just not a good person. She has low character.

I mean, we can sit here and go through all these and go like, what are you thinking, bro? But it just goes to show when somebody’s emotions are engaged. And you know, I learned this a long, long time ago, back in sales, that people make their decisions based upon their emotions. And then they use logic and reason to justify their decisions. And so even in this case, this guy sees these glaring, obvious red flags, but because his emotions are engaged, he’s just blinded because he’s only paying attention to his interest in her, and ignoring the fact that she just doesn’t live up to the fantasy that he’s projecting onto her.

So it’s a good email to see what you should be looking for, to avoid, so you can learn from this guy’s mistakes so you can avoid it. Because women like this are fuck buddies, friends with benefits, sex playmate, that’s it. You shouldn’t be trying to get into a relationship with somebody like this. Especially when the signs are so obvious.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

I wrote you almost three years ago and you reviewed my letter in the video “Toxic Drama: A Trip Through Crazy Town.”

It’s one of those headlines and one of those emails, I’m pretty sure he actually “A Trip Through Crazy Town”, I think, was the original subject line in his email. And it was a good subject line because the email was good, but he didn’t learn his lesson. So he is up for round two.

Well, I made one more trip and this one showed me I have some more internal work to do before getting into another relationship. The time stamp of 1:02 – 3:15 from your recent video “Never Get Caught Up In Her Changing Emotions or Feelings” broke the spell over me in this current shit show.

Here are the signs:

Hiding Phone, being secretive, going with her everywhere including bathroom, face down around me, keeps screen black to hide notifications.

If you’re hanging out and you’re hooking up. And a woman’s very secretive, she’s on her phone, always hiding it from you. You have to assume that you’re not the only guy, and you probably should be practicing safe sex. That should be common sense. But remember, we project our fantasy. And then we start looking for reasons to justify why that person matches up with our fantasy.

And we’ll often ignore things that are glaringly obvious, like a scotoma. Where you can see it but your brain says, eh. And completely ignores it, because your belief is so strong that reality is different than it actually is. You convince yourself that what is clearly there and other people can see is just simply not. You just must be imagining things.

Called me the nickname of someone she claims she doesn’t know.

So she can’t even keep the guy straight. And she uses one of her pet names for another dude for him.

I know she knows this person and more than likely talking to and messing with him. Stories about her past change every time we talk about it.

Character is destiny. You have to evaluate the people that come into your life. And somebody who, when she continues to retell a story, the stories are always different. That’s a sign she’s being deceptive and not being truthful. Because if you’re being truthful, the truth comes out and it sounds the same pretty much all the time.

Story is never consistent i.e. she said she was messing around with multiple men before we started being exclusive, then later on changed it to that she wasn’t dating multiple men at a time but when one fizzled out, she moved on to the next.

Again, these are all things that were pretty obvious to him, and he thought, oh yeah, it’s a good idea to become exclusive with her. It’s a bad way to go my man.

Had some work done in her house indicating another man been there but tells me the work she had done was always done.

So she’s gaslighting him. Oh, what you’re seeing is not what you’re actually seeing.

Gaslighted me into thinking I was crazy and something was wrong with my memory.

That’s classic tactic by a narcissist.

I know for a fact the changes she had done in her home and they were done the weekend we were apart.

Again, it’s like when you notice the stories changing and you catch her in lies. That’s not somebody you go, “oh, I’m going to wife her up. I’m going to get into a relationship with her.”

Claims ex boyfriend / friend with benefits / mess around buddy told her to buy an appliance from a major retail store in cash and then put her broken one in it and return it. She did it (a year or so before we met).

I mean, you hear stuff like that and you’re stealing. So you’re getting into a relationship. You stay in a relationship with somebody who openly is committing fraud. Character is destiny.

Had condoms in her overnight bag when we became exclusive and claims that she is lazy and didn’t clean them out from when she was single. Also had some still in her drawer even though we said we wouldn’t use them.

The reality is you’re not her first. Just like, who is it? Um. I can’t remember. Who was the guy that was hooking up with Madonna in the 90’s? Might have been Dennis Rodman, I think, if I’m not mistaken, You guys could fact check me in the comments. But I remember him going, I definitely wasn’t her first.

Recently said to me “my teeth guard no longer works because I have been sucking a lot of dick.” Now she could have meant sucking a lot of my dick but my first instinctual thought was “she’s sucking other men off”.

I mean, all this stuff just seems obvious, right? But again, when you are emotionally hijacked and you’re projecting your fantasy, you’re just going to ignore this and rationalize it away and be tempted to buy her gaslighting, because you want to believe her. You want the fantasy to be real, despite the fact all the evidence to the contrary.

Attributed a bear I bought for her on Valentine’s Day to one she received from a student (she’s a teacher).

Isn’t that lovely? This is one of the people that are teaching your kids. That’s great. Makes a good case for homeschooling.

That stung as she didn’t even care to remember that I bought that for her.

Probably because there’s so many dudes in her life, she just really can’t keep all of you guys straight. Again, this is pretty obvious that you should see these things, but just to continue moving forward and ignoring all the signs.

This one, I know I am a dumb ass for: she has a confirmed STD (herpes) that she claims she caught from her 2^nd husband and takes medication to block the outbreaks.

So I assume probably something like Valtrex or something like that.

My dumb ass was like “ok, as long as you are taking the meds, we are good.” I should have dropped it from there.

Yeah. I mean, if you look at her behavior, it’s like, well, of course she’s got an STD. She’s probably sleeping around left and right, doesn’t even remember half the guys she slept with. And again, isn’t it great? She’s a teacher.

Claims she does not keep in contact or connected to former partners. I found out that she is indeed connected to at least one former sex partner on Facebook.

Yet another lie. Keeps catching her in these lies and he’s like, I can work with this. This ain’t so bad.

Kept in touch with first ex husband (physically abusive towards her) and when I told her I don’t do relationships where exes remain around, she claims she blocked him on Facebook and told him not to call her again. Later on (months), I found out that she didn’t disconnect from him on Facebook.

What did Ronald Reagan say? “Trust but verify.”

Claims she didn’t know how to unfriend him and needed help.

I don’t know how to unfriend somebody. Uh, click the button and click unfriend. Unfollow. It’s. Yeah, yeah. Isn’t a great somebody of this low character is the one teaching your kids. And people wonder why their kids go to school and then graduate college, and they go in conservative and come out Communist, Marxist, Socialists.

Claims she didn’t know how to unfriend him and needed help. She had the nerve to tell me “I am disappointed that you didn’t trust me to do it.”

Probably because you lie about all kinds of other things. If she lies about the little things, she’s probably lying about the big things and lots of things you don’t even know about. Again, this stuff should just be so obvious. And your vetting phase when you see things like this, a girl that’s always got her phone hidden and you’re going, oh yeah, I’m gonna definitely make this girl mine. Yeah, let’s be boyfriend girlfriend. Sounds like somebody that’s real forthcoming and honest, but hey, she’s a teacher. She’s got to be okay.

There is other stuff I observed but tried my best to give her a chance. The sex is good but I stand a risk of getting infected (dumbass me) and there are red flags that indicates other men being in the picture listed above.

Well as the old saying goes, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

My plan for ending this is just to pull all the way back. I’m more into her than she is into me.

There is the problem. You care more about her than she does about you. And so therefore, you’ve given away all of your power. And so, from a leverage perspective, you’re in a weak position of leverage.

And just let the relationship die due to starvation (no attention, time sharing, etc. initiated by me). I can’t believe I allowed this woman to lie and lie and lie and explain those lies away like I did in my previous relationship.

Again, because you were wedded to the fantasy of who you wanted her to be. And it’s absolutely amazing the scotoma that you got going on. Where you just completely ignore it. I mean, those are some obvious red flags. Any one of which should have precluded you from saying, oh yeah, let’s be boyfriend girlfriend now.

I have been looking and seeking for a way out and the box kept pulling me back in.

Well, if you have no self control, that’s on you.

The segment of your video indicated above broke the spell. I know what I have to do. Any feedback appreciated.

It’s like Mr. Captain Save-A-Hoe to the rescue. So you attracted somebody who was pretty much almost exactly identical to your ex, and you completely ignored all the signs. That is on you. And this is part of growing up and maturing as a man is learning to recognize when it’s a short term girl. You know, because again, there’s some girls for fucking and fun. And there’s other girls that are more relationship oriented.

I wanted to share just in case someone else is going through something similar or just want to provide other insight.

I did speak with a therapist about this, and she said it appears that she is operating out of trauma (sexual, etc. which she has) and that you can’t save her.

Yeah, he’s like Mr. White Knight, Captain Save-A-Hoe. I got Corey’s book. I’m gonna fix her now. I mean, these things became so obvious. And you should have just kept it moving. That’s on you.

And she doesn’t sound like someone that is healthy and ready for a relationship with you.

Yep. I totally agree with your therapist. She’s spot on. You want easy going, easy to get along with, communicates well, comes from a good family. Loves her mom. Loves her dad. Parents have a good relationship. Dad’s the head of the household. He actually leads. He’s not some beta male that gets walked all over by the wife or the other daughters, or the particular woman that you’re dating. Talking about an actual good, healthy relationship.

I know I have to work on myself, my confidence and overall wellbeing. This is probably the bottom of the barrel that I attracted and it’s playing with fire, literally, being that she has herpes. The question I am asking myself is “how am I seeing myself to allow me to accept such a low integrity, low character person with a confirmed incurable disease in my life?” Yup, got some internal work to do.

Would you please review this one for non-members? Not a member yet.

Thanks Coach.

Bob

Yeah. You can’t make good wine from bad grapes. And this woman was bad grapes from the beginning, and you just ignored it. So typically, I would say you probably should read up on codependency. Maybe if you had somebody in your family that had a drug or an alcohol problem or some mental health issues, whatever, and you were constantly covering for that person. Then you’re just going to be emotionally conditioned and anchored to trying to save somebody, because you became conditioned to do that in childhood.

Again, that would be a good thing to talk with your therapist about, and work those things out, and work through it. Because it’s like the signs are so obvious that she’s not a good person to date. And yet you’re proceeding anyways with trying to lock her down. And I would suspect, probably because something in your past that again, a good therapist can help you with that.

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