I’m not perfect, but I try to be healthy 80% of the time. When it comes to my goals, I do what I need to do 80% of the time. I don’t blame myself or beat myself up that much anymore. However, i still catch myself doing it from time to time. Did you know that you are perfect just the way you are? You are whole, perfect and complete just the way God created you. Nothing is lacking. God had a purpose in mind when he designed you the way he did. “There is no imperfection, you’ve only ever done what you were meant to do.”-Panache Desai.
In my previous article “The Real Battle Is Won In The Mind” I talk about the mindset a Navy SEAL has towards working on his own weaknesses. Here’s the money quote from the book “Lone Survivor”:
“the real battle is won in the mind, its won buy guys who understand their area of weakness, who sit and think about it, plotting and planning to improve. Attending to the detail, work on their weaknesses and overcome them, because they can.” Marcus Luttrell “Lone Survivor”.
I was unlucky enough to inherit my mothers weak skin. Most of my life I have dealt with skin rashes and other skin problems. I have genetic skin weaknesses. When I don’t eat healthy enough, it shows up in my skin. If I eat tons of sugar for extended periods of time, I will get a rash that can take me several months of eating healthy 95% of the time to get rid of it.
When I waited tables I got “bar rot” on my hands and fingers. It was like a rash that does not go away. Always puss blisters under the skin, skin drying out, cracking, oozing puss, etc. It was no fun at all. I went to a dermatologist who prescribed an ointment that had a steroid that makes the skin grow. My skin has a genetic weakness that makes it susceptible to the breakdown of the outer layer of the skins moisture barrier.
Over the years as I have learned about health, how our bodies work, the proper alkaline based diet, cleansing and detoxification, etc. I have eliminated the common cold, rashes, headaches, etc. as symptoms I no longer have to suffer from.
But what I have learned has also taught me that, what put me in a dis-eased state in the first place, was me not being balanced in my health and exercise. I got a skin cancer (basil cell carcinoma) and cured it with 95% alkalinity after not taking too good of care of my body.
The best balance between taking care of your body, chasing your dreams, etc. is to try to spend or work up to spending at least 80% of your time working on your dreams, being focused, being healthy, exercising, etc. Pollute your body, be lazy, or be a jerk-off 20% of the time.
As you can see I am not perfect. Just like you, I am striving to do and be my best. Its a daily activity and struggle. Never put someone on a pedestal who you think has it better or who you think is luckier than you. They are struggling just as much as you are. That’s what I’ve learned over the years. Everyone’s just doing the best they can with where they are at in life.
Look at Tony Robbins and his wife Sage. When I became a platinum partner of his and hung out with him and his top trainers and friends, I realized he was just as fucked up as everyone else. We talked about Bill Clinton. Yep, Mr. “I did not have sexual relations with that woman… Monica Lewinski!” himself. This guy was the most powerful man in the world? Tony shared his experience coaching and working with Bill during his presidency.
Another friend of mine who is a very successful retired CEO, knew Bill personally. They both confirmed what I always thought about Bill. What a jerk off. I could definitely do a better job of leading this country. Anybody could. Bills fucked up. So is Hillary. Hillary acts more like a man than she does a woman. Both of them look like they are totally miserable. Look at the bags under their eyes. So sad. A marriage of convenience and power. These two lie to themselves, each other and everyone else. Their marriage was over decades ago. These are the types of people who lead the governments of the world. They are clueless in their own personal relationships and yet we trust them to try and have good honorable relationships with other ruling elite who have different religions, cultural norms and backgrounds? Not gonna happen. What do we have now? A bunch of back-biting, glad-handling and back-room deals where they constantly fuck each other over for a bigger percentage, short term alliances, power, and paying back their cronies.
What about Tony Robbins? What’s he like in person? Tony eats like shit most of the time (at least he did then). He was out of shape. He was definitely not walking the talk. You know what I thought? Just like Tony’s mentor Jim Rohn and who he largely based his business model on once said… “follow what I teach, but don’t follow me too closely.”
What did I think of Tony and Sage after hanging out with them for a year? Tony is shallow, somewhat in-authentic and mostly focused on doing whats best for Tony. He does not practice what he preaches. He thinks his company is shit. He personally shared this with me and several others at dinner one night. Why? Its not his primary focus anymore. These days, he’s really into influencing leaders around the world.
I think Tony and Sage bullshit themselves just as much, if not more, than the rest of us do. Everybody lies to themselves so they don’t feel bad about not doing what they know they need to do. Its when you really have to PAY ATTENTION and STEP UP! However, you are where you are. We’re all doing the best we can with where we’re at in life.
One of my clients bullshits himself a lot. His problem is he feels guilty when he fucks around. He should. He fucks off 80% of the time and does what he’s supposed to 20% of the time. He just needs to do more and make a real sincere effort to work towards incrementally move his life and actions towards the magic number of doing the right thing 80% of the time.
When things finally start to come together on your dreams and goals, you figure out your business model if you are an entrepreneur, you finally get your degree, get drafted into the NFL, etc. things can happen very fast. When you get into the flow and start to build momentum, you see things really coming together. Where as months before, cash-flow was a trickle, but now its a steady stream.
If you are a musician and your songwriting really starts to take off after several years of hard work, and after you go thru dozens of other musicians to find the right ones to gel into a good band… you really get into playing and enjoying it. You then add other pieces. The new pieces seem to come faster and fit better. You can start to taste and feel the success. Everyone else can too.
A friend of mine who is a musician added a harmonica after he got good at writing and playing guitar. Then he added a cellist. He hears and imagines the possibilities in his mind. Then he works to meet the people to help him make the band and songs in his dreams a reality. Its a process. When he first started, everyone laughed at him. He said… “within 3 years I am going to teach myself to play guitar and support myself 100% off of making and performing music.” The guy pulled it off. He had a burning desire. A few years later he was playing with Joe Cocker, BB King, Blackhawk, Pure Prairie League, Leon Russell, and many others.
So if you are beating yourself up too much, you just need to stop taking yourself so God damn seriously. It’s ok. You’re just doing the best that you can like me, and every other person with where they are at in life. If you can only manage to do what you need to do 20% of the time right now, that’s okay. You don’t have to be great to start… but, you have to start… to be great. Just do the best at you can and try to get a little better every day.
Once you admit your weaknesses, just try to get a little better and improve every day. See things as they are, but not worse than they are, or better than they are. That’s all there is to it. If you only managed to spend 13% of your time last week towards creating the life you want, that’s ok. Just try to improve to spending 14% of your time this week. You make slow steady progress towards your goals that way. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Everyone is just trying to get better. That’s all I do. I’m not better or more successful than you or anyone else because I’m any more special than you. I am the success I am because I have accepted my lot and suffer though the things that suck. As I struggled to figure out how to bring my coaching gifts to the world and figure out my business model, I ended up waiting tables in my 30’s after being on tv, making more money than I could spend and living in a million dollar house. It took four years to figure out my business model and make it a success. I went from 500k to zip, and then it took me 4 years of living off savings to figure out how to profitably and successfully bring my gifts to the world.
When I started, I was certain it would only take me two years to figure out my business model and live off it’s income. I was overly optimistic. My plan was bad, my idea sound. Besides, there’s no such thing as a bad idea… only bad plans. It took me 4 years. I got down to my last 30k and said that’s it. I took a part time job supplementing my income while I built, researched and experimented with how to figure out my business model. At times I fucking hated it. It seemed like it was hopeless at times. When months and years go by and you still don’t have a working business model, its a challenge to stay motivated and focused. I was so mad and pissed that it took me longer that I expected, and I had to give up so much to do what I loved and envisioned. I set out the change world. I simply had no idea how to carry it out. It takes time to figure out anything that is unknown or to change any bad or self destructive habit that is keeping you from the life or things you really want in life.
Sometimes I contemplate quitting. Sometimes I ask myself if its worth it. Every company I’ve owned and every job I’ve had, I’ve contemplated quitting. Sometimes daily. But quitting means the death of my personal freedom. I have no desire to do anything else other than what I am now. That’s the importance of choosing emotionally compelling goals. Your passion for them keeps you moving forward when it looks like you are only wasting your time and money on your dreams. You got to start working day by day, minute by minute, week by week, month by month, year after year, decade after decade, etc. to make your life what you ultimately want. We tend to overestimate what we can do in a year, but UNDERESTIMATE what we can accomplish in a decade.
As I said earlier, God had a purpose in mind when he designed you. He made you with certain likes and tendencies already built in. You honor him by honoring yourself and what you feel in your heart. Go chase it. But never interfere with another’s free will. Don’t be attached to how you think things need to be as you chase your dreams. It will ultimately be what you want, but once you complete it you will realize the journey was not the way you thought it would be. It also won’t work or look like you thought it would in the beginning. Why? You have unknown and unrealized concepts of your self that are sometimes not empowering, uplifting or true belief’s about yourself and the way the world is. As you progress on your journey, the limiting beliefs and invalid constructs of your mind will slowly dissolve and fall away as you become aware of them and their falsehood. Plus, your challenges will humble you and cause you to let go of the things that no longer serve you. As they fall away you realize what a silly fool you acted like at times as I discussed in the jokes on you. Its really tough at times.
Strive to one day be able to say, feel and know in your heart, that you are congruent with the statement that you are healthy and strive towards your goals and dreams in your life 80% of the time. As you get closer to that number. You will have more and more of the things you feel are lacking in your life now. Those washboard abs, that hot chick (or man of your dreams if you are a woman), the Harley, million dollar business, mansion, private jet, great friends, etc. Whatever it is that you are striving for in your life. As you progress from where ever you are right now, even if you believe you only efficiently spend your time doing what you love 1% of the time, keep at it. Persist without exception. The closer you get to 80% and beyond, the happier, wealthier, peaceful, relaxed, fulfilled, humble and generous you will be.
Thomas Jefferson, one of America’s Founding Fathers once said… “Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny, and oppression of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.” That’s definitely something to think about.
Guess what? The president of the United States or anyone else you look up to or who you believe is better than you, is just as fucked up as the rest of us. Before I got to know Tony and Sage personally, I had them on a pedestal. I bought the public image, plus his stuff works and I had no reason to doubt him personally. However, I learned that they are just as much of a mess as everyone else is. Sage’s sister is a crack head (Tony and Sage had prepared their family members for her eventually ODing-I don’t know if she ever made it).
Shit happens to everyone. Life’s events only have the meanings you give them. We cant always change our circumstances, but we can always change what it means to us.
I’ve got a friend who got blown up in Iraq in 2006 and spent a year and half in Walter Reed Medical Center recovering. He still has debilitating injuries, lost an eye and suffered traumatic brain injuries. He’s a great guy. Shit happens. I had a high school buddy who was a Navy SEAL who was killed in a training accident only months after I saw him last. He’s been dead for 20 years. He was the kindest guy. It was a shock.
My uncle lived thru the hell of being a Marine in Vietnam. He was only one of two guys who made it back from his unit. Most everybody else was dead or sent home too severely wounded to return to duty. Marcus Luttrell lost his best friends in Afghanistan because of bullshit ROEs (rules of engagement). He watched helplessly as 18 of his brothers in arms burned to death and tumbled down the mountain falling out of the back of their chopper that was brought down my a Taliban RPG (rocket propelled grenade). It was the largest single loss of special forces troops in one operation in the history of special forces. He was the lone survivor.
Life is dangerous… wear a helmet 🙂 You ain’t gettin out of here alive. Might as well cut yourself some fucking slack and live your life the way you want to. If you can’t do that right now, at least try to spend a little more each week changing careers, going back to school, starting that business you’ve always wanted, asking that girl out, and FUCKING FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT!
I love what Dr. Wayne Dyer says… “inside every one of us is a Rocky.” Dream big. Work hard and play hard. Strive to be healthy and balanced 80% of the time. Strive to be a Rocky and follow your dreams… and most importantly… what your heart tells you to do. Be Great!
This was the only version of the original theme song “Gonna Fly Now” from the movie Rocky that I could find on YouTube.com that had embedding enabled so I could post it here for your enjoyment. From the video description of this Philadelphia outdoor public video presentation that has Rocky’s (Sly Stalone) training scene from the movie “Rocky”… “Scene from Rocky at the stairs of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Recorded on September 8, 2006 to commemorate the unveiling of the Rocky statue at its new permanent location.” It will bring tears to your eyes when the camera pans back as the fans start to cheer for Rocky. Very inspirational MUST SEE video. Watch it all the way to the end and then finish reading the rest of this article 🙂
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“I do not think that there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature.” – John D. Rockefeller