Indifference Makes The Difference With Women

Comments

1. Carter Jamie says

   February 11, 2015 at 10:29 pm

   Hey Corey!
   I’ve been “studying” your material for 2 months give or take. I have to say that your material is golden! I watched many of the videos in your “Fundamentals” playlist on Youtube. I have to say I was a little skeptical at first, but after watching a few videos I realized you’re the real deal. I recently bought your book and I am 70 pages in and it is my first read through. I take notes on a post-it and put it on the top of pages I feel are important. You taught me how to be more social and just start conversations with anyone. Not to sound cocky, but I was always good at acting confident around people. I usually talk to girls in social settings, but the problem is I am a sophomore in high school (just about to turn 16 in April) and most girls my age seem really uncomfortable when I go to talk to them. Sure it works sometimes, but sometimes there are those few who eventually get turned off or show no interest whatsoever (ironic because I just read the line in your book “only a few girls are going to show a high level of interest”). I realized that thanks to you and I have been refining on how to not be a “pleaser” or “needy” and to raise a girl’s level of attraction through indifference. Another problem I have is too much texting, but in all fairness I only have 2 nights a week (Saturday and Friday) where I can hangout because of school and crew. Girls my age act like me talking to them is some foreign concept that they never even thought of. I am 6’2 and look older than most 16 year olds so I tend to attract older women, but they get turned off when they find out I am 16 (Not saying I ever lied about my age, but I MAY have done it once or twice). Do you have any tips for me that I can use to attract more women my age, and also how should I go about talking to a girl when I’m not with them because I don’t see them during the weekdays for I go to an all boys school. I think that I should call/text them, make a definite date, and then not text until the day before the date. I just wanted some criticism from a professional on that plan.
   Best Regards,
   Carter Jamie

   Reply

2. nick says

   August 24, 2015 at 4:48 pm

   So act as if your talking to a regular buddy basically without of course treating her like a buddy.
   Meaning not swearing like you would normally with a guy friend etc…. But talk to her as if you would normally talk.
   Am i getting this correctly ? Also don’t go out of your way to talk to someone.

   Reply

3. Leverage Fracking Chimp says

   June 13, 2017 at 9:38 pm

   Woman here. I’d be cautious of teaching men “indifference makes the difference”. It needs a couple of disclaimers. One, if the woman is avoidant, or introverted, a man’s indifference will make her indifferent, and she will compete to the death to out-indifference him: and she usually will win, because women are not baited into “the game” by need of sex the way men are. We simply tune you out and go on with our lives. Then we watch you drift back and flick out breadcrumbs to try to bring us back. The breadcrumbs only work on two kinds of women: anxious and clingy, or fat and/or ugly. The rest of us won’t respond.

   Two, indifference from a man only works when the man is handsome and/or extraordinary. Even then, an avoidant woman, or a supermodel besieged by men of all quality levels, won’t jump for the bait like this. Again, only anxious, needy, clingy, fat, or ugly women respond to male indifference with heightened attention and attraction. The rest of us won’t care. We just move on to the next. But to close the indifference vs. he’s-not-extraordinary factor discussion, unless the man is the kind you guys like to call Chad Thundercock, indifference makes us contemptuous and competitive and out to out-ignore you. It’s playing a woman’s game against a woman. You won’t win.

   Men are best off just being men — stoic, strong, centered, focused on your work and achievement, and above feminine games. Game is just that: game, as in a game being played; being indirect, coy, subtle, seductive. You men need to stop being these things because they’re effeminate. And we can tell when you’re doing it. The only stronger sexual turnoff is making baby sounds or behaving like a child. Women are less interested in young or immature partners than men are, and because we birth and raise young, and specifically young boys, from newborn to 18, we’re more sensitive to immature male behavior than men are to immature female. It flicks on a switch that says “this is my son” instead of “this is a viable male partner who can help create a son”. Our pussies shrivel on contact basically, at the sight of it. No woman wants to have sex with her son.

   Similarly none of us except lesbians like to have sex with other women; so unless you’d like to attract only lesbians or bisexual women transitioning towards lesbianism – which will result in a dead bedroom then catching her in the act with her best female friend – behave like men and leave all this feminine game playing behind. Indifference is a jack in the deck of female game playing. We women are born knowing how many points that card has, and we’re all raised practicing it. We can tell when men try to use it. Our response is “Daw, isn’t that cute, he’s trying to outsmart and outwoman us.”

   Pause.

   “DESTROY him.”

   The above is meant out of kindness and hopefully to help men master themselves and gain confidence, sex and women. Maybe it’ll be taken in the spirit intended, let’s hope so. Signed, an avoidant and beautiful woman, who became avoidant because too many men bugged the hell out of me and finally drove me off the edge into becoming a loner to get some peace. Gentlemen, unless you are a rock star or major celebrity, don’t dare test indifference because you’ll get it. The Average Effing Chump has got no chance at using indifference; even against a fat girl.

   Unless she is the kind of clingy psycho you DON’T want, she’ll smirk at you and just walk away.

   Reply

   • Walter says

     January 7, 2019 at 12:56 am

     I think Corey made it clear in the book that the emphasis is when there is a high level of attraction for indiffrence to work.

     Reply

   • erc says

     March 6, 2019 at 12:31 pm

     If “indifference” is something “women have mastered” it is highly childish. Neither male nor female should have to practice indifference. If either one is, they are childish. Most men don’t “love the chase”. Who wants to go fishing and not catch anything? Who wants to work for a promotion and not get it? It is not “the chase” that is the fun part at all EXCEPT WHEN IT IS CLEAR BOTH PEOPLE LIKE EACHOTHER and that is not a chase but a wonderfully shared hopeful experience. As a man and having talked to many of my guy friends, guys HATE GAMES. Nobody likes childish “indifference” games. Girls play “indifferent” for no other reason than they are AFRAID to be rejected. If a guy or girl really likes another person and feels the other person might be playing a stupid game, they should ask how that person really feels about them and not assume or guess. You might not like the answer you get but at least you won’t be lost in limbo trying to childishly out “indifference” each other. How childish.

     Reply

   • Rendy says

     August 8, 2021 at 8:07 pm

     I think you might missunderstood what Corey meant by being indifferent. It is not being indifferent by playing games and acting lor pretending like they are not interested when they are actually intersted, but rather being (like you said yourself), “Men are best off just being men — stoic, strong, centered, focused on your work and achievement, and above feminine games.” He meant that men should be genuinely act if they like a woman but not becoming OVERLY obssessed, overly pursue, becoming an overly push over just to please woman. Again you said it yourself that you became avoidant because too many men bugged the hell out of you and finally drove you off the edge into becoming a loner to get some peace.

     That exactly what 3% men who undestand women would offer you by being indifferent (meaning being stoic, strong, centered and focused to improve themselves, and focused to their life’s work and goals) and NOT becoming overly obssessed, possesive, unglued, over pleasing, overly available to keep bugging when they see a beautiful woman. They would be strong and remain centered being themselves, unswayed by a woman beauty, like yourself, but would still approach you, initiate contact, understand attraction ( know and understand whether the woman is attracted or interested to them and know what to do whether the woman is reciprocating, interested or not), and act accordingly, including knowing when to leave the woman alone if she has no interest.

     Being indifferent in the context of a character that being strong, stoic, centered, and focused is more of a result of a strong mindset, values, and beliefs that requires a lot of contemplating, understanding of oneself, working one oneself, admitting and acknowledging one weakness and improving oneself, lots of practice by meeting a lot of women, learning to understand woman’s character, then keep repeating the process. It does takes a lot of work, which is why women highly values such a man. I hope this helps you understand better what Corey meant by being indifferent, and hopefully, you would take time to look deeper into what Corey said. You will miss the gem inside the book if you only judge the book by its cover,

     Reply

4. Emma says

   February 13, 2018 at 7:47 am

   Yes I agree with above. As a woman I read this and thought, seriously WTF? Why on earth would I or any other woman I know be bothered by an indifferent guy? For what possible purpose? There are thousands upon thousands of brilliant, handsome, interesting and friendly guys out there, with enough self-esteem to not need to play childish head games. So why would we take the slightest notice of a guy who ignored us?

   Reply

   • Girijarasa says

     July 3, 2018 at 6:06 am

     There is substance in the comments of the readers to this writing and that is why I feel like voicing myself. I would like to deal with this subject purely from a philosophical point of view.

     Men need to first be aware of exactly what they are looking for in life before desiring a women. What I say here may sound absurd to many but as men, we are using our so called “testosterone drive” to basically live a crash existence.
     If we wanna to discuss ‘men’ then first we need to be one. We cannot be ‘little boys’ and consider ourselves to be “men wanting women.”
     The fact of the matter is, men are taking far to long to grow up and most actually never do really grow up. Here is some truth: just because you are 40 and your beard is graying doesn’t make you a man.
     The men from the movies, our writer is using to exemplify, are merely frictional. In real life we don’t see such men because to be acting at a level where you can be indifferent to a woman ;let alone to a beautiful one, is simply not possible.
     Even if a man is super irresistible, he won’t be able to control the urge to charm a woman so beautiful.
     SO when can man really reach a stage of being “stoic and all manly?”: Possibly never. Unless we begin to question ourselves why are we chasing women so hard, what are we trying to achieve by trying to be a charmer. The question should be “Do I even need her in the first place?” rather than “How to I go about nailing her: will indifference work? Or should I try some other way?”
     Most people like to think and believe in a gender specific way like, “Oh I am woman so I already have these qualities aplenty or Oh I am a man so I need to just fulfill my desire to bed these pretty lasses.” But in reality we are human beings with individual needs and characters which aren’t gender specific. We need to understand that we are truly complicated beings, our needs and inclinations are so far-fetched and beyond just dating and mating.

     When you tell a man to act cocky and indifferent and he will earn his brownie points to “rifle her loins” you are basically avoiding life’s fundamentals and overloading the poor chap with sheer perplexity. What will a guy who is just about to break his own balls understand of such of notions that hollers “Be indifferent and you will get that girl” or “Just be who you can be and live forever.”
     We need an empathetic society. We need to strive to build one. Empathy begins with you trying to know yourself first. Start by trying to uncover yourself. Try to put your positive qualities together and built an image of yourself that feels good to you. Ask yourself what you truly desire and more importantly why you think you desire what you are desiring.
     A lot of time we don’t actually want what we are desiring so hopelessly. It is a fact. Try it out. Many times you are hungry and you think you so what to devour that burger but then you ask yourself do you really want to eat that burger and the answer is a big “NO”.
     Do I really want that pretty girl? Answer again could be a huge “Noooo.”
     May be you have misplaced you priorities so badly that a pretty face from the opposite sex feels like all the right reason to cut off all the other things that could make you feel equally good if not even better.
     I had a long phase when I felt so hopelessly attracted to beautiful women and in the end I met a girl who I needed and wanted. She wasn’t pretty for the whole world but she lit up my world so so prettily. And that was everything. We not together anymore but what i Know now I use it to live an independent life, a life where I question everything and the fact that I dare to question makes such a huge difference that it just makes my life a lot more easy.
     Of course it comes and gets better with practice.

     Much love and may you journey be fruitful

     Reply

   • erc says

     March 6, 2019 at 12:38 pm

     If there are thousands upon thousands of wonderful guys why are you and so many women single and unhappy? My advice to women is stop believing “men love the chase”, most don’t. Men HATE GAMES. Men move on faster than women because they assume the games will outweigh the gain. If a women is waiting for a man to pine for her so she can gain some self worth it probably won’t go well. A man wants a team player, he wants to know you will match his effort. If you don’t, he will assume you are not that interested and the work will outweigh the gain. By “man”, I mean somebody who knows what they want and not a boy playing games.

     Reply

5. Aliomar says

   April 21, 2020 at 5:20 pm

   Erc
   A woman canbe wrong and man too but not all
   Some people are good enough
   Some are normal and some people bad
   All people are diffirent level

   Reply

6. Bill Kanter says

   May 27, 2022 at 12:20 pm

   Indifference vs demanding accountability for disrespect – There appears to
   be some controversy here. The man who simply accepts a woman’s disrespectful behavior as being her “freedom” to be herself may get hit with
   an accusation of “lacking self-respect” while at the same time being a “push-over.” Conversely, if he demands she account for her lack of respect as being “perturbed, weak, whiney etc.” is caught in a double-bind. You can’t have it both ways. The image of a tough, resilient centered guy who never ever reacts
   emotionally is not real – most men are more than one-dimensional. We ARE human and do have things we feel strongly about. That does NOT make us weak or clingy. It makes us real. Somewhere there is a happy medium where we can be who we really are, not a defined image of a superhero dedicated to protect a woman regardless of how messed up she may be without ever blinking an eye. To be that would be a machine
   that would also turn some women off, the kind who deliberately kick a man in the balls and then wonder why he can’t walk straight. These kinds of women have nothing whatsoever to recommend them and need to be
   dropped immediately. They are their own worst enemies.

   Reply

7. Q Ortiz says

   July 9, 2024 at 1:12 pm

   I see some controversy in the comments of this one. haha

   Maintain your energy.

   Reply