How being willing to change everything about your life can help you to get unstuck, become much happier and reach your full potential.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story update from the viewer whose email I answered in my previous video coaching newsletter titled, “Non-Action Spiritual Attraction.” He shares how things are going great with his girlfriend now after implementing what I teach, and that they just had their ten-month anniversary.
He also shares how things got really bad in his lucrative career for a short period of time, but since he was willing to change everything about his life, he has had some big “ah-ha” moments that have caused him to leave his job and embrace his true calling. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I hope you’re well. I wanted to give you an update since my last email, which you featured in your video “Non-Action Spiritual Attraction.” And thank you for doing that, by the way!
Well since then, things got really bad, then out of this world awesome! I had been working for an organization for the last ten years in the field I had wanted to work in since I was a child and which I went to school for. The last couple of years working there, however, things got bad. The work environment became incredibly toxic to the point that co-workers were having huge blowouts in the office, and our supervisor whose office was next to ours did nothing.
(There are a lot of people in positions of leadership and management that are fucking horrible leaders and managers.)
I started to become bitter and resentful. I hated who I was becoming, and I realized I was selling my soul and integrity for a paycheck.
(You came to a realization that you were getting up every day, and you didn’t have the same enthusiasm for your job. Maybe it was just the company you were working at, and you should go do something else, maybe make a lateral move or start looking for other companies to work for that have a better culture. Or maybe you just didn’t enjoy the work anymore.
There will be times in your life where you love what you’re doing. Then years down the road, you’re like, alright, what’s the next challenge? Sometimes it’s just changing employers, because a different employer can offer you more opportunity for growth, help you refine and improve your skills and learn things you didn’t know before. Because over the course of life, the more you acquire skills, knowledge, your talents, the more value you can personally add to the organization you go to work for. And the more value you can add, the more money and compensation you can get. The same thing if you decide to become an entrepreneur. It’s all directly proportional to the amount of value you add.)
I was making a disgusting amount of money, but what good was it if I had to betray my personal values and integrity for it?
(You get up every day and you feel that feeling. The longer you tolerate it and put up with it, it’s not so easy to just pull the plug and go do something else. A lot of people unfortunately just stay in that, and eventually their dreams die. And once your dreams die, you start to lose hope. Once you lose hope, you don’t take care of yourself as well. You’re not as inclined to work out, to eat healthy or to boot toxic people out of your life. Your life just becomes a slow walk to the grave.)
I no longer believed in what I did, and knew I couldn’t go on like this.
(Yes, because the longer you ignore it, the more painful, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically, it actually becomes.)
How can I ever be a role model for my future children of what integrity is if I sell mine a piece at a time each week?
I was forced off work earlier this year for 6 weeks due to an injury. After about three weeks, I was on a date with my girlfriend. Yes, the same one from the first video. We just had our 10-month anniversary, and it’s going great thanks you to you, Coach!
(Well thank yourself, because you did the work. Maybe I just kind of showed you the way, showed you which doors to open, which landmines to avoid. That all comes down to knowledge and experience. That’s my knowledge and expertise I’ve learned the hard way, and from others that I’ve learned, so I can share with you, and you can avoid all that shit. You don’t have to go figure out that stuff on your own.)
I realized I had never felt so peaceful, optimistic and well rested.
(You were out of that toxic, negative environment.)
I knew it had been because I was away from my work environment. At that moment, I knew what I had to do.
I had spent the last 8 years involved in volunteer crisis work, which I got into after losing my dad to suicide when I was 19.
(It sucks when there’s something wrong with someone you love and care about, and there’s nothing you can do to help them.)
His suicide sent me into a tailspin to the point that I lived in depression and anxiety for years. Eventually, with the help of a coach and spiritual advisor, I was able to break out of this.
(What happened was, you developed a story that you told yourself about what your father’s suicide meant to you. The stories that we tell ourselves prevent most people from ever reaching their full potential. Because when you have a story and you convince yourself of it, it doesn’t matter what you experience in the outside world. You’re just simply not going to accept it.)
My crisis work was one of the most healing things I had ever done for myself, which I started doing after I got myself right emotionally.
(I actually did an article and video about something Tom Brady did after he had a big loss called, “Getting Yourself Right Emotionally.”)
This was a huge passion for me, helping people in the darkest moments of their lives.
(That’s the beauty of it, because you’ve been through it. You know what going through a really dark moment of your life is like because you lost your father to suicide. Those wounds and those difficult challenges, once you overcome them and you figure a way out, then you can help others who are where you used to be, which is basically what I do now for a living.
I spent my whole life learning things, taking action and getting to the place where I have full control over my time and how I spend it. There’s nothing more freeing than being able to spend your life in your own way. Most people in this world don’t get to do that. They’re a slave to their paycheck.)
I spent many nights on calls with people who lost loved ones. Often times, the deceased were younger people who died from suicide, car crashes, or undiagnosed illnesses. Every call I attended made me appreciate life just a little bit more.
(No matter how bad you think you’ve got it in life, somebody has it way worse. When somebody who thinks they’ve got it really bad hears how somebody else had it really bad, worse than they have it, and yet they came through it okay, it gives them the courage that they can get through it as well. We’re all helping each other. Edgar Cayce said, “You’ll not be in Heaven if you’re not leaning on the arm of someone you have helped.” Pretty powerful.)
I savored the good times, just a little bit more. I soon realized that my mental health and my well-being were worth way more than what I was selling it for. I realized this year that life had taken a turn for me when I stopped focusing on adding value to the lives of others, and instead became more selfish and self-centered.
(As I’ve talked about before with the six human needs, the sixth need is contribution. When you focus on contributing to other people’s lives, you actually fulfill the other five human needs: certainty, variety, connection, significance and growth. As you help others, you grow yourself.)
So a few months ago, I quit my job, and sold my house. I was terrified, but I have never felt so sure of what I had to do.(I’ve done this in my life, and it’s scary. I never recommend just jumping and quitting your job, which I have done in the past, because you always want to make sure you’ve got something lined up, especially when you don’t have tons of money in the bank where you can survive for several years without having to work.)
I have started my own coaching company that focuses partly on mental health, suicide prevention, awareness, and advocacy, as well as dating/relationships and coaching new grads and young professionals.
(Good for you dude. Before you can teach, you must know. In other words, once you’ve overcome things yourself, then you know a path that works to get there. Then you’re qualified, based on your life experience and your history, to help people.)
Since quitting 4 months ago, I was recruited for a networking group, a public speaking group and was offered to have my story featured in two separate books, one of which is an international best seller. As soon as I started to take my life back into my hands, the doors started opening again.
(When one door closes, another door opens.)
As David Deida says in “The Way of the Superior Man,” you must be willing to change everything about your life.
(That is so true. I totally agree with that. I have experienced that myself.)
I did well enough on the sale of my home that I will be able to live for the next year/year and a half without full time work.
(There you go. Now you can pick and choose your opportunities. But the ideal situation would be to get yourself into a position where you’re earning enough income to at least pay your bills, so you’re not eating that nest egg away.)I plan to do a ton of traveling, which is a huge passion of mine. I have several trips already booked and planned, and I am currently working on publishing a book, something I have always wanted to do, about a young man who has a breakdown and ends up on a spiritual journey.
(Think of that as your coaching manual you will use to show other people the path. If you need to hire a ghostwriter, the best place I’ve found over the years for that is Guru.com. Put an outline of your project on there, solicit bids and let from people all over the world bid on it.)
I will be incorporating some of my own life lessons into the book of course.
(You should also start a YouTube channel and answer emails, just like I do. And before you do a website, start a blog on Medium.com. When you get in on those social platforms before everyone else does, you start establishing your following. As it increases in followers, you increase with it. Think of yourself as a content creator. You’re going to create videos and articles, and those will be posted on your YouTube channel, your website, your Facebook fan page, your Medium profile and Twitter, because people are going to consume your content how they want. It’ a great way to build a business. You can maybe do a Facebook or Instagram ad campaign. If you’ve got the money, set yourself up with a little budget, even if it’s five bucks a day. You can market to those people and grow your audience a little quicker.)
Corey, I have never felt better in my life. There is so much uncertainty in my life right now, but I am so grateful for it all because life right now is on my terms.
(It feels amazing.)
I think back to the boy I once was, scared of life, depressed and anxious, and I cannot believe how far I have come. I can’t wait to see how far I can take this journey.
(That’s why you’re going to be a great teacher, coach and mentor.)
Part of my success is thanks to you, your coaching videos and your incredibly generous and giving nature. I’ll always be grateful. Thanks Coach.
(Thank you for being awesome, and thanks for all the lives you’re going to impact with your life’s work.)
All the best,
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Life is change. The only constant that you can depend upon is that nothing is going to stay the same forever. What you love doing today for a living, might become boring, dull and monotonous in the future. The more you are willing to follow your heart and explore opportunities as they present themselves, the more life will seem to flow and progress naturally and effortlessly. The less you are willing to follow your heart, the more unpleasant, difficult and challenging life will be. We are spiritual beings having a human experience, not a bunch of mindless meat-bags who exist by accident or chance. Everything in life happens for a spiritual reason. If you don’t believe that, then life and things that happen to you will never seem to make any sense or have any real purpose.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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