From Broken Hearted To Peace & Inner Strength

How to go from broken hearted to having peace & inner strength after a breakup.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss 2 different emails from 2 different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who shares an update after a breakup I discussed in, “I Over Pursued & Chased Her Away. Will She Ever Come Back?” He shares how he finally got over the breakup and has peace and inner strength after suffering tremendously. The 2^nd email is a letter of gratitude from a mom whose son has had his life completely changed for the better after learning and implementing what I teach. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of their emails.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “From Brokenhearted To Peace & Inner Strength.”

Well, I’ve got two different emails I’m going to go through with you today. The first one is from a guy I did a video newsletter about a month or so ago, and that was titled, “I Over Pursued & Chased Her Away. Will She Ever Come Back?” And so he spent the last month or so trying to get over his ex, and he says he finally got to a place after a lot of suffering and a lot of difficulty, where he has peace and inner strength now.

And so it’s just a good email because I’d say probably 80%, 85% of the people that come to me, they just had a breakup, or things are going sideways in a relationship, and they’re trying to turn things around. Obviously they’re not always going to get the girl back. And a lot of cases, they shouldn’t want the girl back. And so for those of you guys that are suffering or going through a difficult time, it’s a good, good email to give you hope.

And then the second email, it’s kind of a success story. Somebody’s mother wrote in, and sent me a really nice email, just a letter of gratitude from his mom, and how much her son has had his life impacted from what he’s learned from me, and how it’s helped him have a really great relationship. And obviously as a mother, or a parent, anybody that’s a parent, dad, mom, the one thing you want for your kids is you want your kids to be better than you are, or you want them to do better than you are.

To be more successful, to have more love, to have a nicer house, have better friends, have a better life, to experience more things, to go further than you did. And so she’s obviously just beaming with pride at how happy her son is. And she wanted to send me a short little thank you note to let me know how much I’ve impacted her son’s life, and indirectly, her life and her family’s life. So let’s go through the first guy’s email.

First Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

I wanted to share a bit of a success story with you. My situationship and I ended things, and you even made a video about it. “I Over Pursued & Chased Her Away. Will She Ever Come Back?” For three months, I was in pain and dealing with depression.

I listened to your videos for more than 8 hours a day, trying to hammer down the mistakes I made besides reading your book a few more times, although I read your book ten times, I analyzed everything, broke down my mistakes, and eventually got to the point where I could practically recite your videos. After those three months, I realized I was exhausting myself, both mentally and emotionally.

Yeah, when you’re in that place, the best thing is to be around other human beings, especially cute girls. Because nothing is going to adjust your attitude, especially if you’re a guy going through a breakup, then to turning around in a grocery store, or going to a friend’s house for a barbecue in the weekend, and then you meet this girl that just takes your breath away. And then you’re going to forget about all your problems and the girl that didn’t love you, or didn’t treat you right.

Or cheated on you and left you, or lost attraction because you screwed up. And it’s just, just like that. Life can change in an instant. And so you just never know. You never know when the next great love of your life is going to come along. You never know when you’re going to meet somebody that’s going to become one of the best friends you’ve ever had and will be in your life for the rest of it. That’s the beauty of life.

I was tired of replaying the same thoughts. But, the upside is that I had effectively brainwashed myself with your teachings.

Well, as Master Yoda said, “You must unlearn what you have learned.” Because you got to stop displaying all kinds of unattractive behavior, because that’s a big part of it. I was doing an email that I published yesterday which was titled, “No Contact & The Power Of Being A Free Agent Again To Re-Attract Her.” It’s for the Paying Members. “No Contact & The Power Of Being A Free Agent Again To Re-Attract Her.” And this particular guy found me a decade ago after a breakup. He spent two years being single and implementing what he read in 3% Man.

And then he spent the last eight years in a relationship with being a stepdad to his girlfriend’s three year old, who’s now 11, and they have a five year old son together. And he got complacent and undisciplined. He stopped taking care of himself. They had different schedules. She worked at night, he worked during the day, and they co-parented and he just stopped dating and courting her and admits he just completely abdicated his leadership role. And in long term relationships that’s what guys do.

They just stop dating and courting their girlfriend or their wife, and they typically don’t make her feel heard and understood. And you know, that guy from yesterday’s Members Only Newsletter, which the title of that one was, “No Contact & The Power Of Being A Free Agent Again To Re-Attract Her.” So he went through that and realized that, I mean, he totally admits that he totally screwed up. He was undisciplined. He stopped doing all the things that made him successful because, I mean, they were together eight years, had a kid together.

I mean, it’s just a lot of things happened, and it’s not something that happens after a couple days or a couple of weeks or even a couple of months. It’s like, I mean, that was eight years in the making. You could be the perfect boyfriend for seven and a half years. And if the last six months you’ve been terrible and let yourself go, then that’s the only thing that really matters is how you’re showing up today to a woman. The most important thing is how you make them feel.

After fully feeling the pain for those three months.

Remember, you got to feel it, to heal it. Cause us guys aren’t usually really good at that. We just try to run from it. We cover it with alcohol or drugs. Or we bury ourselves in work, or we’re always busy doing things, and we never really take the time to be present with our icky feelings and emotions so they can move through our nervous system.

We can feel them, heal them, and then move on and have peace. Because what you resist will persist. But what you look at disappears. And so he just got into his pain. You got to get into it before you can get out of it. Because running from it, it’s like a dark cloud always hanging over your head.

I started picking myself back up. I made an effort to reconnect with friends and engage in activities.

Because that’s another thing guys do in long term relationships. They let their friends go. They stop doing their hobbies and their interests. They get focused solely and exclusively on the girl. And then a few years later, they’re like, “I don’t even recognize myself.” They’ve just completely lost themselves in a relationship trying to please somebody else.

Even though she was still on my mind. Over time, those thoughts became less and less frequent. I changed my mindset by telling myself that she had probably moved on long ago, and that I was just wasting my own life by staying stuck.

Well, women do the breaking up about 75% of the time, and by the time they’re pulling the plug, they have emotionally checked out. And most guys just don’t they don’t see it coming.

The realization that she didn’t care about me anymore, and was living her best life, really helped me move forward.

Because us guys are a little competitive and on some level you’re like, “Man, she’s moving on. And I’m sitting here wallowing in my sorrows and she’s living.” Just like he said, “She’s living her best life. I can’t let her have the last laugh.” Success is the best revenge. Especially her, eventually down the road, seeing me or hearing about me in a relationship with somebody that’s hotter or younger, or better attitude, just a better person overall for us. And if you continue to apply what’s in The Book. Eventually that will be your reality.

The real issue was that I had been too focused on her, instead of on myself and every other aspect of my life.

So like I was just saying a second ago, he lost himself. He was so focused on trying to be what he thought she wanted. He lost himself in the process. He strayed from his friends, his family, got away from taking care of himself. It’s just every guy does the same thing. It’s like you’re comfortable in a relationship. It’s like one of the other Newsletters I did the other day, the guy stopped going to MMA training. He stopped working out, let himself go. He gained a bunch of weight.

And again, this is not something that happens in days and weeks or even a few months. It’s usually over a couple of years in a long term relationship. It’s like you slowly go back to sleep. And if you’re just consuming traditional TV and movies, you’re being propagandized and emotionally anchored to dysfunctional archetypes. And so if you consume my work and you undo the old programming and the way you were. And then at some point you just stop and then you go back to only consuming traditional TV and movies it will brainwash you. It will brainwash you into essence being a beta male, whatever you observe, you participate in.

And if all you’re doing is consuming dysfunctional archetypes, especially with movies, with the music and the sound effects and the emotional situations, it emotionally anchors you to dysfunctional behavior, and you can’t help but react to the way you’ve kind of been programmed to, especially when you think about it, it’s happening to us as soon as we start consuming movie and TV when we’re little kids. You imagine by the time you grow up and you’re in your 20s or your 30s, you got decades of propaganda that you’re trying to undo. That’s just not healthy, and it’s dysfunctional.

In hindsight, I’m grateful for that pain because it pushed me to become a better man.

Well, pain is life’s change agent. It’s life’s way of telling you that the way you’re going about things is not optimal or ideal, and you should probably change your approach. Slow to change your mind, but quick to change your approach when things aren’t working. Slow to change your mind on what you want, but quick to change your approach when your approach is not helping you get what you want.

Even though I ignored your book and initially let my emotions drive my actions, I learned from it. Whether you learn the hard way or the harder way, pain can be a powerful teacher.

Well, “People do more to avoid pain than they do to gain pleasure.” As Aristotle said thousands of years ago.

When you experience genuine pain, it forces you to grow. I shifted my focus back to my own happiness, quit smoking weed every day, and limited it to just the weekends.

Yeah, the ideal is 80% of the time you want to be healthy and disciplined, and then 20% of the time, smoke your ganja, smoke your stogies, your cigars, have a couple Scotch on the rocks or a couple frothy beverages or some wine or whatever. Eat your chocolate cake, or your Ben and Jerry’s, or your three scoops of ice cream or whatever it happens to be. But so on a 30 average 30 day month, what are we looking at?

You got six cheat days to do whatever. And so after a long week, it’s nice to just unplug and blow off some steam, have some junk food, hang out with little Bob Marley action, whatever it is that floats your boat. But the idea is, 80% of the time you want to be disciplined, and be on full tilt boogie moving towards the things that you want.

I started focusing on my career and improving my quality of life.

That’s what we call, controlling the controllables.

Looking back, I’m proud and grateful that I never reached out to her after the breakup, not even once. It was incredibly difficult.

Well, again, you never try to keep somebody who doesn’t want to keep you. You can’t fix anything unless the other person is open to even try. And if they’re not contacting you, if they’ve moved on, they’re dating somebody else, then it really doesn’t matter. You can’t push the wet noodle.

It was incredibly difficult and I never heard from her either, but I kept the most important thing a man can have: self-respect. And trust me, gentlemen, the greatest impact you can leave on her is walking away and leveling up yourself.

Because if she does come back in a few months, what’s she going to find? He’s fitter. He’s more in shape. He’s happier, he’s healthier. He’s got a few other options and choices with the ladies. So he’s not going to be so quick to try to jump back into a relationship with somebody that didn’t work out the first time or the second time or whatever. And then if she has to work harder to get you, she’ll appreciate you more.

Eventually the pain will come down and everything will fall in place, even though I don’t have a new partner or lover I started to love myself like never before. 



Bob

Well, before you can love another, you got to learn to love yourself. You got to learn to be present with yourself. You got to become okay with taking yourself to lunch or to dinner, or hanging out by yourself on the weekend, or on a Friday night and just having a blast by yourself. Whether it’s watching a sports program that you like or a documentary or YouTube videos or a Podcast or something. Or a good movie with healthy archetypes. You got to get to a place where you really enjoy your time alone. Because if you can’t have fun by yourself, you’re not going to be good company for somebody else.

And so that’s what he started to do. He’s really started to enjoy being by himself and loving himself, even though he doesn’t have a significant other. So he can be a good companion for somebody else, instead of being a pleaser and trying to jump through his butt to make somebody else happy at his own expense. So thanks for sharing, dude. So again, so for those of you guys that are in the heat or the thick of going through the shadow of the Valley of Death, there’s a guy that’s just really been suffering for the last 90 days, and he spent a lot of time suffering and consuming my videos, spending time with The Book, and now he’s kind of come through on the other side.

So there is hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You just got to keep moving forward because life really is about managing what’s going on between your ears, managing that conversation so it doesn’t drive you nuts and doesn’t deter you from your mission and your purpose in life. Because life’s not all sunshine and roses. There’s ups and downs. You lose people unexpectedly. Just things happen. I mean, that’s just life. You know, I woke up yesterday, as a matter of fact. And on Instagram I had a, “Hey. One of your posts was removed, and you lost your monetization for 90 days.” I was like, “What?”

So there was a post that we put up probably, I don’t know, 6 or 7 years ago, and now we’re a couple of weeks away from the election. So what’s going on? The tech companies are all adjusting their algorithm because they don’t want to offend anybody. And, uh, to protect “Democracy.” They don’t want to, you know, they’re worried about The Orange Man that may be coming back, hopefully coming back. And so they’re trying to put their thumb on the scale. And so I had a post that’s like I said 6 or 7 years ago I don’t even remember the damn thing.

It was an Instagram image. It was a quote, a quote from somebody that was talking about a lie, a big lie. And so it got removed. And so they changed the algorithm became overly sensitive. And because of posts from 6 or 7 years ago doesn’t fit the new algorithm, they removed it. And because of that, Instagram, despite the fact that I’m an advertiser on their fucking platform, basically removed my monetization. So I know what’s going to happen, is, they’re going to continue to show ads and make money on my videos. They’re just going to fucking not give it to me and steal it, basically.

And that just, it just makes me hate those people more and more. And the other thing is that the Trust and Safety Council, every single tech firm, has at least 2 or 3 former spooks on the trust and safety councils, and they all tend to lean left. So they’re all kind of Marxist, leftist, Leninist and misinformation and disinformation, this and that, and it’s viewpoint discrimination. So these pricks sit on the Trust and Safety Council commissions. And now it’s cost me a lot of money and lost ad revenue over the next 90 days because they’re worried about The Orange Man. So I mean, that’s life. That’s kind of shit.

You wake up, and so I’m spending time, you know, because I got the blue check. I’m contacting their support and they review it in another department and they’re like well sorry decision stands. You don’t get any monetization for 90 days. But you know, in the terms of service, it says we may show ads on your video. So, you know, they’re going to continue showing ads and making money. They’re just not going to give me my portion. That’s theft. That’s fucking theft. That’s what that is. Fucking Mark Zuckerberg, man. What a shitbird. Hopefully someday he learns.

But that’s just wrong. But you know, they’re the big boys on the block. They can do whatever the fuck they want. It’s their platform. So anyways, that’s like stuff like that. And so I wasted like two hours of my morning trying to resolve this thing, and they’re just like, “Yeah, pound sand. Oh, we don’t care if you’re an advertiser. Tough shit.” It’s like just gangsters. I’ll be putting some of my advertising dollars on another platform instead of them. That’s why I spend a minimal amount on their platform. It’s just their shitty customer service and their shitty values. And the fact they got these dirtbags, former spooks, sitting on the Trust and Safety Council that are trying to run and regulate every aspect of our lives.

But anyways. But that’s what happens. Shit happens, you know? What can you do about it? Complain about it on on a video. That’s the world we live in and sometimes things like that. I have no control over it. I did what I could to try to get it overturned and they were like, “Hey. Pound sand.” I was like, “Okay, well, I’ll be reducing my advertising in your company.” It won’t matter much in the big scheme of things, but you fuck enough people over and chase them away. It’s like there’s going to come a day where they’re fucking begging people to come back and advertise in their platform, and by then it’ll probably be too late.

So let’s go to the second email, which is a really great thank you letter from mom.

Second Viewer’s Email:

Hi Corey,

Wanted to give you a big thank you from the bottom of my heart from a Mom’s perspective. My son has read your book countless times, revisits certain teachings and watches all your videos. I often hear him tell me “Corey” says.

Ha. Ha Ha. Ha.

LOL.

I’m sure she probably gets a little tired of that.

And it all makes so much sense. He has opened himself up to love again after some time off with someone who loves him back 10 fold. My son has embraced being the masculine polarity in a relationship and follows your guidance on so many levels in life. If he comes across a challenge, you seem to have the answers he’s looking for.

Well, I teach the fundamentals of the science of high achievement. And so it doesn’t matter whether you’re a plumber or a physicist or a rocket scientist, it’s like, this stuff works. It’s like I teach human behavior and I teach people how to manage the conversation that’s going on between these two ears of ours, so we can keep moving forward, even when Instagram fucks us unjustly, steals our ad revenue, and pockets all of it themselves, and just doesn’t share. They have the benefit of my content, but they keep my money. Isn’t that great? What a bunch of fucking dirtbags. Anyways, I digress.

He follows your principles. He has so much patience that I never had. My son is in his 30’s and respects your knowledge and relationship advice.

Well, like I say all the time, if you think I’m full of shit, if you apply the things I teach, they’ll work for you. That’s why I still am the only one that gives My Books away. You got 3% Man. You got Mastering Yourself. Even my First Quotes Book is if people subscribe to the email newsletter, it’s Free. Free eBooks. It instantly opens up in their web browser. And people will read it, they’ll apply it, they’ll see that it works, and then they’ll go out and buy a Paperback or Hardcover. Or Digital Version or the Audiobook. You try before you buy. There’s literally no risk other than to put your name in your email in there.

He found the right girlfriend for him and his “person” because of your expertise and allowing him to open up his heart and be vulnerable again. As a Mom, my heart is full. My heart is full that you have solutions for challenges in any relationship.

Well, most of my clients are heterosexual, but I have gay clients, I got lesbian clients, I have some trans clients, and they’re all good people. My job as a coach is to help people get what they want, not be their priest. It’s that I teach self-reliance. In other words, to get people to the point where quite frankly, they don’t need me anymore, other than maybe they check in from time to time just to keep the material fresh in their minds. Because again, we’re surrounded by propaganda. And whatever you observe, you participate in. So we always need to remember that. If you’re consuming traditional TV and movies, it’s a lot of propaganda and it emotionally anchors us to dysfunctional archetypes. And quite frankly, it fucks people up.

Guidance for people that need some help too. Thank you for the advice, time, love, hope ,support and patience. From a Mom that loves her son unconditionally. I hope you realize how much of an impact you have in humanity.

Sincerely,

A Mom

Well, thanks Mom. We love you. We appreciate you. And for everything that you guys do for us, even though you may sometimes be ungrateful and unappreciative, it’s not until typically we get much older that we appreciate it. As crazy as my Mom was, and as sad as her ending was. It’s like, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her. So I don’t have any regrets. I love my Mom and I appreciate her.

I miss her sometimes, but, that’s life. You know? It comes for all of us. Like sands through the hourglass. So are the days of our lives. So try to find a way to enjoy your life. Because it ain’t going to last. Everybody you love, everything you build. Eventually it’s all going to turn to dust. So all you can really do is find a way to be of service and give your life away.

And, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

And if you haven’t already signed up for our exclusive Members Only Content in the description of this video, there are links to where you can join on YouTube. You can join on Spotify, or preferably you could join on our Website. UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just click the “plans” tab and when you get there. Or click the link in the description of this particular video. And so on my Website, you can get a seven day free trial so you can check out what kind of content and how much of it you get.

And so typically I do five additional Paid Members Only Video Newsletters similar to this one per week. We have a weekly 3% Man Study Group Podcast, a weekly Mastering Yourself Study Group Podcast that only the Paying Members have access to, where we literally go page by page in The Books. We discuss Viewer Questions from The Books, and it’s like an ongoing weekly class on both Books to help people master the topics in there. Plus, to tie it to ongoing things that are happening in the economy or whatever it happens to be.

And also, we just did a about a two hour Podcast on the Menendez Brothers that was really fascinating. The girls were really into that and wanted to talk about that, because that case, I guess, is coming up. They may get another trial or something like that. Or get a fresh look at it. Because there’s a lot of evidence that wasn’t admissible back in the day. And after seeing the documentaries and all the other evidence that I never knew about or heard about in the late 80s, early 90s when that case happened, it was very fascinating.

So we did a two hour podcast. The girls were really into it and they really took some time. And so that was Members Only because, it’s just, I can’t really put that on YouTube. Because it’s again, you get the viewpoint discrimination. So we keep it behind the paywall for our Paying Members. And if you again on my Website, you can do a monthly plan or an annual plan. And if you sign up for an annual plan, you get a 25% discount for paying the whole premium up front.

And so if you join on YouTube, you’ll consume the content on YouTube. If you join in Spotify, you’ll consume the content there. If you join on my Website, you’ll consume the content on my Website. If you subscribe in a Website, it’s not going to give you access to YouTube and Spotify. Or if you join on Spotify, you won’t have access to YouTube or my website. It’s just some people have thought, erroneously, that it gives you access to all three, no matter where you subscribe. That would be nice, but technologically, that’s just simply not possible at this juncture. So until next time, I will talk to you soon.