What you should focus on and practice so you can get better at meeting and dating the kind of women you really want and deserve and master the art of seduction.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two new email updates from a viewer I answered previous emails for in my video coaching newsletters titled, “My Feminist Man Hating Girlfriend,” and “It’s Not All About You!” In his first email update, he discusses what happened with the two previous women he was involved with, which I discussed in the aforementioned video newsletters. He also shares details of three new women he has been involved with and what he learned interacting with them while practicing the fundamentals from my book.
His second email update describes the continued progress he has made with one particular woman. He details what he did and said, body language observations and what he did and said to successfully seduce them. It’s a great series of success stories perfectly illustrating what every man must go through on his journey of mastering pickup, dating and seduction skills. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
Viewer’s First Update:
I’ve read the book seven times now, and I’m going to read it 20 times. I’m 52 years old. I did email coaching with you twice. I’d like to share, as briefly as I can, a few success stories I’ve had as I practiced fundamentals and how much you can learn when you apply the teachings and get real world feedback. (Repetition is the mother of skill. You must practice this stuff if you want your life to change.)
I was in a relationship with a structured woman and a feminist, (Structured women are women who don’t act natural, because they’re following a set of rules. They don’t act upon their feelings or emotions and are always holding back), who was really sent into my life to trigger every weakness I had, so I could confront them and learn. (That’s cool, because you’ve accepted that, and you’re looking for empowering reasons why things happen in your life.) By reading the book more times, I realized what I’d done wrong, but I felt it would be too much work, since I would, in principle, have to be ready to walk away at any time to pass her constant testing, and spend a lot of time opening her up. So I left. (Good for you dude. It’s tough.)I briefly dated an ex, who was really feminine and good to me before. She’d made it easy, and I realize that now. However, she wanted a commitment right away. Also, she told me she’d had sexual contact with men via obscure sex dating web sites after I left her. Confessing this to me was supposed to be a “test” to make sure I really liked her. This was a hard blow to me, because I’d built an illusion that she might be the one for me, since she treated me so good. (People who are in a scarcity mindset go back to heating up leftovers, hoping things will be different the second or third time around.) Now, I suddenly felt she’s not who I thought she was and probably not girlfriend material after all. This was the final blow, which made me wake up and finally see reality as it is. (Like Ayn Rand says, “You can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.” There are way too many people in this world that ignore reality.) I’ve now started dating seriously to get practice, and I’ve made some amazing experiences I’d like to share. (He got unstuck and moved these two women out of his life.)
I saw a woman at the Network Care clinic, and there was an instant connection. I asked for her number, and she gave it without hesitation. She contacted me after two days via text, and I set a date. The conversation was nice, and she did 90% of the talking. The only thing I didn’t do right was, she talked a lot about her divorce and issues. and I didn’t manage to steer away from that, so I was too much of a therapist, even though I was a good listener. (This is great. This is what we all have to do when we’re experiencing these things. You need to critique your game.) Women seem to want to open up to me. (Women are natural talkers. They solve their problems by talking about them, and you facilitate them talking. Remember, hang out, have fun and hook up is the formula.) The next day, she texted me and said I’m a considerate man and a good listener, but she’s not over her divorce and not able to open up, blah, blah, blah. I just replied that I think she’s cute and charming, and “get in touch if you change your mind.” (That was a good response, but she’s really saying she’s not over her divorce.) Then I walked and will not look back. She was surprised at my reaction and thanked me. I feel so great about this. It was a fun date, she opened up her entire life to me, which was really interesting, and I feel no attachment to the end result. (That’s the place you want to be. You don’t want to get attached to somebody until they demonstrate they’re worthy of being attached to. When you have an abundance mentality, you won’t settle.)
Then, there was this girl at the gym. She’s 44. I started talking to her just to be friendly, as I practice talking to everyone. At first I could sense she put up her guard and was defensive, thinking maybe I was hitting on her. I just continued to be friendly for several weeks with no agenda, and I noticed a shift. Suddenly, she started coming up to me and talking. I wasn’t really interested at first, but just before Christmas, she put herself in my orbit, talking about how she was all by herself for Christmas, since her children were away with their father. “Do you want to get together then?” I asked casually. “Why not?” she said, and gave me her number with no hesitation at all. (Being friendly wherever you go will only help you in life.) We were going to have coffee the day after Christmas, but everything was closed, so I invited her to my place for dinner, since we live really close. She accepted.Sitting near her on the couch, I waited for her to start touching me, but she never did, so I gradually moved closer and put my arm behind her, then pulled back a while and again put my arm behind her until it was around her shoulders. Every time I moved a bit closer I noticed she didn’t resist, so I pulled back and then moved closer again. (Two steps forward, and one step back.) I also got her up on the floor to teach her some dance moves, holding her close. We had a lot of fun with that. When we sat down again, I continued moving closer until I was holding her. She didn’t move, but didn’t resist. After a while, she asked me what I was thinking. I said, “Stay the night!” She sort of agreed. When we stood up, I took her in my arms and kissed her, which led to heavy making out, and we went to the bedroom. It turned out she was great in bed. I feel this experience was interesting since she never gave me the go ahead to touch by touching me, but I gradually moved in anyway. (This is what you can do when your sensory acuity really becomes developed, and you can read a woman’s body language, but keep in mind, she behaves like a structured woman.) Also, she talked a lot about her family issues and I listened, but this time there was no problem with this. I assume this is because she’s more into me than the first lady. I’ve seen her a couple more times since then, and it’s been good every time. Now she keeps contacting me, and I leave her alone unless she does.
The final case I want to share is a lady I met online. I set up a first coffee date. When I said I would let her know where to meet me, she replied it was EXCITING not to know where she was going. (Women love mystery.) We met for coffee and had great conversation. I was really enamored by her. She’s very tall and thin with red hair. I gently tried to kiss her when we left, but she said she wanted to move slowly. (This is a sign of structure or low interest.) Still, SHE contacted ME pretty soon, and wanted to meet again. (She’s definitely structured.) I set up a date starting at a wine bar and then moving on to an inexpensive but nice restaurant. She said she liked that it was a SURPRISE where we were going. At dinner she confessed thinking I’m a great person, but she doesn’t feel head over heels in love, which she had hoped for. (More rules and more expectations of hers.) She’d met some dude she felt that for, but he wasn’t interested. She was looking for that feeling. Still, she would like to see me again, and hoped her feelings would grow. At this time, my own attraction had dropped. I didn’t close the door though, just smiled and said she should take her time, and we’ll see after the New Year. I thought I shouldn’t waste my time with her any more. I wasn’t sure if her attraction was a 5 or lower, but the great thing is that when we said goodnight, she said to me, “YOU’RE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!” This was the first time I got this type of direct feedback from a woman, which you discuss in your book. (She was definitely paying you a compliment.) This was such recognition, that I smiled all the way home. Now SHE’s contacted ME again after the New Year, and really seems eager to meet again. (She’s doing all the work now.) She even texted a second time to make sure I had gotten her first text, when I didn’t reply the same day, so I set up another date to see what happens.
There have been other interesting learning experiences, but I’ll leave them out not to make it too long. I used to hear what you said about having more women chasing me than I could date, and wondered if that would ever happen to me. Now I’m quickly finding I have to check my calendar to be able to fit women in, and I get more and more texts. I have to be honest, these are not yet the type of women I would really like to date, but they’re sweet and nice and I get good practice. (Try to get a little better each and every day. That’s the point.) Pretty soon, I feel I’ll even have the guts to walk up to any woman in a supermarket, tell her she looks amazing, ask for her number and be indifferent to the outcome. All this was impossible only months ago. (You’re practicing and you’re getting better, so good job.)Thanks Coach!
Viewer’s Second Update:
I’d just like to add what happened with the lady who said I was DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT! As I explained, she said this about me, but didn’t know if she really wanted me. I hung back, and she contacted me. She arranged another date at an exhibition, and we had dinner. When she wanted to have coffee at a coffee shop, I suggested going to my place and she agreed. (Hang out, have fun and hook up. A man’s job is to create an opportunity for sex to happen, and that’s what you’re doing.) On the sofa, I waited for the right moment, and then kissed her. We ended up making out all but naked in my bed all night, but her underpants wouldn’t come off, even though I made several advances. (This is the problem with dating structured girls.) She wanted to wait until it felt “completely right.” It seems I attract some structured ladies. (The sooner you can learn to move on when it’s not right, the quicker you’re going to get to where you need to be.)
Anyway, she reached out to me again with the excuse of asking how my job interview went. At that time I really hesitated. It didn’t feel from her messages that the timing was right to set another date. I felt I should finish the conversation and contact her again some days later, since it had only been two days. (If she’s reaching out, you should set dates.) However, I decided to trust you, and assume she wanted to see me, so I asked her to come for dinner and some dancing at my place a week later. The response took a while, but then she accepted. We had a nice dinner, danced a little and talked, creating more rapport. Then I kissed her and we ended up making love, which was kind of hot, with some screaming on her side. Afterwards, lying in bed, she asked me, “Oh, how did I end up here?” Apparently, the sex was MY FAULT! She still says she isn’t there emotionally yet, but she’s fucking my brains out. I’ll see her again at her place in a couple of days. This feels great! (You’ve got to have these experiences to prepare you for the women who knock your socks off.)Thanks again Coach!
“Life is a continuous process of interacting with other people who have shown up in your life on purpose to help you smooth out your rough edges, turn your weaknesses into strengths and to facilitate experiences enabling you to reach your full potential in the journey of your life. You can either look at life as though everything that happens is a miracle, or as if nothing is a miracle. When you view life and everything that happens to you as a miracle with a purpose, then you can see the universe conspiring to help you achieve your most emotionally compelling goals, and things tend to flow even more effortlessly. If you perceive life just happens to you at random, without any purpose at all, then life will always be a struggle and your choices will unknowingly bring you even more struggles. Life can be beautiful or it can be a total bitch. It’s simply a matter of the meanings you give to the circumstances of your life. Choose wisely.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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