The importance and necessity of living your life according to your own expectations and standards, instead of trying to live up to the unreasonable expectations of others, and why haters are gonna hate, and why they must be ignored and deleted from your life.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a female viewer who chose to get upset and butt-hurt about my video titled, “The Right To Keep & Bear Arms” and my continual blocking and muting of haters. She threatens to no longer recommend my work to all of her friends, like she claims she has done up until now, if I do not change my approach and put up with haters, instead of banishing them from my life and business. The second email is a success story from a former hater of mine whom I blocked from my YouTube channel several years ago when he became disrespectful, condescending, argumentative, hostile and rude. He shares how he realized his prior behavior was inappropriate and disrespectful. He reevaluated his attitude, embraced what I teach and got amazing results. He shares how his life changed for the better once he stopped trying to argue, deflect blame and project his own self-hatred and self-loathing onto me, in order to absolve himself from any blame or personal responsibility for his own actions. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails:
First Viewer’s Email:
Hey Coach Corey,
I hope you are well and happy? I’ve watched your video on the right to bear arms, (“The Right To Keep & Bear Arms”), over and over again and watched the comments and interaction underneath. I’ve got to ask you, do you know how you’ve made yourself appear? (The overwhelming majority of comments are really positive. I only lost about thirty subscribers, and I really don’t care about the people I don’t see eye to eye with. I teach self-reliance, so it shouldn’t seem surprising that I discuss these issues. It’s not a right to interact with me on my YouTube channel. It’s a privilege. In order to be self-reliant, you need to be free to live your life the way you want, without being unduly influenced by people seeking to keep you down.) You’re sabotaging your own mission Corey. You teach that ‘Leaders create leaders.’ (The true measure of a leader is not by how many followers they have, but how many leaders they create. I’m not interested in followers. I’m interested in teaching people to be self-reliant, so they don’t need me anymore.) By blocking, deleting and bad mouthing people who give a different opinion to yours, what you’ve basically shown is that you want a community of people who agree with everything you say, and follow you, stupidly and blindly. (That’s an arrogant and condescending statement on your part. If somebody agrees with me and follows what I teach, they’re going to get predictable results. What I teach works, and the reviews speak for themselves. I don’t tolerate drama in my life. In order to accomplish something you want in life, you’ve got to have like-minded, positive people around you. However, some people are so into their ideology, they’re not really interested in what you have to say and are not open-minded. As Bill Parcells said, “Losers assemble in small groups and complain about the coaches and other players. Winners assemble as a team and find ways to win.”) If you’re an alpha male, the idea of leading a bunch of weak people, (Again, you are assuming anyone other than the hater is somehow weak, but I coach some of the most successful and wealthiest people in the world), will turn your stomach, but that’s what’ll happen if you carry on in this way. (I’m not going to miss the thirty people who unsubscribed. I don’t need those people who cannot exercise emotional control.) You’re setting yourself up to fail at your own mission. (You don’t know what you’re talking about, because my business is growing.)
Do you know that my biggest haters are the ones who tell everyone about me? The people who hate me most are the ones who follow everything I do, they’re always at the top of my ‘friends you may know list,’ as they stalk me and they pay attention to everything I say, wear and do. (It sounds like you spend a lot of time observing your haters.) They tell their friends about me and become obsessed in a way. They comment on and criticize everything I do, and I pay attention to everything they say. I make the changes they want, and I become better and better every day. (You’re living your live according to the expectations of your haters, but you will never reach your full potential if you’re trying to live up to other people’s expectations. One of my favorite quotes was by Steve McQueen, who said, “I live for myself, and I answer to nobody,” so you really shouldn’t be surprised at how I react. I’ve done other articles called, “Why I Don’t Care What You Think,” and “I Have A Potty Mouth.” As soon as somebody is trying to impose their belief system and narrow minded view of the world on me, I’m already not listening and not paying attention.) I work harder, I look better and I achieve more because of my haters. If it wasn’t for their criticism, I wouldn’t be where I am today, which is better than everyone else at everything I put my mind to.
Haters need leaders. You’ll probably find that your haters are going away and thinking about what you’re saying and trying to work on themselves. (You will see in the next email, a letter from a viewer I blocked several years back, who is now one of the greatest resources for people coming to my channel, as he knows his stuff inside and out.) It’s the followers you want to watch, because they’re the stupid people who latch onto an idea without questioning it or actually doing any work on themselves. (You should not just follow me blindly, but investigate on your own.) Let them hate, keep on what you’re doing and start doing it better, and you’ll find they might actually end up being some of the best leaders you create. (I say, here are my standards. If you want to participate in my community, here are the rules of the road. This is my community, and I won’t tolerate bullshit.)
I want to support what you do and your work, but you’ve made yourself look like a hypocrite and a pussy with your comments. (You’re trying to make me feel bad about who I am, so I will change and become what you want. From reading your email, it sounds like you live your life according to the expectations of your haters, and you’re telling me you’re not going to follow me unless I do what you want.) I literally tell everyone I meet about your videos, but in no way am I going to tell people to watch your videos if you’re starting to act like a dick, and you are with those actions. (You’re wrong. You don’t know my business and you don’t know what you’re talking about.)
Second Viewer’s Email:
You’ve been a staple on my computer and phone screens since 2013. My first encounter with your work was the result of a Google search, “should I take back a cheating girlfriend.” This led me to one of your videos, and a series of others, as that relationship grew worse. Over time, I started reading your book and things became clear. Admittedly, I didn’t agree with everything. And in fact, (I might not always be right, but I’m never wrong), we’ve gone back and fourth in the comments, with you even blocking me at one point. That hurt, because although I didn’t agree with everything, I saw you as a legitimate mentor. (My life, my rules. I expect communication, respect and to be able to talk things out in an adult manner. At this point in my life, I don’t put up with shit.) After that, I realized that I was disrespectful — period. (I’m glad you recognize that. It takes a big man to admit that.) I cleaned up my approach to your material and came back as a different user. This time, I was your student, reading and watching objectively and applying your teachings, as if they were the “quizzes” to your work.
I soon got over my cheating ex and opened my eyes. There were MANY beautiful women that were pursuing me. They didn’t work out for various reasons, and some still contact me to meet up to this day, but the point is that, I now knew that there was an abundance, and that I didn’t have to settle for abuse. (Exactly. You don’t put up with abuse in your life either.) Your work also helped me focus on the concept of “purpose” and what mine was. And as a result of following my purpose, this is what God brought into my life. (He actually sent me a video of him being interviewed at the company where he works in the health and wellness industry. He looks happy and embodies the energy I talk about all of the time. His confidence is off the charts. If he’s comfortable with it, maybe he’ll post a link to that video in the YouTube comments for the viewers to see.) So, since you’ve shared so much with me, this one’s for you. Enjoy :).
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The world is full of people who think they have a right to bully, intimidate, shame and force you to live and think like they expect you to. People in general feel better about themselves and their choices if they can influence others to make the same choices. They literally seek validation for their own behavior and beliefs by trying to make other people more like them. Successful people tend to be optimistic and look for the value in every situation or life experience, regardless of whether or not things unfold as they want or expect. We all have to deal with haters. Haters don’t really hate you. They hate themselves, want to be you or simply are jealous and envious of what you have or who you are. Never take their insults personally, because they are simply projecting what’s inside of them. You are never responsible for what other people think of you. It’s simply none of your business.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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