How being direct and decisive on the Tinder dating app leads to dating and seduction success.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who details how he attracted and seduced a woman who was a ten out of ten in the looks department on their first date, despite her dating profile saying she doesn’t sleep with guys on the first date.
He talks about his bio setup and the process he used to be direct and decisive to get her on a first date and how he seduced her successfully using the principles from my book, How To Be A 3% Man. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
What’s interesting is he details a little bit about his Tinder profile, what’s he puts in it, how it works, and then how he goes about getting a date. And so, this woman threw him a little bit of a curve in her response, because I think he was probably texting a little bit too much. But it just goes to show the power of being direct and decisive and getting right to the point. Because attraction is not a choice. Women know if they like you or not. And if you’ve matched because you’re attractive to each other, it shouldn’t take too much to end up on a date together.
We’ll go through his email and see what he did to successfully seduce this ten out of ten on the first date. And what’s interesting is this particular woman in her bio says, “I don’t sleep with guys on the first date.” So when you see a statement like that, it means “I will definitely sleep with you on the first date, as long as you don’t talk me out of it.”
I just wanted to reach out and share a success story I had, “literally” last night, and how your book/teachings helped me with a 10 out of 10 that knocked my socks off.
He’s obviously talking about “How To Be A 3% Man.”
I’ve been following your work for about 2 years now, and I am 29 years old. I watch about 3 or 4 videos a day.
That’s a serious student.
Nice. Good job. The good success stories are always guys that follow the instructions. Unlike the guy whose email I did the day before, which was titled “There’s Something Missing in the Connection Between Us.” This is how great things can go when you apply what’s in the book.
I am a very successful interior designer in Montana, so I have myself very established, especially with the gym and my personal life.
So he’s a guy who’s got his life together. He’s got his purpose, his mission, he knows where he’s going, he knows what he wants, he’s making it happen. And so, he’s looking for a cutie to join him as his teammate.
So, I met this 22-year old woman on Tinder, and she was very attractive. I keep my bio very lighthearted and comical, thus I have a lot of success on meeting women with this app. This one I matched up with, I gave it some time, as I had a very specific client of mine that worked on The Avengers movie as a main actor. Unfortunately, I cannot say who it is, (confidentiality), but he was one of the main casts, which makes for a great conversation at dinner. Eventually, I got back to her and just led off with the line, “Hey (so and so,) what trouble are you causing tonight?”
That’s actually pretty clever. Because what are most women in their early 20s doing? They’re out partying, having a good time with their girlfriends. They are going out. I like that.
Most women love this line. It opens them up to asking questions, and we are able to connect on a closer level. But this particular woman was slow in her responses. I just assumed it was a low attraction, and perhaps it was, thus I was about ready to move on as I do not get attached to these conversations at all.
As you shouldn’t. Why would a woman take long to reply on Tinder? You know why? She’s looking for the guys who are going to lose their shit and get angry, because it happens pretty quick. “Oh, fine, you don’t like me? Okay, fine. Take forever to text me back. You’re mean. You’re a big meanie. I’m busy too!”
After a few text exchanges, I finished off with a question and hadn’t heard back from her in about 15 hours.
She’s probably getting a little bored with the conversation. She’s looking for a man to be direct and decisive. As I talk about in “How To Be A 3% Man,” and “How To Create The Ultimate Online Dating Profile,” it’s the same philosophy – two to three texts max, and then send your number, “Let’s chat on the phone, or send me your number. I’ll call you.”
You’ve got to understand, a lot of women go on Tinder and the other dating apps, not because they’re looking to meet anybody. I have some friends of mine, we’ve done videos on this, and they even come right out and say it. If they’re having a rough day or they want a little validation, they’ll just activate their Tinder profile, get lots of validation and then they turn it back off.
So, that’s why it’s important, you’re trying to separate the tire kickers, the validation seekers, the attention whores from the women who are actually looking to meet and date and potentially hook up. You have to prequalify, and that means getting through the women that are just looking for validation.
Based off our conversation I was feeling Tinder wasn’t her thing.
Or she was bored with the conversation because you weren’t being direct and decisive. But I like how he recognized it.
I broke my response rule and decided to take a chance. I sent a somewhat direct message that went something like, “Hey, I feel Tinder isn’t our thing. Here is my number, give me a call and let’s set up a date.”
Oh, imagine that.
Within a minute, my phone was going off and she basically just said, “This is the first time a guy on here has ever been as direct with me.”
Women like men who are direct and decisive and who get to the point. They don’t want to go on, and on, and on. And quite frankly, if you looked through the different dating app profiles, you’ll see a lot of women complaining on their dating app profiles that they’re not there to text. What happens is they get in these texting exchanges with guys that just don’t ever get around to asking them out and it annoys the hell out of them.
“I do not like messaging back and forth and just wanted someone to call it as it is.”
There you go. In other words, “I like men who actually act like men and get to the point.”
I talked for about 4 minutes, set a date on the spot and told her I would pick her up at her place. This conversation happened last Friday.
So, that’s impressive to talk for four minutes and you already got her home address and you’re going to go pick her up. But if she’s been on there for a while and she’s a pretty girl, she’s had probably hundreds and hundreds of thirsty dudes, and you’re the only one, like she said, that acted like a man, so therefore, she felt safe. She felt safe and comfortable giving out her address, because you didn’t act like anybody else.
I hadn’t texted her until the day before because, as you state multiple times, “Women like men whose feelings are unclear.”
You have an appointment, you have a date. If you make plans with your family, or your parents, or take your mom to lunch or dinner and you go, “Hey, mom, are we still on for dinner?” It would be like, “What?” People that have to confirm appointments are used to getting stood up and jerked around, and that says something about those people.
I just sent a quick text that I was looking forward to the date, and I would see her at (such address at such time). I picked her up, and we hit it off. She immediately commented on how I didn’t message her, call or text repeatedly, and how she was thrilled by that.
Huh, imagine that. It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. This guy is completely different than everybody else, so already, she’s attracted.
I just smiled and said I appreciated the compliment and began asking questions you recommend in the videos.
Damn, you even memorized the questions that I gave you. Whatever works, whatever floats your boat. I think there were like thirty-six pickup and date questions for conversations or something like that. It’s referenced in “How To Be A 3% Man.” I’ve done a few articles over the years, and I give dozens and dozens of questions you can ask on dates, for those of you that are date question challenged. You can memorize a few of them for conversations if things start to die off a little bit.
She must have had terrible luck in her dating life, because she said she never heard or have been asked these questions.
Obviously, people don’t listen. And a 3% man obviously is a generous number. But then again, you’re in fucking Montana, dude. There’s nothing in Montana.
I took her out to this fun restaurant on the lake. We had a great time and great conversation. I picked up the tab and asked if she was ready for the next event.
You pick up the tab because it’s your date. You invited her out. It’s just like if you have a party at your house, you don’t charge your friends a cover charge. It’s like, come on! I had a phone session recently with a guy, and he’s making women pay 50% on their dates. I was like, “What are you thinking, dude?”
This really surprised her, because she was not used to men taking her out to other places, and she began touching and holding my arm and laughing.
She touched you first. Wow! It’s so weird, because they tell us on TV and in the movies that the men are supposed to do all of the pursuing, but yet here’s a woman touching a man first. Huh, imagine that. Society says that doesn’t happen.
After a drink at an Irish bar, I drove her to the river. I have a rooftop tent on my truck, so we didn’t even need to go back to each other’s place.
How convenient, you brought the bed with you. You have the bed in the bed of your truck.
I had blankets, a speaker playing music and my own cocktail kit.
Really? See, this is thinking about the logistics of sex, and it’s obviously not the first time this guy has used this. Because once you’ve got a good system down, it’s good to have places to go. And each time you have a new girlfriend, you take her to those new places and it’s like a new thing for her. It just works like a charm. You’ve got to have a system in place. And he obviously does, he’s got a cocktail kit in his car!
We didn’t even get to the cocktails before we had our clothes off.
Naughty. Wow! Somebody’s following instructions. Hang out, have fun and hook up. Unlike the previous email, where the guy was focused on a relationship, this guy is just hanging out and having fun and hooking up.
And were wrapped in the blankets “watching” stars fall.
Oh, I bet you were watching the stars fall. You were seeing stars.
What’s funny is that she even said on her bio that she does not sleep with someone on the first date.
Around 2:00 am, I dropped her off, kissed her and went about my day.
Sorry for the long message, but this couldn’t be possible without the teachings of your book.
Well, that’s what happens when you read it 14 times, and you read “Mastering Yourself” at least three times, which you should read that more. But get on to “Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations” as well. That’s available now. It’s free to read it at UnderstandingRelationships.com as well. Just subscribe to the email newsletter.
Allow women the space to open up, set up dates that are fun, lead to sex.
Meaning handle the logistics, which he obviously did a great job at.
And men, please take charge of a situation if you feel it isn’t going your way. Create the opportunity and make your own path, and I promise the right woman will follow.
This is true. For my official fact checking duties, this is definitely a fact check that’s true.
Cheers friend and look forward to meeting you one day!
Well, Bob, congratulations on the hanging out, having fun and hooking up.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Masculine energy is about purpose, drive, mission, succeeding, accomplishing, breaking through barriers and overcoming challenges. It is direct and decisive and gets to the point, as this is leadership energy. Women are attracted to and turned on by men who display these masculine strength characteristics. That is why men who display indecisiveness and are timid and shy turn women off romantically. Because they literally act the opposite of what naturally attracts women to men. An absence of masculinity results in an absence of female attraction.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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