
How to determine if you should or shouldn’t call her after getting dumped if she asks.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is new to my work. He dated a woman after his divorce for about six months. He got dumped due to his clingy needy beta male behavior. He kept pursuing trying to get another chance, but she was firm in her decision.
However, she told him that she remains curios and for him to call her in three months. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
This particular email is from a guy who’s brand new to my work, and after he got divorced, he dated a woman for about six months, but he says he got dumped due to his clingy and needy beta male style behavior. He failed to lead, failed to focus on his purpose and mission. After he got dumped, he did like a lot of guys did, which was kind of begging, pleading, over-pursuing, trying to get another chance, but she said she was firm in her decision, but she did say that she remains curious about him and he should reach out in three months. Now he’s wondering if he should.
So, as I discussed in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, if the woman unilaterally ends the relationship, it’s her job to fix it. Therefore, she’s got to do all the calling, texting, pursuing and reaching out after the breakup. In other words, she has to earn another chance with you, not the other way around, because she’s the one that fucked it up. She’s the one that decided she didn’t want to work things out, talk, communicate or make things better. A man who loves and values himself is not going to stick around trying to beg or plead with a woman to change her mind. He’s simply going to move on, focus on himself, get refocused on his mission and purpose and taking care of the little things that need to be taken care of so he can become a better quality man to attract a better quality woman down the road.
If she reaches out and he’s still free, maybe he’ll invite her over to make dinner at his place. He doesn’t go to her. He doesn’t go pick her up. He doesn’t meet her out. He doesn’t meet on neutral ground. He doesn’t meet her halfway. If she wants another chance with him, she’s got to come to him, make dinner at his place. As long as they hang out, have fun and hook up three times in a row, then he can meet her out and pick her up, but he’s got to let her do 100% of the reaching out from that point forward because again, she messed it up. She’s got to fix it.
So she’s got to be the one to prove that she’s changed, she’s remorseful and she’s going to do whatever it takes to get another chance with him and lock him down. When the guy does that, he’s basically acting like a woman and he’s chasing after somebody that no longer wants him. You never try to keep somebody that doesn’t want to keep you. Especially if she says, “You know, reach out to me in three months.” She’s already said she’s firm in her decision and he shouldn’t reach out in three months because again, she was the one that broke it off. He tried to fix things, he tried to beg and plead, and she wasn’t having any of it. So therefore, he rides off in the sunset. Unless she reaches out, they’re never, ever going to speak again as long as they live.
So she gets to see what life is like without having him in her life anymore, and if there’s any kind of interest left on her part, it’ll start to bubble up and increase over time and she’ll reach out. If not, then he’ll never hear from her again and she’ll completely move on. The worst thing you can do is to continue to pursue and to do what she tells you. Like, “Hey, reach out in three months.” All she’s really saying is, “Well, maybe I’ll feel different in three months.” Well, if she feels different in three months, she can pick up the phone and reach out because again, she was the one that ended things.
So let’s go through his email. I’d say probably 80% of the guys coming to me, they got dumped or they were dating a girl and they thought things were going well, and all of a sudden, poof! They get the rug pulled out from underneath them and they often don’t understand why.

Viewer Email:
Hello Corey,
I’ve got the 3% Man book. I’ve listened 2/3 of the way through and I’ve watched a dozen different YouTube videos.
Here’s my situation:
I was married last fall, but started divorce proceedings and met a wonderful woman. We started dating and were together about six months. In that time, she was really in pursuit of me and we had great dates and sex and her children really loved me.
So initially he’s in the middle of a divorce. Probably the last thing he’s really wanting to do is a date or meet somebody else, but this girl clearly probably started out with high interest, so she did all the pursuing and like most guys, once his emotions became engaged and he became really interested in her, he started pursuing. What happens over time, he pursues more to the point where she starts to back off, and when the average guy sees that or senses that, they think, “I gotta fix this. I gotta do something. Let me call her more. Let me text her more. Let me call her, find out what’s wrong. Why is she so distant?” Women will give a response like, “I’m confused. I’m not so sure. There’s something missing. There’s no spark. There’s no chemistry. I should feel different than I do.” They’ll get that kind of a thing.
Men have to understand that women are like cats. They tend to come and go. They spend too much time with you, they get a little flaky and distant. You don’t take it personally. You just understand that familiarity tends to breed contempt. When you spend too much time together, you should expect a woman’s going to get a little bored or a little complacent or not as excited as she was when you first started hanging out, and that’s not something to freak you out. Just understand that is kind of the ebb and flow of how women are, and you don’t take it personally. A guy who’s got his life squared away and is focused on his mission and purpose, what he’s supposed to be doing as a man, being competent, confident, growing and becoming better, he continues to move on with his life whether she’s in it or not. She becomes a complement to his life, not the center of his life.
She has been with emotionally abusive boyfriends/ex-husband, so I was refreshing because I am emotionally mature and kind and loving to her.
Well in the beginning, she was doing all the pursuing, but obviously that changed.
Well, I got divorced in January and her love for me increased, but around April, I showed some clingy/beta behavior and I could feel her pulling away.
So again, when women start to act like a cat, especially in this case, you show weakness because you show weakness, what happens is her attraction drops, her respect for you drops, and then you should expect a pull away. As long as you don’t freak out or come unglued, you just notice that, “Yeah, I kind of screwed up. Made some beta male like behavior. Let me just give her the gift of missing me,” and hang back and wait to hear from her, but by that point, the guy is really emotionally invested and wrapped up in his fantasy of who he wanted her to be.
So, like most guys, he started to pursue, started to chase, started seeking her attention and validation instead of letting her seek his. So, in essence, what he started doing was acting like a girl and less of the man he used to be when she first met, because he was a challenge when they first met, because he had just left his wife, but there was always a potential that he could go back to her, and so she had to work to get his time and attention. Once he became fixated, he became too focused on her and acting like a girl, she got turned off and she became distant. Since he didn’t know any better, things just kind of spiraled out of control.
I brought it up and three weeks later she broke up with me.
So he’s trying to fix her low interest, and what fixes the low interest? Is him correcting his behavior, which obviously if you’re new, the book has it all laid out. You can read it for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. Even if you think I’m totally full of shit, if you apply what’s in the book, again it’s free on my website. Just subscribe to the email newsletter, create a password and it’ll open up right in your web browser. You get to try before you buy. Nobody else does that. So the book is there. You got to learn the baseline fundamentals, because these videos are real world situations to help you implement what’s in the book.

I immediately researched what the hell happened…
Because most guys are like, “What the fuck? I didn’t see the breakup coming.”
…And figured out I wasn’t being enough of an attractive man with making decisions and being committed to my purpose. She said, “Well that’s great, and I remain curious but I’m sticking with my decision. But I want you to call me when things feel different.”
So that tells me he came across my work, started implementing it, and then he started contacting her basically saying, “Hey, I’ve changed. I’ve become a better man. I realize what I did to drive you away.” Again, he’s seeking her attention and validation, which is not masculine. It’s a bad way to go.
So we’ve been no contact for six weeks…
Well, good on you for being able to maintain that, because I know that’s hard because we human beings make our decisions based on our emotions, and then we use logic and reason to justify those, and when you’ve been dumped or rejected, you tend to start pursuing.
…I’ve seen her around town (Which sucks) and I’m still longing for her.
Well, you’re longing for the fantasy of who you thought and who you wanted her to be.
I’ve recommitted to my purpose and am improving my self esteem drastically. So I’m debating after about three months if she doesn’t call, do I call her and setup the date at either my house or a bar?
No. Absolutely not. You’re never, ever going to call her again for any reason as long as you live. No birthdays, no Groundhog Day, no congratulations, no holidays, no reaching out for any reason. As far as you’re concerned, she’s dead to you. You did everything you could to try to fix things, and she wasn’t having it. Then she tells you to, “Call me in three months.” In other words, “Call me in three months. I might feel different. Maybe I’ll go out with you.” Again, she fucked it up. She wasn’t willing to give you a chance. Therefore, she has to earn another chance with you, not the other way around.
You need to have a complete different mindset change in how you approach this. It’s her job to fix what she fucked up. That’s why you’re not going to reach out to her. Plus, the 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back details that she’s got to come to you. You’re not going to meet her at a bar or meet her for coffee. If she wants to see you, she can come over and make dinner with you at your place in the evening because you’re interested in sex and romance, not being her gay male girlfriend, becoming Harry Honda, buying her food and things to fill her belly when she’s bored. Then she goes home and fucks Chad Thundercock later that night with the belly full of food that you bought for her.
She must come to you because that’s what you want to see. Is she submitting to you and what you want, and she’s becoming easygoing, easy to get along with, not a difficult pain in the ass who basically tossed you aside like you were useless garbage.
Or should I wait indefinitely for her to contact me?
Well, you shouldn’t wait for her to contact you at all. You should move on with your life, assume it’s over and you’re probably never, ever going to hear from her again and seek to apply what’s in the book so you can attract a better quality woman, because quite frankly, this was the first girl you met and dated after your divorce.
Like how much do I read into her comment of, “I remain curious and want you to call me” when three months will have gone by?
Thanks,
Bob

It’s like, I wouldn’t do it. It’s a trap because again, she fucked it up. She’s got to fix it. So she probably fully expects you to reach out in three months, and then when you don’t, she’s going to start to think, “Did he meet somebody else? Is he pissed off? Is he no longer interested in me? Did he get hit by a bus? Kidnapped by aliens? Where is that guy?”
It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. She didn’t want to give you the time of day and you’re not going to chase after somebody that says, “Yeah, maybe in three months I’ll go out with you.” It’s like, fuck that! Have some self-respect. Go spend your time with women who are excited to be with you and excited to spend time with you who have a, “Hell yeah, I’d love to see you,” kind of attitude. Don’t try to keep somebody that doesn’t want to keep you. So follow what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. Read the book. Again, it’s free if you haven’t already subscribed to the free email newsletter on my website.
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