The Painful Consequences Of Not Vetting Your Women Properly

How to avoid the painful consequences of not vetting your women properly when dating.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss 3 different emails from 3 different viewers. The 1st email is from a viewer who is involved with a toxic ex who bounces back and forth between him and another previous boyfriend. The 2nd email is from a guy who keeps ignoring the reality of his toxic insecure ex and keeps trying to date her thinking she’s going to change.

The 3rd email is from a guy who didn’t read my book 10-15 times like instructed, but cherry picked from it 3 years ago. He married a woman after only 6 months of dating, and she is rude and bitchy all the time towards him because she doesn’t respect him. These are great emails that illustrate the painful consequences of failing to vet the women you date properly. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the bodies of their emails.

And all three of these emails illustrate just how difficult and unpleasant your life will be when you don’t vet women properly. And the last one, the guy’s married now. He married this girl after only knowing her for six months. Part of his problem, you hear me saying all the time, you’ve got to read 3% Man 10 to 15 times. Because all of us have been propagandized by seeing movies and TV shows over the course of our lives. Plus, we’ve got social conditioning on top of that, so we have become emotionally anchored to and have learned ways to interact with other human beings, especially members of the opposite sex, that are unnatural and they’re dysfunctional. They ruin the natural sexual polarity between masculine and feminine energy.

And you see this not only in the heterosexual relationships, but gay and lesbian relationships, as well. When you have unbalanced sexual polarity and people acting out of alignment with their natural essence, they’re going to repel their partners. And, like I’ve said, we all make our decisions based upon emotions, and you can see all three of these guys got all up in their feelings and their emotions, and they are completely ignoring the reality of what they’re involved in.

And I know I’m going to probably be harsh and on some of these guys, they deserve it. Especially, the last guy didn’t listen. He started following my work two, three years ago, thumbed through the book twice, figured he’d got it, read a bunch of other books, and then married a girl after dating her for only six months. And then, he’s wondering why he’s struggling. His wife is bitchy to him, she’s condescending, she’s short, she nitpicks at him all the time. It’s obvious she doesn’t respect him as a man. A big part of it, obviously, is he didn’t learn the book. And number two, he may or may not have vetted her properly. He doesn’t really give enough information. He spends about the first 60% of his email justifying why he didn’t read the book 10 to 15 times. There’s a lot of stuff that’s missing from his situation, so it’s kind of hard to tell what’s really going on.

People don’t take me seriously. Same thing I see in my phone sessions. Guys that struggle the most, I always ask them, “How many times you read the book?” “Oh, I haven’t read it. I’ve been following you for five years. I just got around to starting it about a month ago when things went sideways.” I’ve never had a phone session that I can remember with somebody that read the book 15, 20 times and applied it. Because when I see that, those are the success stories. It’s usually the guys that don’t listen that are cutting corners. They’re kind of arrogant and full of themselves. They feel like it’s beneath them to have to even read a book, and especially to read a book 10 to 15 times.

I’ve seen there’s internet forums out there, and all people do is cry about the fact that I’m always breaking people’s balls and telling them to read the book 10 to 15 times. If you’re going through life and you’re acting in ways that are completely unattractive and you don’t learn what those behaviors are and stop doing them, you’re going to continue to turn off women for the same exact reason. And when you have adopted a mindset that all of us have adopted, in this society that is dysfunctional, it’s unnatural, and it’s the opposite oftentimes of the way we need to show up, it’s not easy to overcome that.

So, thumbing through a book once or twice and learning some information… I mean, remember, you’re only going to retain maybe 7-8%, maybe 10% if you’re really super smart, of what you read each time you go through it. And so, for a guy that’s thumbed through the book twice, what do you get, 10-12% of the book? So, he’s still got the other 80-90% of his mindset and his thinking, that he doesn’t even think about, that is causing him to display unattractive behaviors. And so, you’re literally working against yourself without even realizing it. It’s like what Confucius said, “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” And if you don’t take the time to really learn the material backwards and forwards, you’re going to have a ton of blind spots. You’re going to be doing things that you have no idea is unattractive and turning the other person off.

First Viewer’s Email:

Corey,

I was with my girlfriend for 3 years, her baby daddy (ex) would always be in the background.

Well, obviously, if she has a kid with him, that’s understandable. And part of when you’re dating, if you’re dating a girl that has a baby daddy – because you see a lot of the guys in the red pill community like, “Oh, single mom? That’s it, she’s out!” – maybe the guy died, maybe got hit by a bus. Maybe the guy cheated on her, who knows? It doesn’t mean every single woman who has a kid is a bad person and you shouldn’t date them. But there are a lot of them that are messed up, which we obviously have to be honest about that.

And this is why you vet, because character is destiny. You’re trying to determine what her character is like. What’s her relationship like with her ex? Do they get along, or are they constantly fighting it out in the courts, and in their front yards, yelling and screaming at each other? Because if you get involved with somebody like that, then their drama becomes your drama. And we’re all about having drama free lives here.

So, when you see stuff like that, when you see somebody that’s got a messy situation with an ex that they have to be involved in because they have children with them – and you’re like, “Yeah, I can work with this. It will be no problem. It’ll be great!” – and then, you get into a relationship with them and it’s a train wreck, I mean, you did it yourself.

But again, we all, both men and women, make our decisions based on our emotions, and then we use logic and reason to justify it. And you can tell with this guy, he’s still trying to justify it, “I can fix this. I can I can turn this around. I can use your book and make her a good woman.” It’s like, that’s not how it works, man. It doesn’t work that way. You can’t change people, especially when they don’t even want to change themselves.

I’ve watched your videos and read your book a few times over the years.

That already tells me he’s not a serious student. Serious students read it 10 to 15 times in a short period of time, and they apply it relentlessly. I mean, one of the emails yesterday was a guy who’s been with his girlfriend, and he’s 63 now. So, he met his girlfriend when he was 60. And prior to that, I think he said he went out with 60 different women over 18 months. And that’s 60 different women on dates. That doesn’t even include all the different women that he talked to, so, that guy was a serious student.

He’d had two divorces in his life up until that point, and that wasn’t until his second divorce. He was very successful in every other area of his life, but when it came to women, he was not good at vetting them properly. And for three years going, he’s with a total 10, (a woman that’s a total of 10 in his eyes), and it’s easy and effortless. But he continues to read the book. He didn’t say, “Oh, well, I’ve got this. I’m done,” three years ago. He continually re-reads it at least once or twice a year to refresh his memory, so he can notice if he’s doing anything that is going to be detrimental to his success.

Because remember, we still live in this society that is constantly bombarding us with television and movie programming and propaganda that is unnatural, it’s dysfunctional, and it’s against the true nature of the way the Creator made us. So, if you go against that true nature, if you go against reality, you’re going to suffer pain. And so, when I see somebody, “Oh yeah, I’ve been through it a few times,” this is somebody that’s just half-assing it. And so, he brings these problems on himself.

It helps, but I don’t know what to do in this situation.

Well, again, that’s why I say read it 10 to 15 times, but you haven’t listened. Because it’s easier to be lazy. It’s easier to just go, “Oh, I don’t know what to do in this situation. Your book helped, but I only went through a few times. I know I didn’t follow instructions, Corey, but I’m busy. What’s the shortcut? What’s the magic pickup line that fixes all of this?”

This guy abused her so bad, but she learned how to be an abuser from him, so I would always be ready to kick her out of the place I paid for, because I didn’t feel respected by her and she didn’t like being kicked out. I would always tell her to respect my stuff and me, and it wouldn’t happen, but it’s always my fault apparently.

Yeah. Well, it is your fault, because you keep taking her back, and you keep giving her another chance. You’re ignoring reality, and you obviously are unable to ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.

Why would she go back to her ex, when it never works out with him…

For the same reason that you keep taking her back.

…and she was with me for 3 years? Yes, it’s been awhile since she forgot the negative feelings with him, but I’m a strong provider for her, and I supported her through a lot and helped her get the job she has now.

Yeah, but women don’t care how much you like them or what a good dude you are. They only care about how they feel about you. And because you’re continually displaying unattractive beta male behavior, she doesn’t respect you. She’s looking for masculinity, she’s desperate for it, and she bounces back and forth between you and her ex. And neither one of you are obviously providing it.

Again, you’re not paying attention to the fact that we’re all constantly propagandized by memes and themes and archetypes that are the opposite of the way we should be behaving, and most of us don’t even realize it. And so, when you just half-ass it with the book, eventually, the propaganda overtakes you, and you just go back to the way you used to be, because you’re not really serious about trying to change it. It’s like, you know you’re in the Matrix, but you’re like, ignorance is bliss.

What should I do? We have been exchanging closure texts, and I feel like I texted a little too much.

Again, it’s “I’ve got to get her attention. I got to seek her approval.” This is what the movies teach, “chase her, act like a stalker, and eventually she’ll fall in love and see what a great guy you are.” That’s not how it works.

I haven’t told her to call me if it doesn’t work. I only told her it wasn’t going to work with him and why not consider change with the person you are going through it with? She told me they agreed to change.

Well, good luck to her and to him. Hopefully, she stays with this guy so you can move on, instead of pining after a woman who’s a ratchet and is never going to change. Can you imagine having a kid with her? And now, you’ve got her bouncing back to back and forth between you and her two baby daddies. Does that sound like a fun life? Is that the kind of woman you want raising your kids? I mean, most of us can read this email and go, “Come on, dude. What are you thinking?” But when you’re in it, your emotions and your logic and reason justify it all.

It’s been one week since she walked away, (I dropped her off). We went through a fight, but it was the biggest one we have had in a while.

Bob

You can’t fix this. You can’t make good wine from bad grapes. If she’s a mess, if she’s dysfunctional, which obviously she is, the best thing you can do is read the book and actually start acting like a man, which will create attraction from her, and she’ll probably bounce back to you as soon as the other guy screws up. Which, it never worked. I don’t know how many times she tried to make it work with that guy, but it ain’t going to work. And if you act like a man consistently, she’ll probably come back at some point, but you’ll have other choices and other options.

And hopefully, you’ll use what’s actually in the book to vet women, so when you see this kind of ratchet behavior, or she’s got a messy relationship with her ex and they’re both kind of jackasses, just say, “Bye. No, thanks. I think you’re great, but we’re just not a good fit.” That’s okay. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. On to the next.

Second Viewer’s Email:

Hey Coach,

I was the guy in the video newsletter “My Ex Came Back, But Stonewalled Me!” Since then, I have listened to your audiobook several times…

Obviously not 10 to 15 times.

…and it honestly hurts to listen to it, seeing all the ways I went from the man in control in the relationship to turning into the woman who was always trying to please her.

Again, this is what I was talking about, the propaganda. In every sitcom, what have you got? You’ve got the bumbling, stupid idiot husband who acts like a little girl, and yet he’s got this very masculine, beautiful, stoic wife that acts like a man. Because we’ve got to have “boss girls.” You know, “girls can do everything that guys can do,” and all that other BS that the people on the left try to ram down our throats, which is unnatural. It’s not true. It doesn’t work in the real world. But yet you get propagandized by this, and whatever you observe, you participate in, in life.

And this is one of the reasons why I almost never watch any TV. I hardly ever watch movies, for that matter. It’s just so much garbage. If I do watch anything, it’s typically going to be a podcast or maybe some kind of documentary where I can actually learn something that’s useful or of value. But most sitcoms and entertainment movies are just garbage, especially now with all the woke ass nonsense that they’re trying to ram down our throats.

I hear, “Indiana Jones,” they’ve got one more movie, and then he’s going to turn it over to a girl. So, now we’re going to have a female “Indiana Jones,” because Hollywood wants to try to prove to everybody that girls can do everything guys can do, which is just physically, simply not true. That’s a fact of life, yet when you live in a world of fantasy and make believe, they’ll keep doing it. I think with Roger Simon, he said “the essence of modern liberalism is based upon lying, and it begins with lying to the self.”

All you’ve got to do is look at the stuff going on with Twitter, that Vijaya Gadde chick that was a in charge of the Trust and Safety and all the stuff that’s coming out about the shadow banning. They go and they testify, “Oh, we don’t shadow ban.” They have another name for it. I think it was like “virtual reach,” or “visual frequency,” or something like that. So, they had shadow banning, they just had a different name. So, they were able to go in front of Congress and testify and go, “Oh yeah, we don’t shadow ban,” because they don’t call it shadow banning, they call it something else.

But it was there. We all knew it was there, but then, finally, Elon Musk releases documents through Bari Weiss and Matt Taibbi, and then we see what we knew all along. And you can just see, even now. Like the guy, Yoel Roth, or whatever his name was, who was the former Trust and Safety guy that Elon kept on initially and then the dude left, if you just listen to the guy talk, his whole reality is built upon bullshit. His whole life, his whole worldview, how he interacts in the world is all built on bullshit and false reality. And so, when you consume content orchestrated or made by these kinds of people, you’re getting their delusional view of the world imposed on you, and you don’t even realize it. Remember, what you observe you participate in.

So, you’ve got to pay very close attention to the movies and TV shows that you consume. Because you can be reading my book, but when you’re getting propagandized, whether it’s news, or movies, or TV, and you’re not really taking the time to learn the material, nothing’s going to change. Even if you learn some things, you’re going to slowly revert back, because you haven’t changed your baseline operating system.

Things didn’t end up working out, and we stopped talking for another month. She eventually came back again. I invited her over, and we had fun, but I had still pedestalized her…

Again, this is what TV tells us to do. But if you look at the old movies, like “It’s a Wonderful Life,” the women were pedestalizing the men and trying to get the most eligible best bachelors to marry them and live happily ever after.

…as I couldn’t make the move to lead things to the bedroom, so I failed at HHH, [hang out, have fun, hook up].

If you treat a woman like a celebrity, and she’ll treat you like a fan.

Despite this, we had a dumb talk about how we should just keep things casual between us. She then told me her son wanted me to go trick-or-treating with them, so I figured why not. Again, we hung out, had fun, and I made the move to hookup, but she kept mentioning she felt ticklish and would stop the process. As I left later on, her kisses seemed passionless.

I had set up a date for her to come over and spend the night then go out the next day. During that week, she called me 4 straight days and would keep talking to me for a couple of hours.

This is not what the book teaches. You don’t have a relationship over the phone for two hours a day. That’s not how it works, dude. You get together in person. When you spend two hours a day talking to your girl on the phone, you’re her emotional tampon or her gay male boyfriend. You’re not the guy she’s having sex with.

But I figured it was okay because she did 90% of the talking.

Again, you do these in person, because then after all of the talking and she feels opened up, guess what? Hang out, have fun, hook up.

One day I didn’t answer her call and she texted me, “YOU NEED TO ANSWER MY CALL!!!!”

Does that sound like a secure woman? Does that sound like somebody you want to be in a relationship with? Especially based upon the fact it’s not going anywhere. The reason she talked to him that way is because she’s very condescending and weak, and she’s used to walking all over him.

So, when I called her back she questioned me, “Where were you, why didn’t you answer?” I played it cool and just let her know I was busy. Anyhoo, the night she was supposed to spend the night, she had mentioned she felt overwhelmed, because she still needed to pack for a cruise she was going on in a couple of days and asked if it would be okay if she cancelled. I told her, “Honestly, I want you to spend the night, but if staying home to pack will make you feel less stressed, then that’s okay.” She didn’t end up coming.

What a shock. Because you spent all that time on the phone with her. You spend all the time talking on the phone, and you hardly ever see her in person. This is right out of the book, dude.

Then the next day, I told her I’d just meet her at the theater, and she said okay. One hour before, she cancelled again saying she didn’t finish packing and she is so overwhelmed.

What she’s basically saying is, “I’m drier inside than the Sahara Desert. You’re just not turning me on. So, I think I’m going to stay home and pack, because that’s so much more fun.”

I thought this was incredibly rude, so I told her no worries, just wished she would’ve told me sooner.

Just like a “nice guy.”

She replied back without an apology but just more excuses.

Yeah, because he buys every single one of them, just like the guys on TV do.

I replied hours later saying, “don’t worry about it, have a good vacation.” She never replied to that. I have been in no contact for 1 month. She has posted cryptic quotes about me on Facebook, which sucks, and she views all my stories. 

So, what. She ain’t calling you, she ain’t getting together with you. What do you think now, talking for two hours a day, four days in a row on the phone? Was that a good idea? Obviously not. It’s the opposite of what the book teaches. It says don’t do that, and it explains why you don’t do that, and yet, you do it anyway. If you claim to have read the book and you do the opposite, I can’t help you. You’re still displaying all of this unattractive behavior, like a beta male.

I met another girl I’ve been hanging out with, but I’m kind of bleh about her. Why is it so hard for me to let the toxic one go?

Because rejection breeds obsession. She blew you off and jerked you around. You put her on a pedestal, treated her like a celebrity, and she treated you like dirt. And you deserved it, because you weren’t man enough to act like a man. So, she treats you like a little boy, a little emotional tampon. And what do what do women do with tampons when they’re done using them? Yeah, exactly. They go right in the trash.

Did I handle this correctly?

Sure. Sure you did.

My ex is very insecure and needs constant reassurance. 

Bob

Why would you want to be in a relationship with somebody like that? It’s not your job to be her therapist or to be her white knight. You want somebody that’s ready, willing, able and open to dating you, a woman who is easygoing, easy to get along with. Does this woman sound easygoing, easy to get along with? Absolutely not.

Third Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

First of all, I can never thank you enough for your work, and how much it helped change my life.

Oh, I’m sure.

I’m 33 now. Until 2021, I’d been a completely different person. Now that I look back, I understand I’d been what you could call a pathological nice guy, and an extremely needy and insecure person. My long term girlfriend had cheated on me 8 years ago, and I had very little success with women. All I attracted were women with narcissistic and borderline traits, and the good ones steered clear of me.

Yeah, because you acted like a beta male, and there was no sexual polarity there, therefore, they saw you as a friend. And the only reason you attracted narcissists is because you had such a low opinion of yourself, and that’s what narcissists look for, people that they can manipulate and walk all over. It validates how they show up in life. It validates their model of the world.

Then, at my wit’s end in 2020, I stumbled upon your work on YouTube. I used to watch your videos for hours on end after work.

And so, that was his justification for not reading the book.

I bought 3% Man and reinventing your life,

I assume he’s talking about “Mastering Yourself,” but it’s not “reinventing your life.” It’s called, “Mastering Yourself – How to Align Your Life With Your True Calling and Reach Your Full Potential.”

…and started changing myself. I’d bookmark and listen to them during my walk. I’ll be honest with you, I’ve read each of your two books twice.

And you wonder why you’re struggling. There is no way you can read “3% Man” twice and completely undo all of the propaganda that you have consumed over the course of your life that you were emotionally anchored to. Remember, we’re all going to make our moves, or avoid making our moves, based upon our emotions. And if you’re emotionally anchored to dysfunctional ways of showing up in the world, half-assing it, thumbing through a book twice, and watching a few videos, the cherry picking ain’t going to fix that.

Because what happens is what you observe, you participate in. So, for a short period of time, you’re observing this work, you’re implementing it. You get good results, you get cocky, you get full of yourself, and then you stop consuming it. And then what happens? Three years later, you meet a girl. And since you were not participating in observing this stuff, you went back to exclusively consuming the propaganda that’s in TV, and movies, and the news, and the rest of the media. You just slowly went right back to the exact way you were.

I’ve also read Mark Manson, John Maxwell, Robert Glover and Bruce Bryan’s work and many other books on masculinity that I’d stumbled upon.

So, you read a bunch of dudes and got a bunch of jumbled up information, probably conflicting information, and didn’t really change your behavior.

I became a Gamma Male from a Beta.

There is either the Alpha, who goes for it, or the Beta, who shrinks from being masculine. The Alpha does what a man supposed to do, the Beta does not. That’s the difference. If you want to come up with a bunch of other names in the middle, pronouns or whatever, you can do all that. But I don’t know what the hell a Gamma male is. It sounds like fucking nonsense.

And that redemption has been the best thing of my life. I changed my personality, physique and body language. I realized I do not identify with, nor can sustain pure Alpha Personality.

So what that tells me is, “I pursue the things I want sometimes, but I can’t maintain it. And so, I go back to being Beta.” Beta shrinks, Alpha is courageous. Beta has no courage, Alpha has courage. That’s the difference. It’s pretty simple. All human beings know what Alpha and Beta is, and Gamma and Sigma and all of this other crap that people come up with, it’s just things that make them feel good about not doing what they know they need to do to change their lives. It’s just like a mental circle jerk.

Then last year, I met a woman who seemed very caring, compassionate and had intense attraction for me. She’d chase me around while I ignored her, (not playing hard to get, but being more dedicated to my career and passion). Slowly, I fell in love with her. We went on dates that were terrific, ending in fiery sex for hours. There were a few red flags that I ignored.

Again, because you only read the book twice.

Like she would suffer from anger outbursts and depressive episodes.

Easygoing, easy to get along with – I say it all the time. Anger outbursts and depressive episodes are not easygoing, easy to get along with. That’s a major red flag. You’re like, “This is fine. This is fine. This will be okay.”

We got married 6 months after the first date.

Well, I say you should date for 2 to 3 years. People can hide who they are for the first 90 days. So, you basically had about three months, and everything is skewed because now you’re engaged to get married. God, that is just dumb to get married like that. Jesus.

Remember, we all make our decisions based upon our emotions, and then we use logic and reason. And he uses logic and reason to go, “Oh, yeah, the anger outbursts, I can work with that. No problem. Depressive episodes, no problem.” You can date women that have mental health issues as long as they’re taking care of themselves, but this woman is not taking care of herself. It’s not your job to fix her. You want a woman that’s fixed all that, that has got her life in order so she’s a good teammate, and you just completely ignored that she was a mess. It’s like, “Captain Save-a-Hoe to the rescue!”

As the honeymoon period was over, her caring nature turned into control, and her anger outbursts worsened.

I’m shocked. I can’t believe it, it worsened. Really? Really shocking.

She’d tested me often, most of which I passed. She is caring to me…

Well, it really sounds like it.

…and very kind to my dogs, but when she’d be in a bad mood, all hell would break loose.  

This is why you date for two or three years. You don’t marry her after six months from your first date.

In the end, in short, they could be well managed with the skills you teach.

How do you know, dude? You never even learned the skills I teach.

Though it took some time for me to practically apply them.

Again, you read the book twice, three years ago. You’re deluding yourself about what you know about my work.

She still respects me as a leader in this relationship…

Oh, yeah, definitely, she respects you as a leader. If she respected you, she wouldn’t talk to you that way. This is more delusion.

…and submits to me after passing her tests. We also went to therapy a couple of times.

Well, that sounds like fun.

Though, it was of little help. Not every coach acknowledges masculinity, right?

Now, I am facing one problem repeatedly which I can’t solve. When she’s in a bad mood, I’d lovingly ask her to open up. She’d open up by criticizing me.

Ooh, boy, that sounds fun. That’s when you’ve got to say, “Look, you’ve got to be nice to me, sweet to me. I want to make you happy. But talking to me in this tone, or calling me names, or getting angry, that doesn’t work. We can’t fix anything if you’re going to be that way. It’s insulting. It’s condescending. I’m supposed to be the man of your dreams, and you’re talking to me like I’m some punk that didn’t fix your car properly and ripped you off, or something.” But again, you married her after six months, bro. You’re already in it, now. Congratulations.

I’d listen patiently and quietly. She’d criticize me more. She’d nitpick and start crossing my boundaries.

She doesn’t respect you as a man, because you’re not acting like a man consistently. That’s why this is what’s going on. She might be a total lunatic. Well, I mean, we know she’s got depressive issues, and we know she’s got anger issues, and you married her anyway. It just shows that most people don’t put hardly any thought into who they’re going to marry. “Oh, it’s great. I feel good. Let’s get married.”

I don’t justify a lot and try to come up with humor, but when she is crossing my boundaries of self respect, I do justify my actions and firmly set boundaries with her.

He’s not specific about what that means or what that looks like, so I don’t know.

And that’s when she says, “There you go! Why did you even ask me to open up? You are insensible, always justify,” blah, blah, blah.

How do I deal with this problem? Please help.

Bob

Well, you haven’t really gotten into details. It’s just, you’re basically like, “Oh, I didn’t vet her properly, and I married a girl who’s got depressive issues and anger management issues.” So, I would encourage you to watch the video “How to Communicate with Women Effectively.” That would be a good thing to do. But you’ve got to read the book, because if she’s nitpicking you, and condescending to you, and bitchy and complains a lot, that tells me she doesn’t respect you as a man, and that means you’re not showing up as a man. That means you allow her to treat you like a doormat.

And women can’t love men they don’t respect. And she obviously doesn’t respect you, so I seriously doubt she even loves you. She may care for you, but she definitely don’t love you. Because if she was in love with you and afraid of losing you, she wouldn’t be talking to you this way. But then again, this was going on when you were dating her, and you just ignored it like it was all fine and dandy. So, I’d have to know more.

But, like I said, the biggest thing you can do is to start acting like a man consistently. If she’s sweet and kind, you stick around. If she’s not, you go for a drive, you go for a walk. Go spend time with your friends, go see your mother, go do things. Go work out, go hang out with the guys. You reward people with your time and attention who deserve it. When people are abusive and they refuse to talk to you in a calm, loving manner, then you don’t stick around. Because when you stick around and you tolerate it, you’re inviting more of it. Remember, no one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do.

And so, like I said, I would learn the book, I’d learn the material, because I don’t know what you’re doing to open her up. It sounds like you’re kind of arguing with her or trying to argue with her. But I can tell from what she’s saying, she doesn’t feel heard and understood. So, you may think you’re making her feel heard and understood, but obviously from her actions, what she’s saying to you, she doesn’t feel heard and understood.

So, I don’t know exactly what you’re saying in the conversations, but it’s not working. Because, again, you don’t know the material. So, if you don’t know material, why should you be surprised that you’re three years down the road after you first came across my work, and now you’re married to somebody that you didn’t vet properly, and she’s walking all over you?

“Success depends upon prior preparation, and without said preparation, there is sure to be failure.” Confucius said that thousands of years ago, and I mean, these three emails are perfect examples of it. I know it’s harsh, but I’m not here to blow sunshine up anybody’s ass. I’m here to tell you like it is, because there’s going to be a lot of guys and girls that are going to watch this video and see that and go, “whew!” And it’s going to save them all the heartache that these guys are experiencing. So, even from people’s failures, we can learn a lot and avoid pain in our own eyes.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.