Why true love is willing to let them go when they want to leave.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email update from a viewer whose two previous emails I answered in my video newsletters titled, “Finding Love Again After A Bad Break-Up” and the most recent, “Purpose, Love & Regret.” He shares what happened after he let his woman go because of her career opportunities and what seemed like an impasse between them.
He had to let her go to pursue her amazing career opportunities, which was very painful for him. However, she chose him over her career and, hopefully, they will live happily ever after. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
This particular guy, I think he said he’s in the finance industry. His girlfriend is also very successful, has a great career, just got a promotion, the kind of thing that she’d been working for for years. And so, he lives in the States, she lives in Canada, and he didn’t want to live in Canada because what they had talked about last time was him potentially living there, because he can work anywhere he wants to. But he doesn’t want to live there, he has no desire to. He doesn’t like the area, doesn’t like the town, the people. He’s like me, he’s more conservative, so they end up breaking up.
And he was obviously pretty upset about it, because they’d been dating several years. She’s like, “You’re the best relationship I’ve ever had, best boyfriend I ever had.” And he asked me what to do in “Purpose, Love & Regret,” that that email, and I told them what a man needs to do. No matter what, he’s got to follow his purpose, he’s got to follow his heart. And he’s not going to submit to a woman and move to her city, just so she can keep her career and make himself miserable.
I’ve done quite a few video newsletters over the years with guys that did exactly that. They moved. I remember one guy I did a phone session with, and he had moved from another country to where this particular woman lived. I think it was actually the United States. He literally move from Europe to the United States after dating for I think about a year or two, and literally within two weeks of him getting here, she dumps him. And so, now he’s living in a country that he moved to, not because necessarily he wanted to live here, but because of the girlfriend, and then she dumps them.
They both worked at the same company. He waited, he put his time in, got a transfer, got moved over, and then she dumps him. And she was the only person that he knew here, and so you can imagine, that really sucks. And that’s part of the problem. When a guy does something to submit to or to please a woman, it’s not what he really wants, he’s not congruent with it, but he does it anyway, because he thinks that’s going to make her happy. And she dumps him. I mean, she literally waits until he gets here and then doesn’t really even want to spend any time with them. And granted, he had made a few mistakes. But I mean, that’s just cold.
And so, here you’ve got a situation where a guy’s face with the same kind of dilemma. He didn’t want to live in Canada, and he knew saying no to that and since she just got a great opportunity in her career that it potentially really would be the end of this great relationship that they’ve had. So, now we get an update of what’s happened a few months later.
Remember, the strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. And as a man, a man’s got to follow his purpose and mission. And a woman will follow him as long as he makes her feel safe and comfortable, as long as he takes care of the things he’s supposed to take care of as a man. She will trust his leadership and follow him anywhere, provided she’s in love with him.
Like I talk about in How To Be A 3% Man, the interest level table, which is in the chapter “It’s All In The Numbers,” where I go through, a woman on a scale of 0-5, this is what she does and says. Five-6, this is what she does and says. Obviously, 9-10 is the kind of things that she does when she’s in love. And this woman was definitely in love with this guy, as you will see shortly.
You can imagine, this is not a pleasant thing. You think, two or three years they were together, and now you’re thinking, because of you’re career, because of you’re mission, there’s a good chance you’re going to lose your woman. That’s not a fun thing. And then the radio silence and the time apart, that’s a horrible thing to go through. But it’s great, because it brings clarity to all hearts involved.
Hello original 3% man, the bald wizard, the teacher of boys and men. Here is the third and final email of my love life after learning the ways of the 3% man. If you don’t recall, the first email that I sent off was titled “Finding Love Again After A Bad Break-up.” The second email was titled “Purpose, Love & Regret.” This will be my last newsletter to all your viewers who want a fulfilled loving relationship.
Coming from a guy who lost everything and didn’t know anything about maintaining a relationship properly. Here is my last installment of my progress in being the best man I can be in this life.
So, he’s graduating to the club of the 3% Man.
As I said in my last email, she did come over for a month and a half.
What they would do is they would travel, and I think she had like a month and a half before her new job was starting, so she got some time off. So, they spent a lot of quality time together.
We had an amazing time being with each other and making memories traveling all over the states, (and doing the deed in every hotel). We even went to Florida.
The Free State of Florida, you mean, where ‘Heavy D’ is the governor — one of freedom’s final stands in the United States. Will we go full communist, or will we stay a free nation? It’s not passed on. You have to fight for it.
I have to say, downtown Orlando is pretty dull, ha-ha.
Yeah, there’s lots of homeless people, it smells like piss everywhere. It ain’t like it used to be when I moved up to Orlando 25 years ago.
But Miami South Beach was to fun.
Well, South Beach is getting pretty ratchet as well. The building I used to live in, a really nice, high end luxury building down there in South Beach, there was a shooting at a restaurant and several of the bullets hit the building. Obviously, some of my former billionaire neighbors don’t like their building getting shot up.
Especially the endless brunch drag show, had a blast. I get why you lived in South Beach — so much booty everywhere, even my girl was impressed.
When she came to the States, we had the talk about the moving situation again, if I could move to Canada. I told her in the most respectful way that I just would not be happy if I moved there.
That’s his truth. You’ve got to live and speak your truth.
This time, she changed her mind about moving to the States and said that she could not leave her purpose for me.
The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. So this is kind of the moment where she basically says, “I’m not going to give up my career.” He could live anywhere for his new job in the finance industry, but he didn’t live in Canada. And he didn’t want to move there just to please her, because he’d be unhappy.
She told me she has a great career in Toronto, her family and friends are there, and that is the place she wants to live. I could tell the conversation was getting too serious and made a joke, and she just gave me this look.
Yeah, probably not the appropriate time to make a joke about something like this.
Big mistake. I joked one too many times of a serious topic that was worrying her.
There’s a time and a place for humor.
To her credit, she let it go and we continued on with our trip, but this would come to haunt me in the end.
In regards to her personality, she is very career oriented — a modern-day woman, but has feminine qualities of being submissive, overall great lady. But being from Toronto, the “feminist movement” is strong over there, so her friends convinced her that I should be the one to leave my career to start a new relationship with her and support her.
Yeah, no. Maybe soy boys would do that, but not a man.
So, I am assuming over time she was convinced otherwise not to move for me and continue with her original plans previous to dating me.
Well, attraction and interest level cuts through everything.
After the travels, she went back to Toronto, and I started work in Finance in Louisiana. She called me in regards to the same topic, and I adamantly told her that I loved her and I wanted us to continue the relationship but I was not going to move to Canada.
So, remember, she’s trying to see if he’ll cave, even saying, “I’m not giving up my career for you.” It’s like, “Babe, I love you, but I can’t live in Canada. I can’t do it. Don’t want to do it. It’s not exciting. It’s not the future I want.”
She was more quiet than usual and then started sobbing on the phone and told me she feared that our relationship was going to end sooner or later, because she feared that we both weren’t going to budge in the moving situation.
Well, at the end of the day, he’s the one with the penis, he’s the man. And if he’s going to be the leader of the household, of their family, and she may be a stay-at-home mom at some point to raise their babies, he’s got to show that he’s man enough to lose it all in order to follow his purpose and mission.
A man does what he must, even if it means he loses his relationship. The woman submits to the man, not the other way around, I’m sure that it pisses off a lot of feminists, but I don’t fucking care. They get pissed off because they never had a real man in their lives.
She said everything was amazing in this relationship, but she just could not up and leave for me, and she told me she wanted to break up.
“Babe, I love you, but don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. You’ll be back.” She’ll be back. That’s the attitude you’ve got to have. Guys like us don’t come along too often; 3% men are pretty rare.
I know where I went wrong. I didn’t make her feel safe and comfortable and basically changed the subject every time she wanted to have a serious conversation. There was sadness on both sides. She was crying, saying how much she loved me and if only If I moved to Canada, we could keep this relationship going.
So, therefore, it’s all your fault if we break up. A man does what he must. That’s why men go off to war, and many times they don’t come back or they don’t come back with all their pieces.
And even though I didn’t want the relationship to end, I knew my purpose and my internal feelings of Canada. (Note: I have a lot of Canadian friends. I do not hate you guys. It’s just your government is a liberal dictatorship right now.)
I agree. Fuck the communists.
So, I told her, “I love you. I don’t want this to end, but I don’t want to be a bartender for 3 years and hate myself for not pursuing my purpose.”
Bingo. Very nicely put.
“If you think this is best thing for you, I want what’s best for you. I love you and want your happiness most importantly.”
If you love somebody, you want them to be happy, even if it’s not with you. And she’s saying, “I’m going to choose my career over you and babies.” Let’s see how this works out.
“If you want to break up because you do not want to move here, I understand and I’ll respect your decision to end this relationship.” She sobbed and cried, and it was gut wrenching.
Oh, I know it was, dude.
She told me I was the best boyfriend and she wanted me to know I was one of a kind, but in the end, she said it was best for the both of us if we split.
“Okay, babe.” She’ll be back. Remember that video I did? “She’ll Be Back.” And if she’s not, hey, well then you know. You’ll know where you stand.
The old break-up pain came back ten-fold, but for some reason I was more prepared than last time.
Well, you obviously have the Coach in your corner, and quite frankly, I always stack the deck of cards in your favor. You’re welcome. This little gem right here. Even if you don’t believe, even if you think I’m full of shit, just apply what I teach you and you’ll see that it works for you.
I was sick to my stomach, and for a couple of days I could barely work without thinking of her, but at the end of the day, I knew she loved me, and I loved her, and I had to love in such a way so the other person feels free.
So, I didn’t contact her and continued work feeling absolutely like shit, ha-ha.
Unlike the toxic red pill community…
Yes, very toxic.
…I respected her, and I didn’t label her with any hateful terms or blamed modern women.
Oh, by the way, Jennifer and I have filmed a series on “The Rational Male.” We’re going to talk about a lot of topics in there, and we’re going to talk about Rollo Tomassi. There might be some fireworks, might be some carpet bombing, some flamethrowers. Weakness will not be tolerated.
I understood where she was coming from and let her go with love. Is that so hard, guys?
A man does what he must.
Letting go and understanding it was just not meant to be with that girl and not calling her awful names.
It’s just an unperturbable man doing what he must, even though it tears him up inside. He’s got to do what he must.
This email is already long, so I’ll cut half of the message she sent me one night, “My Handsome man, I’m sorry too that this happened to us. I truly didn’t want to do this and didn’t wake up this morning thinking this would happen at the end of the day. You were the perfect man, gentleman and boyfriend to me. Always. You taught me what a good relationship is like, how a good man should treat is girl, and how a woman should be there for her boyfriend. You always made me laugh and relaxed when I was stressed.”
He was unperturbable.
“You knew how to make everything feel lighter and always made me feel sexy when I knew I looked not so sexy. You showed me what true devotion looks like. You are one of a kind and the best man I have met. I wish there were less obstacles in front of us. I will miss you and I will always love you.”
I wrote back some things back, but I did keep it playful and sexual in the end of message saying, “P.S. if you ever want your face mushed in a pillow, you can grab a flight to see me.”
He’s leaving the door open. He’s not saying get lost, he’s just saying, “Babe, come home whenever you’re ready. Home is where I am.”
She instantly replied, “Ha-ha, I am looking on Google at flights right now.”
Of course she is. See how that works? See how that melts? It melts the heart of heart.
Then something happened without pleading or logically explaining for her to stay with me. A few days later I got a call from her saying she made a huge mistake…
Remember what I said? She’ll be back.
…and did not want to lose me, and did not care about her career and would be willing to start a new one for me.
She asked if it was too late to get me back. And of course, I accepted but gave her a humorous jab saying, “Well, I better tell the other girls to get back in line, but you’re going to have to earn me back.” She replied, “Oh, I have plenty of ways to earn you back plus more to cement it.”
Huh, imagine that. It’s as predictable as the sun coming up in the East and setting in the West.
She is now in the process of leaving her job and applying to work in the U.S. and move in with me.
I’m shocked, shocked, I tell you. This is only happening because he acted like a fucking man. He didn’t buy into any of that bullshit toxicity from the toxic part of the red pill community, which is rife with fucking beta male insurrectionists, slimy, wormy ass fucking people. Ugh. But I digress.
I do not know what is going to happen in the future between her and I, but she has been more loving and feminine than ever with me.
Yeah, because you’re the man. THE man. He’s a dangerous but kind man, because he’s also an MMA fighter, who’s retired now.
Her friends, even though I believe they tried to convince her to not move, are now approving of the move and saying, “Well, he is an amazing man.”
Yes, because he’s a man, a MAN. And so, they support her moving for a MAN.
I want this story shared, because this is so important. The reason for my success is not because she came back. It is because I put in the work and became a 3% man, regardless if she came back or not. I have become a different man entirely, where women and men notice.
Even her friends changed their minds. But then again, they’re women and it’s a woman’s prerogative to change their mind. Gracie, Jennifer and I did a video on that, and it’s pretty funny.
I owe it all to Corey Wayne. I have become the better me, following my purpose and having a loving girlfriend come and complement my life.
I will still make mistakes, but I can now look back and realize by myself where I went wrong, and not search Coach Corey Wayne newsletters to solve my issues.
You have graduated Padawan, and you must pass on what you have learned to all the men in your community.
I have become independent like Corey Wayne always wanted, when we are all self-sufficient. If you want success, grind it out and listen or read the damn book 10-15 times and implement it, and sooner or later you will see the results.
I will always respect and be eternally great full to you Coach. Your teaching molded me to who I am today, “A muthafucking man.”
P.S “You must love in such a way that the other person feels free,” internalize that ya’ll. I also left some pictures of us
Well, they’re great pictures, but I’m not going to share them because I’ve got to protect the identity of the innocent.
So, if you haven’t read “How To Be A 3% Man,” subscribe to the email newsletter at UnderstandingRelationships.com. You can read that plus, you can read my second book, “Mastering Yourself,” a book of Self-Reliance, and the third book, “Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations,” which is available everywhere.
And so, what I do in “Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations,” I basically take 250 random quotes from different articles I’ve done over the years. I read them and then I kind of freestyle whatever comes to mind or examples or stories, and you guys can go check out the reviews. The reviews are amazing, so I appreciate all the kind words everybody’s put on that. But it’s available on audio, paperback, hardcover, and digital format.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“A man must always follow his purpose and passion in life, because that is the embodiment of masculine energy. He must never give up his purpose for a woman or relationship, because a man must fulfill his destiny or forever live a life of regret. A woman who truly loves, trusts and feels safe with her man will follow him anywhere. The true test of her love and his leadership is his willingness to lose it all to complete his mission in life. The right woman will choose to be his teammate and greatest cheerleader. The wrong woman will let him go, because she was never really his anyway.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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