When To Stop Moving Forward Until She Asks You Out

When to stop moving forward until she asks you out after a bad date or being ghosted.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who provides an update from a previous newsletter where he got ghosted after allowing his date to be derailed by a drunk guy. The girl reached out after being cold and distant for several months and ghosting him. He asked her out and she ghosted him again. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “When To Stop Moving Forward Until She Asks You Out”.

So this email is an update from an email I did a couple of months back. This was the one where, “How to Handle Aggressive Men Trying to Derail Your Date”. So this viewer was taking a class with this woman who I guess she was a sheriff’s deputy. And so he invited her to go have a date after their class ended one day, and they went and they had drinks, and the bar was really packed. There was a lot of police officers in there. They were obviously off duty. And when he goes to the bar to get drinks, he comes back.

There’s a male cop sitting down in his seat. And he basically wouldn’t move. And then on top of that, his date was entertaining this. Inviting attention from this other guy, and he got really upset and pissed off. And then he was just, it just totally derailed his date. And I explained how I personally would have handled it because I’ve been in situations like this. It’s not a good idea to want to go and punch a guy that’s a cop, even though he’s off duty in a bar, despite the fact he’s drunk and being a jackass.

It’s not a good thing to do that in a bar full of police officers, because your ass is the one that’s going to jail. And they’ve got all the witnesses, they’re going to look out for their fellow cop and not you. I mean, that should be common sense. And so things have happened, you know, since then, she ghosted him when he tried to set up the next date. And she sat in another part of the class, just completely ignored him. And then he gave a speech.

And then after the class, she went up to him and he started talking to her. And then he went and invited her on another date. And then he texted her and she just fucking totally ghosted him. So it’s like, how do you know when to stop moving forward? When do you ask a woman out on a date? And when do you do nothing and make her ask you out on a date?

Viewer Email:

Hello Corey,

This is an update to, “How to Handle Aggressive Men Trying to Derail Your Date”.  I appreciate you answering my first newsletter. I took your advice after the sheriff ghosted me and focused on meeting other girls, school, and taking care of myself. I will admit, it was awkward seeing someone that ghosted me every week but like you told me in the live stream, “who cares.” The sheriff completely ignored me in class and sat somewhere else. It wasn’t until I was walking into the cafeteria one day that she was walking out. We exchanged hellos and that was it. That day I did a speech on,” How to build confidence through failure.”

I quoted a lot of your work and took a lot from the live stream when I asked you for some pointers. I could tell everyone liked my speech including the part, “How to Approach the Beautiful Women.” After class, I walked out on my own, and who was calling my name and wanting to talk to me? The sheriff. I couldn’t believe it, Corey, I said to myself, “That Corey Wayne. She’s coming back like a little kitty cat.” We talked and walked back to our cars before saying goodbye.

And so that’s all I would have done. I would have been nice. I would have been polite. But she blew you off. And so you’re not going to give any energy to that unless she reaches out to you.

Later that week she texted me out of the blue, to talk shit about the professor. I kept the conversation funny and light. I ended it with a heart emoji with her last message.

Which is again, all I would have done in that particular case. Because she ghosted you. She blew you off. If you take into account the fact that she didn’t say, “hey, this is my date.” You know, she didn’t defend the guy. She didn’t ask the sheriff’s deputy to get out of his seat. She just let it happen, basically, which is kind of rude. So she was rude on the date and she was rude even despite her bad performance on the date. He texted her, he was like, “I’m going to give her another chance”, because he liked her. He texted her and she just completely ignored him.

So because of those two kind of infractions in a case like this. Because again, this is like a special case. How do you apply 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back? Should you ask her out or not? But if we take a step back and we look how she disrespected him on the date. Again, she allowed this other guy to sit there. She didn’t say, “oh, hey, you know, my date’s back. It’s been great talking to you. Have a great night.” She just let him sit there, which obviously is very rude. And the guy didn’t handle it properly. But hey, you live and you learn. That’s what life is all about. It’s either you win or you learn. That’s the attitude that you want to have.

And so in this case, she texted, but she didn’t mention anything about getting together or anything like that. And you know, under normal circumstances, if you’d have had a good date with her and it had gone well, and then you tried to set up a second date or third date, whatever, wherever you were in that process, and she just ghosted you, then you do nothing. And then in this case, if that was what would happen if you had a decent date, but you just ghosted him after that. You’re going to probably assume, oh, maybe she got back together with another guy. Or she was seeing somebody else.

So if she had texted him after the class and things hadn’t been awkward, then in that case, yeah, I would have asked her out. But considering that she was kind of an ass to him on the date, she in other words, she didn’t defend him. She didn’t say, “hey, this is my date, you know, really great chatting with you, but we’re going to get back to our dinner or back to our drinks and our conversation.” And dismiss the guy. She didn’t do that. She just let him sit there, and which is rude as hell. And so if a girl does that to you, it’s like, yeah, I’m not asking a woman like that, even if she texts me, I’m not asking her out unless she brings it up first.

Just because of that kind of behavior. Because that’s the kind of thing. Does that woman, are those the actions of somebody that’s going to, is capable of being your biggest cheerleader and fan? Or is it somebody that’s just, let’s face it, she’s kind of a cunt. That’s not a nice thing to do. You go on a date and you’re spending money on her, and she allows another guy to basically interrupt your date and sit there like that. It’s like, no.

This week was our last class meeting until the semester is over in three weeks. We walked to our cars together again and at the end I told her, “Schools out in three weeks, we should celebrate and go do something fun and have a proper date this time, I’ve been wanting to go play mini golf at this new place, we should go.”

I wouldn’t have done that just because of how she treated you in the past.

She said yes and told me her days off, I looked at my calendar with her, and she agreed on a day three weeks from that day.

Again, I wouldn’t be making a date three weeks in the future.

When I got home about an hour later, I sent a text message with, “How’s the ninth at 5pm sound?” With the address to the venue. Ghosted again Corey, nothing. At this point I want to just give up on this girl.

Well, again, I wouldn’t have asked her out just because you’re basically rewarding a woman who she abused you on the first date. Let’s be real. She wasn’t nice to you. So you’re rewarding somebody who was not nice to you with another opportunity to spend more time with you. I would have made her work harder for it. I wouldn’t have asked her out on a date.

Here are my questions. Was making a date for after school is out, three weeks, a mistake?

I’d say yes.

I was only thinking about Thanksgiving, and finals and thought it would be better if it was after those hectic times.

Well, again, I wouldn’t be trying to make a date three weeks in advance, especially a woman that treated you like this in the first date. I would have never even brought it up unless she brought it up like, “Hey, we should get together for another time.” Because she’s clearly not. She knows what she did. She knows she torpedoed the date and she knows what she did was rude. Unless she’s just dumber than a bag of hammers. Which is possible.

If she never texts me back about the date, do I reach out three to four days before the date?

Absolutely not. Because you’re inviting more rude behavior. You don’t chase after a woman who ghosts you. That’s the same thing as double and triple texting somebody.

I don’t think I should because that would be double-texting.

Correct.

And if she never gets back to me, she doesn’t give a fuck.

Correct. I would assume she probably doesn’t give a fuck. She probably enjoyed the attention and you asking her out, but if she just ghosted you, she didn’t care if she’s a rude bitch. What do I say? Easygoing, easy to get along with and nice to you. And this girl is none of those things. She’s not been nice to you. She’s not been easygoing or easy to get along with. She didn’t offend you. She didn’t say, “my dates back, you know. Thanks for stopping by. We’re going to get back to our date.” She didn’t do that. She just let him sit there and probably enjoyed it a little bit. Him kind of twisting the knee, twisting in the wind and getting upset about it.

If the date passes and she reaches out in the future like last time, do I follow 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back? I’m starting to think she’s just stringing me along and I’m just one of the guys she messages out of the blue.

I think all it was, was she was just kind of dangling the carrot. It’s like a little cat with a ball of yarn. Oh, look, a new ball of yarn. Let me play with that for a bit until I get bored. So where you made the mistake was asking her out again. And asking her out three weeks in the future, especially with the way she treated you.

Your help and guidance on what I should do next, probably nothing, would be appreciated Corey.

I wouldn’t ask her out even if she texts you back. I wouldn’t ask her out or ask her to do anything. Because again, I’d be nice if she sends you a few messages but doesn’t bring up the date, just “heart” the message. Because when you “heart” something that’s like the end of the conversation.

I forgot to add that I will not be seeing the Sheriff anymore because the rest of the class is online. I’m starting to think she’s dating another guy(s) and just agreed to the date to not hurt my feelings and just ghost me again. This initiating contact, trying to make a date with her, then ghosting me is starting to become a pattern. Professional Fisher Women.

She just had low interest, but she probably liked the attention. That’s all it was. Like I said, if it was me when I “hearted” the message, that would have been it. As you walked out from class together that last day. I would have been like, Hey, have a great night, have a great weekend or whatever. And I would have never brought up anything after that. And if she texts you after that, I wouldn’t bring up getting together unless she said, “Hey, we should get together for a drink sometime, or hey, you know, I’d love to get together and hang out.” So unless she brings up doing something, I would never, ever try to make a date with her again as long as I live. Because again, she was a cunt to you. You don’t reward a woman being a cunt by trying to spend more time with her. It just shows you have no self respect.

If I successfully go on this date with her, she should do 100% of the pursuing and make dates when she reaches out from now on, correct?

Yes. So say she does reach out and she brings up getting together and you go out on a date, and you have a good date, I wouldn’t call her, text her after that at all. Let her wonder what happened to that guy. Is he not interested? Was I a bad kisser? Did I have bad breath. What was it? And just let her be.

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