In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss the recent Super Bowl 51 victory by the New England Patriots, who came from behind in a 25-point deficit to win the super bowl in overtime. I discuss how staying in the present moment, and how coach Bill Belichick’s obsession with the fundamentals and each player doing their individual jobs to the best of their ability, enabled them to come from behind and win the Super Bowl, when it looked like the game was over and victory was hopeless. I also discuss a follow-up email success story from a viewer whose previous email I answered in my video newsletter, “Becoming A Better Man.” He details how sticking to the fundamentals of what I teach enabled him to re-attract his dream woman since his first email. He also details what he did and said to successfully re-attract, keep and influence her to fall in love with him. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
From the NFL.com article by Gregg Rosenthal: “Every day is an important day in his mind,” Brady said this week of his coach. “He walks into the team meeting room every day and goes, ‘All right guys — this is a big day!’ And he means it. He doesn’t just say it the Wednesday of Super Bowl week. He says it Wednesday in April.”
Coach Belichick is a master of being in the present moment. Not only is he focused on that, but as Coach Bill Parcells said several years ago, a coach’s goal is to hold the team, the players and the organization accountable to the vision, to the goals they set for the organization. The ultimate goal is to win the Super Bowl championship and to be the best team in the league at the end of the year. Belichick is always focused on “What do we need to do right now?” You must “do your job,” and obviously, as Bill Belichick said in an interview, what’s implied in that, but not included is, “do your job well.” You can use this psychology of being in the present moment especially when the shit hits the fan, your girl leaves you or your wife serves you with divorce papers. Ask yourself, “What do I need do to turn things around, control the controllables? What do I have control over? I have control over what I do right now, and I have control over the meaning that I’m going to assign to the circumstances in my life.” When Bill Belichick said, “We’re on to Cincinnati,” he’s focused on strictly doing what’s necessary to win, because he doesn’t have a time machine to go back and fix what’s already happened. All you can do is what you do right now, going forward. Everybody watching this is going to have setbacks in life, and how you respond to those setbacks, the meaning you give those setbacks and the actions you take or fail to take is going to determine where you’re going to end up. The more you apply action in a direct and focused way towards achieving your outcomes, it is going to determine how close and how quickly you get to achieving that outcome.
You must focus on the next play. Focus on what you must do right now. You really have to have emotional self control. I did an article and video called, “Getting Yourself Right Emotionally,” that talks about an interview with Tom Brady. When you condition your team to think every single play is really fucking important, it’s the most important thing you’re going to do right now, and that the action you’re about to take is the most important action you’ve ever had to take to date, it keeps you in that mindset and mentality. Despite whatever setbacks happen, you know you’ve got to do what’s necessary right now, even when you don’t feel like it, and even when it feels hopeless. Being down 25 points in the middle of the third quarter of the Super Bowl seems pretty fucking hopeless, but as Yogi Berra, the famous catcher said, “It ain’t over til it’s over.”
Robert Kraft, patriots owner: “I still have the image of Tom Brady coming down the old Foxboro stadium steps with that pizza box under his arm, a skinny beanpole, and when he introduced himself to me and said, ‘Hi Mr. Kraft,’ he was about to say who he was, but I said ‘I know who you are, you’re Tom Brady. You’re our sixth round draft choice,’” recalled Kraft. “And he looked me in the eye and said, ‘I’m the best decision this organization has ever made.’ It looks like he could be right.”
Coach Belichick loves football. He loves what he does. Belichick said coaching “actually beats working.” It doesn’t seem like work. When you love what you do, it’s easy and effortless, because it’s something that comes naturally. You naturally want to do it. You naturally have enthusiasm for it.
Miami Heat coach, Eric Spolstra, is also doing a great job getting the most out of his players. They’re playing at their highest level ever, personally concentrating on diet, fundamentals, full spectrum life and lifestyle coaching. They’re on an 11-game winning streak after only winning 10 games, which is great. They focus on everything, the player’s diet, exercise, body fat, the fundamentals and watching film. It’s an entire lifestyle of coaching.
Every time they tell Brady and Belichick they can’t, they win another ring just to give the haters the finger. Total champions.
“You wanna know which ring is my favorite? The next one.” ~ Tom Brady
Hey Coach,It’s been a long time!!! I’m glad to see that you’re still being a source of inspiration and motivation for so many men and women. By the way, congrats with your new property. I like the style.
Well, you discussed my email on a previous video newsletter entitled, “Becoming A Better Man” back in May 2016. In that email, I mentioned all the great things that happened in my life since I started following your work, and I finished my success story by saying that I had met an eastern European chick, 11 years younger than me, an exchange student, who had knocked my socks off. We had a 4-month fling before she returned to her home country.
When she left, my heart was broken. I suffered a lot. But at that point, I had already become a better and stronger man. I knew that I had to allow that pain in my chest and “feel it in order to heal it.”
(When you’re in the middle of negative emotions, you’ve got to feel them to heal them. Obviously, when you’re in the middle of the Super Bowl, you don’t have time to sit there and grieve. You’ve got to focus on, “what do I have to do right now, right in this moment, so I can get closer to where my goal is?” because losing your shit and coming unglued — that isn’t going to help you. Losing your shit is the kind of thing you do at night when you go to bed and you’ve got time.)
Instead of focusing on the fact that she had left, and on the possibility of never seeing her again, I was actually being grateful for the opportunity life had given me to meet such an amazing human-being, whom I shared such great moments with after all the suffering and bullshit I’ve being through. Besides, I knew that I had to go on with my life, my goals, my mission and my purpose.
(You focused on having an attitude of gratitude. That’s one of the quickest ways to get yourself out of a negative state. If you’re still alive, you still have time to change things. As Tony Robbins said, “Your greatest resource is your resourcefulness.” The ultimate act of resourcefulness was what the Patriots pulled off in the Super Bowl.)
I went back to my studies, started reading your book again, which I’ve read 6 times so far, I know, no good, and some other self-help books, such as “The Way Of The Superior Man,” “How To Win Friends And Influence People,” “No More Mister Nice Guy,” “The Lost Mode of Prayer,” “The Four Agreements,” and so on.
(You can never go wrong by investing in yourself, investing in knowledge. Just look at Warren Buffet. He invested in “How To Win Friends And Influence People,” and now he’s one of the richest men in history.)
I was also trying to enjoy my life, seeing other women, and I was even able to hook-up with a stunning Czech girl, who basically had friend-zoned me because of my weak and needy behavior, right before I started following your work about 2 years ago. Coach I swear, the sex we had was amazing… no, no in fact, It was insane. We had a very hardcore session of the indoor Olympics, one of the best of my life, and after that, she couldn’t help but chase me non-stop, ha-ha. It’s amazing to see the results when you step-up like a real man, thanks to you.
Well, back to the gorgeous exchange student who happens to be my girlfriend now… While I was going about my life, the eastern European girl, who was an exchange student, started to reach out again. By watching your videos, I learned some important lessons about how to handle long-distance relationships. Every time she texted me, I would text a little bit back and forth and then set a Skype-date a few days ahead. I’ve being doing this for nearly 5 months, up until the day she came to visit me in Denmark back in May 2016, a few weeks after you discussed my previous email. It was kind of weird to see her face-to-face again after so long, but the connection and the chemistry was still there. We had a great time, and since then, we have been seeing each other on regular basis.
In November 2016, we had “the talk.” I could sense that she was trying to figure out where she stood with me, and she was a bit unsure about my feelings for her. “It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men, whose feelings are unclear,” ha-ha. My answer to that was basically, “What you mean? What you’re trying to say?” and “Tell me more,” ha-ha.
(It’s one of the best all-time questions. As a man, when a woman says something to you that kind of scrambles your brain a little bit, just say, “What do you mean? I’m not sure where you’re coming from.” It’s the best response. Get her to explain it to you.)That day, she finally opened her heart to me, and she even told me things about the very beginning, when we met each other, like the fact that I only contacted her once a week kind of messed with her feelings and with her level of attraction as well.
(Scarcity creates value.)
Besides, she has applied for taking her Masters degree in Denmark, so It seems that we’ll be living in the same country very soon.
(Yes, as long as you’re doing the fundamentals right, and you read the book 8 or 9 more times. I would bet that with her moving to Denmark, it’s looking pretty good.)
I just want to say thanks once again for everything, and I know, I still have a lot to learn, but I’m trying to become a better version of myself, and I’m still investing in knowledge, because as Benjamin Franklin once said, “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.” Your teachings and your guidance mean a lot to me, and I always recommend your book and your videos to all my friends who are facing challenges in their lives. Keep up the great work!!!
(Another great success story. You prepared yourself, learned the fundamentals and got the results you wanted.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Successful people focus on doing the little things right day in and day out, despite the fact that success and victory over overwhelming odds seems impossible. Focusing on and accomplishing easy to achieve, small daily goals and doing what’s necessary accomplishes big goals. You’re going to be somewhere in 5, 10 or 15 years that is a direct result of what you do and fail to do on a daily basis. If you don’t take action and do what’s necessary today, you’ll never be where you want to be tomorrow.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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