Why women prefer to earn your attention, and how indifference causes attraction to grow and women to chase you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who has been following me since 2011. I have answered two of his previous emails in past video newsletters. In his latest email, he shares a success story of how two women staying in a nearby cottage during his “boy’s only weekend” approached his group of guys, and how he used what he learned in my book to attract and seduce the hottest one, causing her to choose and pursue him versus all of his other guy friends.
It’s a great success story of how using what my book teaches, hanging back and letting your competition eliminate itself, makes it easy to attract and seduce the hottest women. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I’ve been a long time follower of yours, dating way back to 2011. In the past you’ve done Skype and email coaching with me, and I’ve been fortunate enough to have two of my emails made into video newsletters: “Do Strippers Make Good Playmates?” and more recently “Dating Labels Are Unimportant.”
Anyway, I recently had an interaction with a woman where I used key principals I’ve learned from you over the years to land a very unexpected but successful hook up. Here’s a little back story…
I’m currently 37 and have been attending an annual boys weekend held every summer at a friend’s cottage for the better part of 20 years. All the guys get together, and we gamble, drink and generally have a blast. The key here is it’s a BOYS weekend. No one brings their wives or girlfriends, and in all the years I’ve been attending, I’ve never seen any females show up.
Well, the latest edition of Boys Weekend just passed, and for the first time ever, two girls showed up from a neighboring cottage it turns out. When I saw them for the first time, I barely paid them any attention. The one girl looked average, and the other actually looked pretty hot, but had a real loud mouth, which I found to be a big turn off. I tend to like the girly girls.
(So how were you behaving? If you were desperate to meet somebody, you would probably try harder, but if you have choice with women, you’re going to be very selective. You would have the attitude of, “Is this girl good for me?” You’d tend to sit back and observe, with the attitude of “What’s what so special about you?” without really saying that. Obviously, beautiful women are used to the 97%’ers, the guys that are going out of their way to perform like a seal and do things to get their attention.)
Anyway, throughout the night, I noticed most of the guys were vying for this girl’s attention, but whenever she came near me, I was cordial but showed her no interest.
(You just treated her like one of the gang basically. It didn’t matter if she was smoking hot, she was just another human being there. Meanwhile, all the other guys are being extra nice to her, going out of their way to get her attention and wait on her hand and foot.)
The more I was ignoring her, the more she was hanging around me.
(Remember, as I said in the quote, women are biologically driven. Makeup, hair, nails, tight outfits — they’re driven to get attention. And when guys are not giving them attention, they want to know why. On some level, they’re thinking, “Why doesn’t he like me?” It causes the woman to start questioning herself, especially when everybody is paying attention to her, but one guy is just treating her like another human being. It’s amazing how well this works, especially when you’re in a group setting and around guys who have no idea what they’re doing.)
As it was getting late into the evening, she started dropping hints like, “where are you sleeping tonight?”
(She was putting herself into your orbit, throwing things out there to see what you’d do with it. She was extending an invitation. The more she tries to get your attention and the more she has to work for it, the more this engages her emotions and the more she feels attraction, because your mind is somewhere else. You’ve got a purpose, a mission, this is the kind of thing that happens to you all the time, you’re used to pretty girls wanting to talk to you, and you don’t treat her like she’s any different than any other girl.)
At that point, I made the move to isolate her from whoever was left awake, and we went to the front yard where we were alone.
(She was in your orbit at this time, wondering where you were sleeping. The whole purpose of seduction is to get closer and closer to a woman until you end up inside of her. Since you know my book, “How To Be A 3% Man,” backwards and forwards, you were aware of what to do. You knew the fundamentals, so you knew the signs to look for and the body language cues to look for, like playing with her hair and leaning in extra close.)
We talked for a bit while drinking, and in that conversation, she was asking things like, “Do you have a girlfriend?” and other obvious buying signals. At that point, it was past 3 am, and I knew it was time to seal the deal. I told her I had my own room and was going to go lay down, but she should join me.
(You extended an invitation. You weren’t worried about rejection at this point. It was all over her face and all over her body language.)
She said, “I’m just going to sleep for a few minutes.” Within no time we started making out, and it was on like Donkey Kong. It turned out she had a killer body and was way hotter then I’d given her credit for.
(Remember, the average woman goes on the first date with a guy thinking, “Is this guy good for me?” It’s great to adopt the same mindset and the same attitude of kind of being skeptical. It has an amazing effect. It will make her work harder and try harder for your attention and validation.)
The next morning, we woke up and had sex again, erasing any doubt that she could blame it on the alcohol the night before. Unfortunately, she was spotted sneaking out later that morning and word circulated quickly. Needless to say, I was the ‘talk of the town,’ and all my buddies were asking me questions and making such a big deal that, of all the dudes there, I was the one that got her.
(How awesome is that? You are definitely the alpha and definitely the leader in your group of guys, even if you didn’t start out that way twenty years ago. Now they’re wondering, “What the hell, dude. What changed in you?” “How To Be A 3% Man,” that’s what happened.)
Looking back, it was my indifference to her that made me stand out. Just like you preach, hang out, have fun and hook up.
(You hang out, and you have fun while you’re hanging out. Then you hang back, the girl starts to get your attention and interest. Little by little, it draws her in. Then you see the cues. You know what to look for — the body language and all the buying signals. It’s easy and effortless. There’s no fear of rejection in this, and yet every guy in your group is trying to come up with things to get her attention. Notice she gives them none.)
Whether it’s a traditional date or a random situation like I found myself in, the same principals applied.
My only fail was the fact that I didn’t have any rubbers with me, because it was a boys weekend after all! But as you teach, “always plan for the logistics of sex.” Fortunately, I skated this time and nothing came of it, but I learned a valuable lesson to always be prepared.
(ABP — always be prepared because you just never know.)
Hope this wasn’t too long coach. I was pretty stoked to share with you!
(That’s a great success story dude. Good job following the fundamentals and doing the right thing, because you got the results.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Women are more attracted to men whose attention and validation they have to earn. Why? It’s about engaging their emotions and causing them to feel something. Women are more in tune with and connected to their emotions than men are. If ten other men are paying attention to a woman and trying to earn her attention and validation, but your attention is elsewhere, they will wonder why and seek to find the answer. This engages their emotions and makes them wonder why you don’t seem to be interested. This also creates attraction and makes you more desirable than all other men, even men who are more attractive. Women put a ton of effort into looking good and being attractive, because they are biologically driven to seek out attention and validation from men. Let women pull you into their world, instead of trying to force your way into theirs.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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