Men who like to date strippers are often playing with fire. Several of my friends over the years, business acquaintances and former employees have dated strippers. Strippers are kind of like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get.
A lot of strippers tend to be into drugs and the party lifestyle that goes along with it. Beautiful women dancing for horny men who give them free drinks, drugs, their money, promises of an escape from the lifestyle, etc.
It’s amazing to see what drugs and excessive drinking and partying can have on another human being. I dated a woman once who liked cocaine. Cocaine makes you horny. Guys with money and cocaine are like candy to strippers and women who like cocaine. Doing the drug makes them highly likely to give up the pussy in exchange for more drugs. They lose all of their inhibitions.
Strippers can be very beautiful, enticing, sexy, charming, alluring, etc. and therefore very hard for a man to resist. Dating strippers can be really sexy and fun. It’s a double edged sword to date strippers. They are more sexually open than your average woman, but more often than not, they have a boat load of baggage to go along with them; daddy issues, etc. So the chances of a guy finding the love of his life and a perfect woman to have a family with in a strip joint is highly unlikely.
Women can be master manipulators and master intimidators to men who do not understand women. A stripper’s job is to make a man believe in the fantasy that he has a chance with her in order to keep him buying lap dances and drinks for himself and the strippers that stop by his table. A man with plenty of money to spend in a strip joint is going to be extremely popular! If he is a regular and knows what women emotionally want and respond to, then it’s pretty easy for him to date some of them. The following is an e-mail I got from a reader. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Sorry in advance if this email is too long..
Okay, here is one for ya. Here is the REAL story. I was in a relationship with this girl for 3 years… Things were good. But when economy hit, I was out of a job and money. Things got really tough for her and I, and our relationship started to down fall.
We got so desperate, that she mentioned going to a strip club to work as a waitress to make some quick money. Well that turned into her dancing. Which was my fault as a man; I should have never let her do. But in my eyes, a good girl wouldn’t do that no matter what the circumstances are right? I was just so desperate. I figured it would be only 5-10 times until I found work.
Well, she started to party and come home wasted on drugs, etc. it was bad. I started getting very upset and seeing the true colors of her real self. (Those were a lot of red flags you should have paid attention to.) So I started to treat her real bad. (Men who understand women never treat women badly. They always treat them with love and respect and understanding. They also are good listeners.)
It got worse and worse. She started not coming home. (Drugs and a bad relationship at home will do that.)
Well I got fed up and moved out one night, and she called me crying hysterically that she was going to change. I told her it was best we live separate for now until we could both get back on track with our lives. She agreed and we agreed to take things slow and date. (It was smart of you to move out. You should have told her to call you once she cleaned herself up and got off drugs.)
So Valentine’s day comes… I call her and ask her if she wanted to do dinner. She said most likely yes. (That was not a commitment for a definite date.) Around 730 when I was supposed to pick her up, she called and said her friend just broke up with her ex and she needs to be there for her. She asked if we could re-schedule.
I said no problem. So I thought something was fishy. I drove by around 9:30pm, and she was there by herself. Well as I walked to my car. A guy pulls up with flowers and walks right into her house… I was devastated and walked right in. she was shocked! (That sounds like it was a lot of fun.)
She is 24 years old, and the guy seemed to be in his mid 40’s with money and a nice car. Of course she met him at the club where she was working… (He provided her with the drugs, and she gave him the sex he wanted.)
4 months passed by. I ran into her friend, she stated that my ex was in bad shape. That her and this guy were heavy into drugs, and drinking every night and I should help her.
I let it go… (Smart move.)
I get an email from my ex on Easter stating she needs help and if I could come over and talk to her. Well, being that I still love her, and I have a heart, I go over there.
I arrive and she is a mess. I feel like it is my fault for all this.. (She made the choice to do drugs, lie and cheat on you.)
There are drugs everywhere. I throw them away, and talk to her. She explains to me that the guy was a distraction from being hurt. She also states that he is 43 and married with 2 children. According to her, he has been promising to get a divorce and marry her. (Yeah right. Cheating married men always say that.) Which she believes and wants to marry him. At 1st he was a distraction, but now she has developed feelings for him.
1st of all you met him at a strip club, where he met his wife. He is cheating on his wife with you, do you really think he is the one to marry?
So she goes on telling me how she misses me and she wants to see me more. (Translation… “Will you be my backup plan if things don’t work out with the other guy?”)
I told her to fix her life then call me. So she calls me crying 2 weeks later that she called his wife to see if she knew. The wife is devastated and flips out on the guy.
He begs my ex not to say any details, and fly’s to NY to convince his wife nothing happened. Sooo my ex is all about me now.
The idiot I am, because I really care for her, I get back with her.
Three months go by and things are good, and she starts acting strange, telling me that I am not the one she really wants to marry, complaining that I have ADD, I don’t focus enough on her, etc. just completely putting me down In every way. (You don’t understand women. You need to read my book. You can download the Amazon Kindle version to your smart phone, PC, Mac, iPad, etc. in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by clicking here. Read it 10 to 15 times to the point that you know the material in it so well you could literally give a seminar on. If you know the material that well, then making the right choices will be easy.)
I go through her phone at night, and notice they have been sleeping together and talking again, and he is telling her that he is now getting a divorce, and wants to marry her, and that he knows she is the one for him. She believes all his lies! (You seem to believe a lot of her lies too, or should I say, you lie to yourself and see what you want to see. You also ignore all of the red flags that are popping up.)
Keep in mind this guy is well known for being a drug addict and lives at the strip clubs for the last 10 years. He is stating that he is changed and was only partying like that because he was going through a rough time. He has stopped smoking cigarettes, and cleaned up.
This whole time I myself am trying to get her to believe that he is a total scumbag, and is using her to be a side girl. (That is futile and she will defend him when she has a high level of interest in him. It will make her angry.)
Now she is telling me that she needs to time to figure out if he is lying or not. Kind of like I’m on the back burner. (You willingly put yourself there.) I feel like I am losing total respect for myself now begging like a desperate idiot. (Yup. Women will never love a man they do not respect, nor a man who has no respect for himself.)
She gets really pissed when I talk down on him… (Yup. She is defending him.)
Corey, what should I do? I know I should let her go… (Delete this girl’s number and never look back. You already know what you want to do. Ain’t nothing to it, but to do it! Start dating women who are normal and have their shit together. Forget about the drug addicted, lying ex-stripper girlfriend of yours. You deserve better. There are 6 1/2 billion people on this planet. About half of them are women. There are more beautiful single women who are healthy and have a good head on their shoulders then you could ever possibly go out with over the course of your entire life. Time to get back into the game. Stop being stuck in the past.)
Do you think their relationship will really work? How can she trust him? Why would she want to be with him? (Who cares. That’s between him and her. Move on with your life. Nothing to see here. You’ve been there, done that and got the T-shirt.) She states that he gives her everything she loves emotionally, that I don’t, and she is willing to deal with all his baggage, because he is getting a house for them now, and she trusts him..
Last that I talked to her, she said she is going to take the chance with him, and if it is her loss then she will learn from it. (There you have it. Let the two of them ride off into the sunset together. They deserve each other! Focus on learning the material in my book so you can start applying it to attract a real quality woman. You deserve to be happy and loved by an honest woman! Your life should be a drama free zone. Only date women who have their shit together.)
Can you please give me advice?
I can’t even go out and have a good time, reason why I am prob having a hard time picking up other girls.. (Yes you can, but you are choosing not to. You wish your ex-girlfriend to be different than she is; this causes you to suffer over things that you have no control over. She is not different nor will she be, if ever, and has constantly disappointed you. I know it’s hard, but you must move on to find the next great love of your life. There is another bus every 15 minutes.)
Do I sound like a total wuss? (What do you think? Do I really need to answer that?)
I’m completely hurt over all this…3 weeks ago she was telling me how much she was in love with me… (It’s understandable to feel the way you do. However, the bottom line is, this girl has disqualified herself from being good girlfriend material. Accept what is and the fact there is nothing you can do to change her. All you can do is choose to spend your time finding someone new and better suited to you. Eventually you will. So relax. It’s in the bag.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“In my mind, I’m always the best. If I walk out on the court & I think the next person is better, I’ve already lost.”-Venus Williams