Women Who Jerk You Around

How to handle women who jerk you around, disrespect you and who cancel dates at the last minute.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss three different emails from three different viewers. The first email is from a twenty-one year old viewer from Poland who got dumped due to weak and needy behavior. Now she is back, but he had to cancel their first date after a year because he got sick. He asks how to handle things going forward.

The second email is a success story from a guy who got blown off by a girl he really liked for displaying too much weakness. For the past two years after immersing himself in my work, he’s had great success with women. Now the girl who dumped him is back in his life and things are going well. The third email is a success story from a guy who has been following me for about five years and just got married to his girlfriend of two years. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the bodies of their emails.

I’ve got three emails I’m going to go through with you today because this a really good topic. I’ve got three different guys, all of them at various levels of success. The last two are really good success stories. And all of these guys started out displaying weak behavior, acting needy, and they all basically got blown off and jerked around.

So, the last two of them are doing really well. The first guy is starting to get there, but what’s interesting is, he had a girl who blew him off after a year, found my work, started doing well, and then she came back into his life. And then he got sick and he had to cancel a date on her. And what’s interesting is, it’s obvious from reading this guy’s email, it’s probably the first time in his life he’s ever cancelled a date on a woman.

He obviously had a good reason, because he got sick. And now he’s all worried like, “Oh my god, what’s she going to think? I canceled the date on her.” Whereas, he’s probably had dozens and dozens of women cancel dates on him over the course of his life. And so what’s interesting is, most guys don’t get to experience having to cancel a date or blow women off, especially hot women.

And what I like about the combination of emails that you’re going to see is, it’s so important to have other choices and have other options and not just focus on one woman. And once you really start to apply the things that are in my book, “How To Be A 3% Man,” what you’re going to notice is that over time, especially over several months, is that you’re going to be constantly meeting and dating women. Some will work out, some will progress real quickly, and others will just kind of fall by the wayside.

As you have other choices and other options, it’s not really a big deal, because if the other person stops playing tennis with you, in essence, they just need another tennis partner, if you look at it that way. But if you’re obsessed or focused on one particular woman and your emotions are involved, it makes it so hard to do the right thing. And more often than not, you’re going to be doing things out of fear, which is going to further make you look weak, and needy, and insecure and undesirable. And everything you’re trying to avoid, which is getting jerked around or blown off, is actually going to happen more.

And so as the months go by, as you start applying the stuff that’s in my book, “How to be a 3% Man,” what you’ll notice is, some of those women that disappeared — maybe there were other guys, maybe their boyfriends, maybe they were just in a bad headspace, whatever it happens to be — some of them start to come back into the picture. And so other girls that you’re potentially involved with, maybe something similar is going on. Especially, the younger they are and the hotter they are, the more options they’re going to have and the more they’re going to be willing to jerk you around.

So for me, as an older dude, a guy who is 50, I tend to date a lot of women that are in their 20s or early 30s. It’s one of the things you’ve got to deal with, you’ve got to put up with, because the younger women play more games, because they have more choices. But obviously the goal is to not get jerked around, to be in the three percent, because the reality is most people in life are just average, mediocre people. That includes all women and that includes all dudes.

And if you want to be in the top three percent of the guys that have all of this success in their career, in their lives, you really just have to be willing to outwork your competition. You have to work harder, longer, be more committed, more dedicated, because most people just give up after a while, whether it’s their career, whether it’s working out and taking care of themselves, whether it’s settling in their relationship life.

I mean, just look around. How many people do you know that have been married for a long period of time, and they’re pretty much universally all overweight, all out of shape, especially the longer they’ve been together? That’s what happens to most people. And you can really set yourself apart if you’re one of the few people that exercises and takes care of yourself and is thin, lean and mean, like Steve McQueen.

That’s my philosophy. I’m not a big, bulky dude, but I’m in really good shape. I’ve got nice muscle tone, I look good, and whenever I meet somebody, they always think I’m 10, 15, 20 years in some cases, younger than I actually am. Because I don’t look like I should look for a guy that’s my age. And obviously, the green juice and the green smoothies and all the things that I talk about that I do in my second book, “Mastering Yourself,” these are the kinds of things that give you an edge. Just simple stuff like that, juicing vegetables.

Yesterday morning I made a gallon of green juice. It took me about forty-five minutes to do. That’s something I do twice a week, every week, and I’ve been doing it for almost 20 years. How many people are going to commit to something like that for that many years, especially two decades? None. The same thing with making the smoothies. It makes me feel better, it makes me look better, it gives me more energy, makes my skin beautiful, gives a nice sheen to it. And if you want to have choice and have the best that life has to offer, you have to take care of your body. And the older you get, fewer and fewer people are going to do that.

Even those big, bulky steroid monster guys that break my balls on video all the time, I look at those guys, if we did dark-field microscopy and live blood analysis, their blood would look like shit compared to mine. You know, I have beautiful, healthy red blood cells, perfectly formed, no yeast, no candida, no bullshit in my blood. But all those fucking steroid monsters, those guys drop dead of heart attacks, they have cancer, they have all kinds of fucking health problems, especially as they get older, because of all the shit that they inject themselves with.

But, you know, it really doesn’t matter, but the point being is that successful guys, it’s like if you’re watching this video, you’re already ahead of 97 percent of your competition out there. Most guys are too lazy, too weak, too checked out. They won’t sit here and spend the time watching a video like mine, trying to better themselves. And so, if you’re willing to go longer, if you’re going to commit to things longer than the average person, if you could just hold out a little longer for the things you want and keep plugging along, even when it doesn’t look like it’s going to work out for you, eventually everybody around you is going to give up.

Wayne Dyer said, “it’s never crowded along the extra mile.” But you have to be willing to do the things that most people just simply aren’t willing to do, and I do that. And that’s why I get good results, and I continue to get good results. And that’s why you’re going to see most of the guys that I’m going to go through their emails here, it’s like they’re great results. Because the fundamentals are the fundamentals, and most people are just simply not going to put the time in and the work.

And if you take care of yourself, you go after the things you want in life, whether it’s career or business, you go after the kind of women you want, you don’t fucking settle and you don’t get into lame relationships with lame girls that don’t really set your heart on fire and you’re happy to stay single. Maybe it’s a couple of years until you find the right girl or the next great love of your life. You’re just willing to hold out more than most people.

The worst thing that you want to happen is for you get in a relationship with a girl, it’s kind of a lot of the things you like, but she’s not really there. And then six months later, you’re kind of solid in the relationship, and you meet a hot smoke show who just knocks your fucking socks off. How are you going to feel then? Are you going to be glad that you settled? You’re going to probably try to talk yourself into justifying it, but you’re not going to be able to get that girl out of your mind, because settling is horrible.

At some point in time, you’re going to be faced with the reality of what you could have had or what you could have been if you hadn’t have settled. And that’s one of the things that’s always motivated me. It’s been my emotionally compelling reason why I’ve done all the things that I’ve done. It’s because I believe that over the horizon, whether it’s a business, or relationship, or friendship, or where I live, or what I do for a living, if my heart’s moving in a new direction, I’m going to go check it out and see what it is. And the right people are going to come along, and the wrong ones, they’re going to fall by the wayside.

One of my one of my buddies, when he was a Green Beret, when he was going through qualification training and people would quit, he liked that. He was like “Yeah.” He wanted to quit. He felt like it, too. He felt horrible inside. But you know what? He just kept pushing through the pain. And other people mentally just didn’t have the same level of commitment that he did.

And, you know, even with what I do for a living, I see a lot of people come and go trying to do what I do. They do it for a few years. Hey man, I’ve been at this professionally for 15 years now, and I’ve been studying this stuff my whole life — self-help, relationships, dating, spirituality, everything. So I’ve got decades of life experience and wisdom that my competition just doesn’t have.

And that’s why my books, I mean, if you look at the ratings I’ve got on “How To Be A 3% Man,” it’s crushes everybody in the genre. And I sell more books than pretty much everybody combined, because I’m going to keep plugging along. Twenty years from now, I’m going to be doing the same thing — the things I love, the things I enjoy that bring value in meaning to my life, because most people just aren’t willing to do it.

So with that said, the quote says, “Women jerk guys around who they have low interest in, don’t respect or just to troll them to see how they react to pressure. Weak and insecure guys don’t react too well to being jerked around, and often get frustrated, needy and over pursue, which naturally invites more testing and getting jerked around. Men who know better develop themselves to excel in their lives, careers and take great care of their health, so they can always have plenty of options with other women. They will call women out for violating their boundaries without apology or remorse, because it’s the right thing to do.”

Remember, no one will ever do or saying to you that you don’t invite them to do. It’s very, very important to set healthy boundaries.

So back to the quote, “If a woman jerks them around, they simply give their time, attention and validation to other women who value, appreciate and respect them more. The more successful and well-rounded a man’s life is, the more choice he will have with women, the more peace he will have in his heart, and the less he will be bothered or diminished by rude and selfish women.”

And the other thing it’s interesting, women that jerk you around, you know, I’ll get a lot of shit for this, but the reality is that women that don’t have good relationships with their dads, or they have nonexistent or bad relationships with their fathers, and especially the hotter they are and the younger they are, the more they’re going to jerk around. Because they have lots of choices and options themselves, and partially because they’re fucking spoiled, entitled little bitches. It goes to their head.

And they’re young, they don’t have a lot of life experience, so they have a lot of power. But as they get older, they get in their late 20s and early 30s, and they’re not as beautiful and young as they were in their early 20s, they notice that the men are paying more attention to the younger women around them. And so, their choices start to diminish the older they get. That’s why, as a man, your sexual market value, if you will, is going to continue to increase as you become older and become more successful, especially if you take care of yourself and you look a lot younger than you actually are, like yours truly, of course.

First Viewer’s Email:

Hello Corey,

I’m a 21-year old guy from Poland, and I’ve been following your work for over a year after a girl dumped me. I have read your book 6 times so far and still counting.

Good start, dude.

After I read your book, I understood how needy and insecure I was and how many times I fucked up with the girl I was dating. She had a high level of attraction towards me from the start. On the first date she was touching me, laughing at my stupid jokes, she was holding my hand, etc. I talked very little, and she was talking about 80% of the time.

We dated for about 2 months, and I was always available, because I didn’t have a “real” job at that time. I was pursuing my goal of being an artist.

Well, you just should have been doing more artist stuff — painting more paintings, sculpting more sculptures, whatever. Welding more things if you’re a welder, whatever kind of art you happen to do. You should be busy as fuck doing art. That’s your job. That’s the way you should look at. If you’re obsessed as an artist, every waking minute you’re trying to create something, because it’s just so much fun and it brings you so much joy.

That’s why I continue to do these videos after all these years. When all these people have kind of come and gone, and they put out books, and their books don’t sell anywhere near as well as mine do. I always chuckle. Often imitated, but never duplicated.

She was fascinated by me, but I didn’t act like a lover. I was too scared to make a move and was very needy, so we stopped talking and I left it with, “If you would like to go out sometime, give me a call.”

After a year of no contact, she finally reached out to me. We talked for about 10 minutes, and we set the date and left it at that. She invited me to her house to watch a movie together.

In other words, giving you another opportunity on a silver platter to hang out, have fun and hook up. But you see, the guy got busy, he’s immersed in my book, six times he’s been through it, going on other dates, he’s getting experience. And like I said, these kinds of things is what happens, because most guys don’t have the power or the balls just to walk away when they’re not getting treated properly.

The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. That’s why no contact means no contact forever. That means if I hit the ball over the net and she doesn’t hit back, I’m not hitting another one over the net. I’m just going to go play with somebody else. Because at this point in my life, especially with what I do, I have lots of choices and lots of options, more than the average guy is going to have. And so, I’m extremely picky.

But it’s fun because you just never know. Somebody comes back into the picture after being gone for a few months, and things are going okay, but not as good as you want them to be with somebody else you’re dating. It’s like, hey, this girl’s back. “Hey, girl. What ya doin? Were you been.” It makes it nice, because then you know, you don’t really get attached one way or another. It allows you to remain a choice. It makes you feel peaceful. It makes you feel relaxed. It makes you feel calm. And if you’re calm, you make good choices.

Then it’s like, hey, let the best girl win. Whoever is going to treat me the best, and operate with the most integrity and value my time, that’s who I’m going to spend my time with. Because the reality is, looks are going to fade over time. And just because the girl is hot, but she’s a pain in the ass all the time, it’s like, why would you want to put up with that? I’ll just replace her with somebody else. Find somebody that really cherishes you.

But like I said, it’s just one of the realities of life. Girls that have good relationships with their dad, have a strong family bond, they tend to do less of this fuckery. And girls that don’t have a good relationship with their dad, or the dad was never around, or he was constantly making plans, then canceling on them, they do more of that stuff, because that’s just kind of natural to them. That’s what they experienced. That’s what they’re used to. And it’s kind of passive aggressive behavior — always waiting a day to return your text, or whatever happens to be. It’s like, come on.

She was very happy about seeing me. The date day came, but I had to cancel due to me getting sick. I had a fever and could barely talk. I changed plans for the next week and she agreed, but I’m afraid I lowered my chances with her by doing that.

Dude, that is totally… I can understand, because this has never happened to you. You’ve never canceled a date on a woman before. And you’ve probably had tons, dozens of dates canceled on you. And it sucks. You don’t like the way it makes you feel, so what you’re thinking is “Oh, I made her feel that way, and she’s not going to like that, and therefore she’s going to ditch me.” It’s like, no actually, scarcity creates value. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

And the reality is, just let it be. I mean, she blew you off and you didn’t hear from her for a year. So think about it from that perspective. Your attitude should be one of more skepticism like, “Ehh, I don’t know about this girl. She kind of blew me off a year ago. But you know what? I did act weak and needy. But I’ll give her another shot, see if she can win me over this time. She’s one of the prospects I’m entertaining.” That’s why you’ve got to let them earn every bit of it, because they respect you more if they have to earn your attention and validation, versus just giving it to them.

I haven’t found any video or chapter in your book about canceling dates yourself and how to do it properly. Please give me an answer.

Thanks,

Bob

Dude, your fine. You’re okay. It’s going to be fine. You’re good. You set a definite date. Just follow what’s in the book. And like I said, the more you do this, because I know this is obviously new to you, when you see the results that are positive, especially if she keeps the date and you go over to her house, she’s going to be even more into you than before, because you never cancel the date on her.

You were always seeking her attention and validation, and now you’re pushing her away. And so maybe in the back of her mind she’s saying, “Was he really sick? Or did he have plans with somebody else?” That’s going to help you. If she’s thinking about you when you’re not around, that’s going to cause her to like you more. You didn’t even do anything for that. So you don’t realize it yet, but this is actually the kind of thing that makes women like you more. And if she gets pissed off, it’s like, “Hey man, my life is an asshole free zone, and yours should be too.”

You’re fine, bro. If she’s an asshole, she’ll dick you around. That’s okay. If you have other choices and other options, it might sting a little bit, but just keep on trucking, man. Because most people will give up and won’t put up with that crap, Don’t do it.

Second Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach. 

Two years ago, the woman of my dreams ended things and went back to her ex. I was devastated.  

Yeah, that kind of sucks.

I finally wanted to fix what I was doing wrong and came across you on YouTube. I purchased your book “How To Be A 3% Man” and have read it 22 times. I plan on continually reading it. 

For the past two years, I have enjoyed dating beautiful remarkable women.

That’s your birthright, bro. Because the reality is 97 % of dudes out there, they’re just simply not going to do what’s necessary, and that’s okay. It’s good for you. It means you have less and less competition, especially as you get older.

A funny thing has recently happened. The lady who had ended thing is now back in my life, and I am letting her set the pace. (Yup, a previous mistake was over pursuing.) She contacts me and I set a date, which has been going very well. I now know a lot of the answers to the tests as they are happening.

By paying attention to her level of attraction, it’s making things really easy. Here is the best part: I feel more in control of my life and what I want. 

Thank you very much Corey. I’m making a donation. Enjoy a beer on me.

Cheers!

Bob 

It gives you the upper hand. It’s almost like you become psychic. You know what’s going to happen. The good girls, the good women, the good ones that have got good relationships with their mom, especially their dad, they’re, for the most part, going to be sweet as pie compared to the chicks that just don’t. And I’m sorry to say it, but very few girls that had a bad relationship with her dad, they just don’t do the work on themselves, and they’re kind of shit birds. Still give them the benefit of the doubt, but nine times out of ten, it’s not going to work out.

That’s why if you apply what’s in the book, it brings out the best in the best and the worst in the worst. And if you’ve got lots of choices and lots of options… you’ve got one girl who is really hot, but she’s kind of jerking you around a lot, and you’ve got another girl who’s really hot, but she had a good relationship with her mom and dad, who’s going to treat me the best? It’s always one hundred percent of the time, in my experience and the experience of my clients, it’s always the girl who’s got a good relationship, who’s got a good family. Sorry, it is what it is. The numbers are the numbers, the stats are the stats.

Again, Teespring.com, asshole free zone. Go ahead, do yourself a favor. So when I do these simultaneous sip type of events like Scott Adams likes to do, obviously I give credit to him. And he has great books, by the way, which I highly encourage you to read Scott Adams books. You, too, can have an asshole free zone for your life if you get one of these sweet mugs from Teespring at the Coach Corey Wayne store.

Third Viewer’s Email:

Corey,

I’ve followed you for 5 years after a bad breakup. (I’m the first guy from “What Drives Lovers Away.”) Been some up and downs, and actually I think you muted me on YouTube after I put a smart-ass comment on the video with the doctor dude…

Meaning, Dr. D’Anna of BeSimplyWell.com

and that younger chick.

Yes, that would be Ashley.

I was in a slap happy mood that day. My bad.

Hey, it happens. Like I said, I don’t know if it was it was me or my assistant that muted you. But you know, if you’re being a dick… because again, my life is an asshole free zone.

Oh, by the way, an update on Dominic and Ashley, they are actually engaged, and we’re going to do a video — we’ve talked about it — but they’re going to get married. So, now they’re going to live happily ever after. But we’ll do an update so you can hear from both of them on how it all happened and how it all came together.

In any event, I’m getting married today to my dream girl. I’ve read your book over 30 times. We met about 2 years ago, and from the beginning I methodically applied the principles you teach. They worked.

I know you don’t know me personally, but you have changed my life more than you’ll ever know. You are a great mentor, and I’m so happy to have discovered what you do. You were right… The best was yet to come.

Thank you!

Just another Bob 

So I think it’s great that I have helped change your life and all these nice, flowery things that you say to me, but at the end day, you still came on my YouTube channel and were a dick to me and you got muted. It’s like, come on dude, Don’t let the success go to your head. Don’t blow your ego up too big. Because again, my life is an asshole free zone. Even for those people who say I’ve changed their lives, if you’re a dickhead, you’re going to get blocked, you’re going to get muted. It’s like, sorry, not sorry, not really. That’s just the way it is.

“Women jerk guys around who they have low interest in, don’t respect or just to troll them to see how they react to pressure. Weak and insecure guys don’t react too well to being jerked around and often get frustrated, needy and over pursue, which naturally invites more testing and getting jerked around. Men who know better develop themselves to excel in their lives, careers and take great care of their health, so they can always have plenty of options with other women. They will call women out for violating their boundaries without apology or remorse, because it’s the right thing to do. If a woman jerks them around, they simply give their time, attention and validation to other women who value, appreciate and respect them more. The more successful and well rounded a man’s life is, the more choice he will have with women, the more peace he will have in his heart and the less he will be bothered or diminished by rude and selfish women.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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