What Drives Lovers Away

How to avoid the most common mistakes people consciously and unconsciously make that turn their lovers off and drive them away, so you can cause your lover to want, desire and pursue you more instead.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is a success story from a guy who found my work after he chased “The One” right out of his life. He shares how his neediness, over-pursuit and illusion of action totally turned off the woman he thought was “The One,” and how this failure led him to my work. He has now read my book eleven times. He shares how the woman he is dating now is way better than the one he lost and who led him to my work. He upgraded! He shares what a night and day, effortless experience his new love has been since they met, compared to the one he lost.

The second email is a success update from a woman whose last email about her needy boyfriend I discussed in my video newsletter titled, “Needy People Wear You Out.” She shares how discussing the things I suggested with her boyfriend caused him to finally see the light and stop his needy, approval-seeking and attraction-killing behavior. She shares how happy she is now, and how she finds a lot of satisfaction in their relationship once again. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails.

First Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

How are you? I wanted to share my success story that may help some of your viewers. I am 30 years old, and I found out about your work back in August when I was trying to get an ex back. I was crushed and thought I let “The One” get away. (I did an article and video several years ago called, “Finding True Love: The Myth Of The One.”) It was horrible, and I didn’t take it too well. (Most people don’t. Remember, rejection breeds obsession.) Since I was unfamiliar with your work, I completely fell into the “illusion of action.” What’s fucked up is, I actually thought I was doing the right thing by doing something. (Movies and TV shows teach that chasing and stalking will win a woman over.) As it turned out, it drove her further away. It was awful, and I felt numb for weeks after. I kept coming back to your videos, because they were making so much sense. (I like to say, what I teach is uncommon common sense.) I discovered what REALLY went wrong with my last relationship. I was acting weak, seeking her approval, and failing her tests miserably. That’s not to mention, that I spoke too much about my feelings. (This is also a common theme and misconception in movies and on TV. However, in real life, women will see it as being sweet in a brotherly way.) Quite frankly, I was acting like a woman. I turned her off to the point of no return. I became so sick of feeling like shit, I was prepared to do anything. (That was you hitting the wall and realizing what you were doing was not working.)I started going back to the gym, focused on MY life and quit making excuses. (It’s really about getting to a place where you love your life.) I also decided that I’m going to read this “shaved headed motherfucker’s” book 10-15 times. (That was definitely a great decision on your part. You have to learn the baseline fundamentals. The people with the greatest success stories have always read the book at least 10 times.) Obviously, I had a knowledge gap. Something wasn’t working, and I was fucking over it! I was dedicated and read the book 11 times in 6 weeks. Really, you should see my Kindle version. Damn near half the book is highlighted. I have over 100 notes, and I did all the exercises. My favorite was making the ideal woman list. (Look at my article and video, “How To Attract The Perfect Woman,” where I take you through that list exercise.) I was going out on dates, meeting new women, and applying my new knowledge. It was on my 12th read I met someone new, a better looking, younger, and more compatible woman. Months before, I thought this was unobtainable.

From the beginning, I did everything right. I gauged her attraction, let her do 80% of the talking and pursuing, and was just generally on my “James Bond” shit. We’ve been seeing each other for 3 weeks, and things are going great. I’ve taken more of an assertive role in being the leader. It feels so freeing to overcome such an epic fail on the last relationship, to dating an even better person who knocks my socks off. (If you read the book 10-15 times and apply it, you’ll either get the ex back or get somebody better. You won’t lose if you put in the work.) Just like you say, you’ll either get your ex back, or you’ll find somebody better. I wanted to share this story, so hopefully, you can share this with your viewers as a testament to what happens when you read the book 10-15. I’ve never felt so prepared.

Thank you for your work and filling in my knowledge gap. I made a $5 donation. (Thank you. Donations are always appreciated.) I wish it could be more, but it’s the holidays bro! I just wanted to show my gratitude however I could. I’ve also referred my friends to your work as well!

Thanks again dude!

Bob

Second Viewer’s Success Update:

Hello Corey,

I’d like to say thank you for the advice in your video. (Her original email was in my article and video,“Needy People Wear You Out.”) I have communicated straightforwardly to him how it makes me feel when he constantly puts himself down, like you said. (Men want to feel successful for making their woman happy. When a woman is unhappy, men take it personally and blame themselves for it. Masculine energy grows through challenge, so if you can explain what causes you pain and what causes you pleasure, the guy will gravitate towards taking the correct actions.) Lately, there have been so many improvements in our relationship. He has seemed more confident in himself, and he hasn’t been begging for reassurance every night. (That’s awesome and a credit to you for being able to communicate this to him.) In fact, whenever I tell him I love him, he smiles and says, “I know.” It’s just such a relief to feel that pressure lifted from our relationship. I have also noticed since he’s been depending upon me less, that he’s been spending more time with his friends again as well, which makes me happy to see. (Now he’s starting to act like a complete person, a true equal.) There has been less fighting as a result of this change, and I am now very much satisfied with this relationship once again. (Good job for both you and your boyfriend. You’re obviously doing a great job of communicating.)

Thank you,

Jessica

“The reason why most people do not have the quality of lovers and friends they really want and deserve is because of how they view themselves. People tend to think, act and speak in ways that are congruent with their personal worldview of themselves. When they encounter people they want to either date or befriend, their negative and limited view of themselves influences their thoughts, words and deeds in such a negative way, they actually repulse those they want to attract. The first step, before you can attract the kind of people you want into your life, is to decide you deserve to have people like them. Once you have decided what you want and why you want it, your self-talk, words, actions and body language must be congruent with your outcomes. Successful people put their best foot forward, even when they don’t feel at their best. Unsuccessful people put their worst foot forward, because they are unconsciously sleep walking through life, without any awareness of how their negative thoughts and attitudes are sabotaging their success.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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