Butt-Hurt & Offended

Oct 2, 2015 by Coach Corey Wayne

Business Communication - Angry WomanHow to deal with people who are always getting butt-hurt and offended at you for being you, trying to “piss in your Wheaties” metaphorically, rain on your parade, be the turd in the punch bowl or bring you down, so they don’t get in your way, inhibit your success or diminish you.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a pissed off and bitter female viewer who attacks my work, and me personally. She says she saw my video newsletter titled, “Why She Doesn’t Love You.” It totally sent her into orbit, and she says, “It was complete and utter bullshit.” It is obvious that she is not familiar with what I teach, but since she goes through life like a lot of insecure, unsuccessful and weak people do, who are perpetually looking for reasons or occasions to be offended, she became hijacked by her irrational emotions and is projecting her self-hatred and self-loathing onto me in order to feel better about herself.

It’s really a cry for help. So I light her up. I pick apart her inaccurate and hate-filled email to reveal what’s really going on and why she is simply reacting the way she has been emotionally conditioned and told to. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of her email.

Corey,

I just wanted to say, your video, “Why She Doesn’t Love You” was very offensive to me and several of my friends I shared it with. (I really don’t give a fuck if you’re offended. If you’ve been emotionally conditioned to think a certain way, you go through life looking for reasons to be offended or pissed off. When you encounter people like me, who don’t follow the heard, you’re going to attack it like a robot, because you’re not really thinking for yourself.) It was complete and utter bullshit. (No one will ever do or say anything that isn’t a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in a moment. You obviously don’t know my work. Mad young woman with extreme haisrtyle and speech bubblesEven if you think I am a complete jackass, if you apply the things that I teach, you will see that they work.) Women want someone who can handle his half of the relationship. You want to know the reason she didn’t love him??? It was because he was half-assing the relationship by following your book’s guidelines. (In most of the videos I do, I point out where somebody is fucking up or where their strategy is flawed and to a more superior way to modify their approach. You shouldn’t go through life looking for reasons to be offended, because you become a prisoner to your own beliefs. You get stuck inside the box, so you can never extend beyond you’re comfort zone.) If he only puts out “30 to 40%,” I can GUARANTEE she won’t fall for him. (It’s about giving full effort, but taking it in measured steps. When you understand why men and women do what they do, you understand what creates attraction. The reality is, as I discuss in my book, women will do most of the calling, texting and pursuing, because feminine energy is all about bonding, connecting and opening up to receive love.) Again… he’s half-assing at the relationship. Women really do like it when a guy obsesses over them. (Women like it when a guy makes her feel more special than any over woman in his life. He will adore her, but not to the point where he gives up his goals and dreams or stops being the guy she was attracted to in the first place.) It makes them feel wanted and important. It proves to them that the man truly is dedicated. You say you are a “Life and Peak Performance Coach,” but if people are really following your guidelines, their lives are not going to be heading for the peak. (You should check out my article and video, “Why I Don’t Care What You Think.”) I could go on for hours with this, but I really don’t want to waste any more of my time on you, so have a horrible day. Bye bye now.

~Written In Discontent~

Jessica

Success story from viewer:

Corey,

I’m a long time follower of your stuff, and last night I couldn’t help but reflect back on some of your teachings and laugh. I turned 50 years old this year, and feel sort of like a unicorn in a sea of jackasses. (This is the reason my book is called, “How To Be A 3% Man.” It’s because only 3% of the guys get this stuff. And he’s one of them now.) Most guys my age have settled for substandard relationships and jobs they hate. This made every aspect of their lives pretty half-assed… just like you always say.

Now, I have been sort of a friend to this beautiful girl from India for the past 6 years. She’s 29, and she makes sure she uses the friend word frequently. I’m good with that. She is fun, beautiful, not dramatic, and in great shape. She’s a really fun date. Yesterday was her birthday, and she told me she wanted a watch for her birthday. Friends and Family When I got to the bar I told her I didn’t get her a watch, because that’s a gift I would give a girlfriend. (He’s saying, she has to earn that.) So I bought her a beer. That’s what I give my friends for their birthday. She seemed a little confused, and there were other guys her own age with her. They gave her all kinds of attention, and she was sucking it up, but she got mad when I met her friend, who was also 29, and hot as hell! We were really hitting it off, and she asked me my name. DING, DING! We exchanged numbers, and I started moving around the bar to throw some darts. Then the Indian chick comes over and starts asking what I’m doing talking to her at HER birthday party. I told her she was fun and attractive, so we intend to get together later for some bedroom Olympics. The Indian chick said she was leaving, and stormed out of the bar leaving her phone and cash behind. I told her to be careful driving home and to have a nice night. Yup, you guessed it! One of the other guys took her stuff to her, and she was back on the stool next to me within a half hour, doing her best to get my attention. (They were platonic friends for six years, but as soon as she saw him as indifferent and cool with hooking up with her girlfriend, she had a complete attitude adjustment. Now he’s acting like a man.) Then the other one got in the middle and started trying to get in on the conversation. Having two beautiful young women fight for attention is a pretty good feeling! (It’s your birth right.) Other guys my age are constantly blown away by the beautiful women I date, and I have you to thank for that because I would have never explored the possibilities of dating women so much younger than I am, and such beautiful women!

I have to agree that everything happens for a reason. I started following you over 2 years ago, and I learned so much about inner self, personal strength, and human emotion that without that training, I would most likely have been crushed when my son died this past May. (I discussed this in my article and video, “Dealing With Sudden Death.” He used what I had learned in Network Care and spiritual teachings about feeling things to heal them and being authentically present.) Thanks again Dude. You saved a life and I have been able to pass your teachings on and save others. You are the MAN! (This was a guy who thought he could never date a beautiful, younger woman.)

Bob

$100 Donation thank you note from viewer:

“Hello Corey. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experiences and providing the guidance and support that truly changes lives. May God bless you and your family always. Have a great day and thanks again!”

Thank you note from viewer:

Hi Corey,

Thank you for your book! It has helped me understand exactly why the fuck I got dumped! Couple hugging each other Initially, I had hoped to get my ex back! Now I understand what went wrong and realize that was one hell of a pipe dream! I’m like most guys – once I know where I fucked up, I can let go because I know what to do next time! So thanks again, and yes, I will continue to read your book 10-15 times! (Like the great Aristotle said, “Excellence is not a singular act, it’s a habit. You are what you do repeatedly.” You are the sum of all of your training. These are the things you need to know to reach your full potential.)

Cheers,

Bob

Gratitude note from mother of a teenage son:

“As a mom to a teen, I am SO glad I ran across your YouTube videos. Your advice is awesome and I have shared your site, with others! Keep up the great work!”

Gratitude note from viewer who saved his 20-year marriage:

“One Week after reading your book and watching your videos, my marriage of 20 years has come alive. Just knowing about the tests and passing a few of them has made a huge difference, and a huge difference for her with me. Young beautiful couple hugging and about to kiss She told me she was going to chase me, which is a big change, while she was away with her best girlfriend in another state. (I have a lot of couples who read my book, understand it and then are able hold each other accountable, because they understand how to communicate with each other.) I brought her home from the airport and got a cute delaying test. Arrgh! I told her that I’m her mountain and that I love her, but that this was too much and moved away. You can guess the rest. Because of you, I finally know about the tests and can pass them with love. (He has acted weak in the past, but when he changed how he showed up and what he was saying and doing, he re-created the attraction with his wife.) You have saved my marriage. I wish I had your book twenty years ago. It would have saved a ton of frustration. Every man who wants to be a real, loving alpha man should read your book. One Paypal donation is coming your way.”

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Corey Wayne
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“Loving something or someone makes you willing to suffer for it or them for extended periods of time. You should let other people sing your praises. Let your life’s work speak for itself and your actions speak louder than your words. The world is full of weak people who are too scared and too fearful to go for their dreams. When they see other people succeeding or potentially succeeding more than they are, they try to sabotage their success to keep the other person at their level, so they don’t feel uncomfortable or so bad about the fact that they are too weak to attempt reaching their full potential themselves. No one will ever do or say anything to you that is not a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in a moment. People project onto others what they don’t like about themselves. Don’t take it personally when you encounter a truly miserable human being. It’s not about you. It’s really about what’s on the inside of them. People attack what they fear, don’t understand or envy.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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Published on October 2, 2015

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. “Butt-Hurt and Offended” seems to demonstrate a disagreement that is not presented in a rational way as in fair debate, but in an irrational way like that of a three-year-old girl, spoiled, who is receiving a needed crackdown by fed-up parents. She seems to demand what neurotic and/or beta men sometimes offer her, and she is enraged that when men are emancipated from neurosis and become healthy in outlook they will no longer indulge her. Your delightful uninterest in her rage, though appropriate and amusing to us the men who read it, is far from original–in the theory of child care. She acts like a spoiled little girl; you treat her like one, she has a waah-fest. Predictable.

    Consider this theory, please. Men, if they (we) reach their (our) ultimate potential, are like samurai warriors: authoritative, generally looked up to, courteous, intolerant of taunts, and deadly if sufficiently angered. Such a man knows the limits of permitted behavior and, except in the playful behavior that you recommend with a woman (or with a loved child), will not test it unless he disrespects the person or persons that seem to impose those limits. Meanwhile, a woman is emotion-driven and is limited in her behavior only by what feels right or feels wrong. If fully developed as a woman, she seeks a situation in which if her emotions run away with her and she is about to do something irrational and destructive, she will be stopped, as by a benevolently controlling man. It is in her nature to test limits, not out of rebellious intent, but simply because those limits are accidentally reached from time to time due to runaway emotions and how they manifest themselves. If she is forced to take responsibility for the consequences of her emotions and how she expresses them, then her emotional self will acquire a component of self-restraint that in a healthy man-woman loving relationship will simply not need to exist. She can’t be fully female if that self-restraint is present. Am I on the right track here?

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