Women Work Harder To Win You Over If They Think You Have Other Women

Why women work harder to win you over if they think you have other women.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who got ghosted by a woman after three months of dating who had just broken up with her ex. She came back months later and now she’s kind of obsessive towards him and showing up at his place unannounced which makes it hard to see the other two women in his rotation.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

As the late great Doc Love used to say: “When kitty cats compete, you win.” I wrote about that in 3% Man and it’s amazing how it just like flips a switch if a woman thinks that you got or she’s got competition and potentially the other woman you’re dating are hotter and better than her.

So this particular email is from a viewer who got ghosted by a woman after three months of dating who had just broken up with her ex. Then she came back months later, and now she’s kind of obsessive towards him and showing up at his place unannounced, which makes it hard to see the other two women in his rotation. So it sounds like he’s got a good problem. He’s got three women. What do I always say? One is no choice. Two is a dilemma. Three is a proper choice, but it can be tiring. One of the things that he did differently is they used to raw-dog it, but since she came back, now he’s wearing a condom and now she thinks, “Oh, he’s fucking other women. He doesn’t want a raw dog-it with me.” So she doesn’t feel like she’s special and number one.

So he shares a quote from Brian Koslow:

“During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.” – Brian Koslow

In other words, in a negotiation, the person that cares the least has the most leverage.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

Hope this email finds you in good health, I have been dating a woman for three months from the first date to every date ended up in a good session of doing the mattress mambo. This woman is hot as hell she is five inches taller than me. Banging her felt like a chihuahua fucking a Great Dane…

By the way, this email has zero fucking punctuation. It’s one giant run-on sentence. I’m sure Erica is not going to be really happy about fixing this when she’s doing the video newsletter. You’re welcome, babe.

…But those extra inches made her moan, LOL. Long story short, after having sex with her on the first date, she was very compliant on making dates. She did 100% of the pursuing. The last time I saw her, I was feeling a little bit off with this woman because using 3% Man for years, I know usually rebound girls or rotation girls are usually like this and, no sir, I didn’t act dopey (You replied to one my emails last year and posted a video, How To Recover Attraction After Over Pursuing & Acting Dopey. Thank you for replying and criticizing it. Helped me improved my mistakes).

Well, that’s why I do it, because masculine energy grows through challenge. When I roast you and I use some energy that makes you feel a little negative towards the unattractive behaviors and positive towards attractive behaviors, whether you realize it or not, it helps you rewire your brain, because we do more to avoid pain than we do to gain pleasure. If I can switch the way you look at things by associating pain with undesirable, unattractive behavior with the roasting and then pleasure and good things with the positive outcomes, if you do the right things, then you’ll naturally move away from what’s potentially painful and move towards what’s potentially pleasurable and positive. So there’s a method to my madness.

I tried opening her up a little bit more because I felt she was hiding something. She told me she came out of relationship three months before she started seeing me. She told me her ex was seeing other woman while living with her and she was OK with it until he went and proposed to another girl.

Uh, oh. Well, it sounds like they had an open relationship. In other words, he was monkey-branching.

So they ended the relationship mutually. I didn’t tried to fix her or anything, just playfully told her, “Hey, I guess you leveled up honey.”

Oh wait, there’s a comma. Shocking! We got one comma there.

After discovering her internals one more time, she went home. The next day she didn’t text me and the following day she messaged about how sorry she is telling me she has trauma and needs to fix herself and that’s what making her the way she is. I just replied with, “OK.” I texted her the next day and poof! She disappears like my motivation on Monday.

This guy’s kind of funny, actually. The thing about that Great Dane, I had never heard that before. A Chihuahua with a Great Dane.

After two months of being ghosted, she sends the classic “Heyyy” and I am following 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. She came over, we cooked dinner. While having sex with her, she saw me wearing a condom (Used to do her raw) and asked me if I am seeing someone else. I told her, “I don’t kiss and tell, but you know, you’re the most amazing woman ever.”

Oh, another comma! We got two commas in here. Ah, I see a little period. OK, so we got two commas and a period in the whole thing.

In my mind, I can’t trust her where the Great Wall of vagina has been for the past two months. We did use the condom that night. She was making every attempt to take it off since that day she has been constantly texting and bombarding me with calls about my whereabouts.

Well, that’s the power of no-contact. It’s like she didn’t hear from you. Then she reaches back out. Now you won’t raw-dog it with her anymore. She’s like, “Oh, let me get this thing off. I want to be your number one.”

It’s getting so bad that sometimes when I am coming home, I literally see her outside my house if I don’t answer. I am actively dating two other woman and she making it nearly impossible to see them. I am currently in my third week of 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back (My third date of letting her come to my place is this week). My question is, did I do something wrong? How would you handle the situation? Or am I being clueless about something?

Well again, you’re using a condom, which you didn’t before. You were just raw-dogging it and now you’re just acting or treating her like she’s a rotation girl.

So if you always raw-dogged it before, but now you want to wear a condom, she thinks, “Oh, he must be raw-dogging it with somebody else.” It’s the way women are. It’s just like on social media. If you’re in a group picture and there’s pretty girls around, she assumes there’s a good chance you either are sleeping with all of them or have slept with all of them in the past. Women seeing you with other beautiful women or talking to other beautiful women, especially guys that have applied what I teach in the article that I wrote many years ago, I think it’s like 15 years now, How To Get Women To Approach You First.

If women see you talking to other women, even if they’re average and the women just keep coming by one group after another, the hot women are in the corner and their tables see this, they’re going to think you’re really popular with women, and they’re going to want to come over and see what all the commotion is about and what all the fuss is about. So even if just mediocre average women are coming up to you at first, if there’s just a steady stream and it seems like every girl that comes into place. It’s like, “Oh, that guy’s safe. Hey, look at all the women that are talking to him. I’m better looking than they are. That girl is just not even attractive. I’m so much hotter than her. I have a better body.” Then they got to come over and see what you’re all about. This is right out of the book.

Your guidance on this matter would be helpful and much appreciated. Also looking to see what other members have to say. 

THANK YOU, GRANDMASTER!

Bob

Well, maybe you guys in the comments, other members can post some of your experiences with what happens when you’ve been seen with other women, women have heard about you with other women, or think you have other women, and how it’s flipped the script for them and absolutely changed their mind towards you.

So this is a good thing, but you might have to think about operational security. Maybe the other two women that you’re seeing, maybe you should be going to their place. I don’t know if you live in a condo, a house or whatever. I mean, if you got a house and there’s different cars in your driveway when she drives by, that’ll just probably make her become even more obsessed. Just remember her last relationship. She was living with a dude who was openly hooking up with other women. Then when he found somebody he wanted to be with, he’s like, “Bye bye,” and she was cool with it. So operational security, it’s none of her fucking business. Gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. That’s the best way to be. Just let them wonder. They’ll fill in the blanks themselves.

Again, if you notice the big takeaway here that you maybe haven’t paid attention to is her attitude is different. She’s working much harder to get your attention because you’re a challenge. She has to work for you. In other words, women like you more if they think that they’re way more into you than you are into them. That’s why she’s trying to yank the condom off. She’s like, “Let me give you the full love tunnel experience. This condom is just getting in the way.” I wouldn’t suggest raw-dogging it, but it’s your life. You do what you want. Just understand each time you’re rolling the dice.

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