Are you a man who would like to become more successful at getting the women who you like and who like you into bed? Would you simply like to score more?
From a biological perspective, a man’s job in the mating dance is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. The fact that you and I are here is a testament to the fact that our ancestors were successful in finding someone to mate with so their genes could be passed on to future generations. Two people come together, have sexual attraction for one another and mate. Women’s sleep with dominant males because dominant males have strong genes that will produce strong offspring that will be strong enough to grow up and mate themselves, thereby perpetuating their genes into future generations.
This is why women will fool around and sleep with the “bad boys” after only knowing them for a few hours. They’ll have great sexual experiences with these guys, but very rarely will they date men like this in long-term relationships. The cool thing is, you can trigger that same sexual attraction that “bad boys” do without being a “bad boy” yourself.
Many women will choose lesser dominant men, but men who are loyal and will be good providers to raise a family with. Men and women are biologically programmed to seek out and produce offspring with the best genes, and therefore the best chances of survival.
The biggest mistake guys make is they talk women who like them right out of sleeping with them. Why does this happen? When I was younger and did not know what I was doing, I was always focused on and worried about what I was going to say, instead of just going with the flow and getting to know a woman. Women want to be in a love story.
When you are around a woman and you start focusing on what to say or what you should say to her, it’s awkward. This also makes her feel awkward and uncomfortable around you. Women want to be around a guy who makes them feel comfortable and at ease. Someone who is easy to talk to. Think about it. If you just met a girl who you really like, wouldn’t you be fascinated with her and want to know everything about her? You would simply ask her questions about herself.
As she is telling you about herself and chatting away, you will say things like “Wow! Really? That’s amazing! Tell me more. Don’t leave anything out. What you mean? Etc.” these kinds of statements would communicate that you are sincerely interested in her and fascinated by what she is sharing with you. This communicates to her that you like and accept her the way she is. This makes her feel comfortable, like she can trust you and if she finds you physically attractive (51% interest level or higher) this will cause her to feel more and more sexual attraction for you.
As she feels more and more comfortable, she loses her inhibitions and her body language will communicate her approval and attraction to you. How? She’ll lean over and touch your arm, she may stand too close, she may bump into you as you’re walking, start asking you personal questions about yourself, talk about the two of you doing things together in the future, etc.
If she appears to be dropping hints that she likes you but you are unsure, then simply ask her when she says something that you think means she likes you with… “What you mean?” If she comes right out and says that she likes you after you have been talking for a while when you ask her “what do you mean?”, then the next statement you should make to her is… “I think you need to get it over with and come over here and kiss me!”
Don’t worry about where it is going, if it’s a relationship, if she’s going to be your girlfriend, if it will last, etc. Just focus on having fun with her, asking her questions and getting her to talk about and explain the things she says. When you feel the time is right, make your move and go for the kiss.
The following is an e-mail I got from a coaching client. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
I have run into a situation that’s a bit unique to me. I met this girl Friday who is a friend of my friend’s girlfriend. We hit it off pretty good. Before the night was over, I got her number and dipped out with my other buddy to a few other bars. The next night I was out with some people at a club. My friend, Ray whose girlfriend knows this girl, asked me what I was doing. I let him know I was at this club, so he came and brought his girlfriend. Unknown to myself, her friend was looking to catch me out (when women like a guy, they try to “catch” him) and she was with them. I was pretty tanked as it was as my goal that night was just to have fun (smart guy-following my strategies and therefore you get the results), so when she got there, we ended up dancing and making out for quite some time (of course-when you do things right with a woman, she will seduce you). That night ended in some drama with other parts of my group so we abruptly parted ways that night. Now my friend Ray wants to know if I want to go camping with him and some other people next weekend. This girl is going to be there too, so I do not know if it is a wise move to go (go because your friend invited you and you want to go. If the girl is there… its a BONUS. The key it to be natural and be yourself and do what YOU want to do). I feel as if I do, I would probably be hooking up with her but would lead into something more that might not be wanted so soon (review this… how to keep a relationship casual when she wants to be serious).
Any advice would be awesome?
Here’s his email update after the camping trip weekend:
Thought I’d give you a weekend update. The weekend went good, could have gone better. Friday, she was very receptive to me, and we ended up cuddling up at the end of the night, unfortunately without any bedroom olympics due to nearby sleepers. Saturday, she seemed to be hesitant with me. I found out that she recently came from a serious relationship which was not ended by her. It took me a lot of skillful talking to pull that back to myself. By the end of the night, she was with me in bed again. This time things went a little further, but she held me at third. On Sunday, I played a little more aloof in the morning. By the car ride home, she was caressing me and looking to hold my hand. I gave her that bit and returned a little in kind. When we got to my friend’s place where our cars were parked, everyone left but us two, so we made out for a while. I left her very confused. One of her exact phrases was, “You’re a mystery (good job!). I do not know what to think of you. (women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear)” I feel confident that I did well. I will probably call her in a couple days for some dinner plans (good job going with the flow).
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when… she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”-Bob Marley