When you are in a relationship with a woman, you should always look at what she does and not so much what she says. Since women are emotional beings, their level of interest and comfort with a man is constantly in flux.
A guy who does a good job of always making his woman feel comfortable and safe is going to have a pretty happy woman. A guy who does not understand women very well or who does not understand how to read her true level of interest in him is going to feel uncomfortable and unsure of himself in the relationship.
If you are unsure of yourself and where you stand with your woman, she is going to feel this also. This will cause her to feel unsafe and unsure about her feelings towards you and your potential future together. If you are successful at making a woman feel comfortable and safe, there will not be a lot of times where she is doubtful of your future together.
The more comfortable a woman feels with you, the less she will test you. The more she senses weakness and doubts your masculine core, the more she will test you. When a woman senses weakness in her man, she will back away and test.
It is absolutely essential that you understand how to effectively communicate with women if you want to feel safe, secure and loved in your relationships.
The following is an e-mail I got from a reader. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
I’m currently in a long distance relationship and we have decided to move to Kansas City together in May of 2012. We are both excited and I’m on the verge of getting a job up there. She wants to wait until May, as she is in San Diego and doesn’t want to endure another Midwest winter just yet. I can’t blame her (If she is avoiding the winters, why would she actually move there in the first place?). We’ve told all of our friends and all her friends and family in KC are excited (the only thing that matters is… is she excited?). However, this morning we were talking and she told me one of her San Diego friends asked who was moving where and informed her that she’d be sad if she left. I asked her what she told her friend and she said she is not going to tell her because it isn’t the right time (this sounds odd. It also sounds like she may be having second thoughts. You need to get to the bottom of this ASAP. Otherwise you may end up being the only one who moves). This kind of… upset me (obviously. You are about to get a new job there and she is not telling everyone she is moving there). If we’ve told all our friends, why can’t she tell her San Diego friend? (maybe she is not so sure she wants to move there) She said it’s a long way away so she isn’t gong to say anything for awhile (translation… deep down I am not sure that moving there, or moving there with you is what I really want). I’m just worried she’s going to back out of the move? (you should be) Any advice? (Book a phone coaching session with me by clicking here so I can help you get to the bottom of this. Also read my book if you have not read it, or re-read it if you have. She’s got you in the dark about where you stand with her. You sense something is up. This tells me you don’t know the material in my book very well and are making unnecessary mistakes).
“A single conversation across the table with a wise man is worth a month’s study of books.”-Chinese Proverbs