In order to find true love, happiness and fulfillment, you must become the type of person you want to attract. Like attracts like. We tend to like things in other people that we like about ourselves. We tend to dislike things in other people that we dislike about ourselves. If you want to be in a relationship with someone who is a great communicator, then seek to become a great communicator yourself. If you want a woman who is in great shape and who has a great body, you must become a man who is in great shape and who has a great body.
Most men who are unsuccessful with women, bullshit themselves into not becoming better men. They say that once they find a good woman and fall in love, that then they’ll have a reason to go to the gym and take care of themselves, change careers, start that business they’ve always wanted to, etc. The problem with this approach is, these men are assuming that once they get the ultimate woman, that their life will finally be perfect. It won’t. Any man who thinks that having the perfect girl will solve all of his problems, is deluding himself.
Long before I became a full-time life coach and author, I once believed that falling in love and being in love with the perfect woman who was in love with me also, would give me a perfect life. It did at first. However, after the newness of the relationship and initial infatuation wore off, I was still left with the fact that deep down I still wasn’t happy. I spent most of my early life believing that once I figured women out, all of my problems would be solved. Being in love and being loved are life-changing and life-altering events. If you are single and looking for the next great love of your life, or are looking for “the one”, but you’re not already extremely happy and fulfilled in your life right now, then you have some work to do on yourself.
Women are going to be the most sexually attracted to men who are confident, happy and excited about their lives. Whenever I start working with a new phone coaching client, I always make sure that they are doing something they love for a career or business. If they are not, then I help them discover their true purpose and hearts desire so they can get busy on the journey to transitioning into doing something they love full time. It may take them four or five years, or maybe even a decade before they can transition out of their current career or business and into working for themselves or in a career they love full time. Women like a man who is hungry and who is chasing his dreams. If he seems fearless in the pursuit of his dreams, it won’t matter to her if he still has many years to go before realizing his dreams. Why? Just the very fact that he has a vision for his life and he is working his ass off to make it a reality, makes her feel safe that she can trust his masculine core. That when the time comes, he will always handle things that need to be handled.
Nothing drives a woman up the wall more than a man who constantly falls down on her and does not do the things he promises. Simple things like promising to take out the garbage, cleaning out the garage, having that talk with the kids, getting himself in shape, etc. Women will become downright angry, bitchy and frustrated with men who constantly act weak and impotent. These men have given up on themselves and life. Therefore, they make little to no effort at all. These men also don’t do what it takes to keep a woman happy and in love with them. That is why women instinctively reject and lose attraction for men who are not excited about their lives. Sure, they know that these men will do what it takes to keep them happy for a short period of time, but these men’s lack of drive, focus and passion will always dominate the relationships eventually. Mediocrity is their standard. Girls just want to have fun… having fun and being mediocre don’t mix.
The more you grow as a man, the better you become. The more you get your own shit together, the sooner you’ll be able to attract the kind of women you really want. The same principle applies if you are a woman. Become the person you want to attract. When you feel amazing, you look amazing, you’re happy, you’re a great communicator, you’re fulfilled, you’re in great shape, you eat healthy, your career or business is booming, etc. you’ll attract like-minded women who have similar success in their own lives. Famous people tend to date other famous people. Why? They can relate to one another. High achievers tend to date other high achievers. The best thing a man can do to become more attractive to women is, to work on becoming the most successful man he can become. Just like Jim Rohn once said, “I’ll take care of me for you, and you take care of you for me.” Hmmmmmmm… that’s something to think about.
“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. And what I can do, I ought to do; what I ought to do, by the Grace of God, I WILL do.” ~Edward Everett Hale~