Lose The Relationship, Keep The Casual Sex

Oct 1, 2011 by Coach Corey Wayne
Yuri_Arcurs / iStock.com
Photo by iStock.com/ Yuri_Arcurs

The more a guy does the right things with women, the more sexual attraction and desire they are going to feel towards him. The more things a guy does wrong with women, the lower their interest level will go in him.

A woman’s interest level drops slowly over time. Since most men do not understand women, they do not see this happening and are usually shocked when they get dumped seemingly out of the blue. However, the signs are always there if you know what to look for. If you have been recently dumped by your girlfriend or wife, but yet she is still contacting you and wanting to hang out (but you want to do more than just “hang out” as friends, and instead want to be friends with benefits or maybe even get her to want you back again) and you miss the physical part of your relationship, you still have a chance to have casual sex when you do see her.

The main reasons why a woman breaks up with a man are as follows: 1) he was being needy, smothering and weak and does not understand how to just go with the flow and let her come and go as she pleases 2) she loves him, but he constantly hurts her emotionally because he does not understand or know how to communicate effectively and maturely with her or love and support her 3) she doesn’t feel safe and comfortable and therefore can’t be herself around him.

The biggest mistake that most men make with women is, they get way too serious too fast and start worrying about boyfriend/girlfriend, is it a relationship, where is it going, etc. Women just wanna have fun! When a guy starts worrying about labels or getting all serious, it interferes with her ability to let her hair down and just have a good time while S-L-O-W-L-Y falling in love. This causes her to perceive him as “trying to complicate things” instead of just having a good time with her and enjoying the moment. A man should always be focused on creating romantic opportunities for sex to happen. If you want to be considered her lover, then only do things with her that her lover would do. If you want to be considered her friend, then only do things with her that a friend would do.

Even if your woman has stated that she wants to put you back in the friend zone, you must stand up for yourself and tell her you are not interested in that. Tell her you are okay with not being exclusive anymore and that she is free to date whoever she likes and sleep with whoever she likes. However, if you and her are going to spend time around one another and “hang out”… you want to be able to touch her, kiss her, hold her, make love to her, etc. If she wants to keep that off the table for now, then just tell her to call or text you when it’s on the table. Tell her you are interested in just having fun together and letting things happen naturally, but you are not interested in being her male girlfriend. Say, “Call me when you change your mind” and then walk away and wait to hear from her. In the meantime, you should create as many new romantic opportunities for sex to happen with as many new charming goddesses who you can find.

The following is an e-mail I got from a reader. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:

Hi there,

So this summer I dated a girl. It was the best relationship I’ve ever had. It was totally mutual, and it just worked smoothly. We were in love. At some point she deemed that I was not on the same maturity level as her and we broke up (translation… you lowered her interest level in you because you did not know how to properly date, communicate with and understand women. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships. You will want to read it 10-15 times until you know the material so well you could give a seminar on the topic. That will give you the fundamentals of how to attract, date and maintain a healthy relationship with any woman who has a high level of interest in you to start out with).

We didn’t see each other for a week, but after that, she wants to hang out with me almost as much as we did when we were dating (make sure you don’t contact her unless you are responding to her phone call or text). It’s weird, and when I ask her about why she wants to see me so much, she just says “I like how we hang out(translation… “now that we are just friends, you aren’t smothering me anymore and I can see you when I want and when I want to be around you.” Love is playful and fun. Not serious. When she does contact you, take that as an opportunity to set a definite date and time to take her out someplace. Your job as the man is to create romantic opportunities for sex to happen. Never bring up the subject of getting back together or relationships. Why? Because unless she brings it up and tells you she wants to get back together, you should assume and act as if you are two hot lovers who are friends with benefits. No drama. No labels. Just having outrageous fun together. When you have been hanging out together, notice the signs of her wanting to be close to you and feeling attraction such as her touching your arm, bumping into you as you walk down the street, moving her chair closer to you, leaning in towards you as you are talking, etc. Then when she is close, look into her eyes. Then slowly look down at her lips, and then slowly back to her eyes, and then back to her lips again. If she looks at your lips while you are doing this, then slowly lean in to kiss her. When she looks at your lips it means she wants to kiss you. Once you are making out, then you can just keep escalating from there until it later ends up in the bedroom). But I know that something is up just by certain cues that I get from her about setting up times, and things to do when we hang out (by hanging back and waiting to hear from her you give her the opportunity to miss you and wonder what you are up to. By setting a definite date and then showing up for the date without constantly texting and talking to her before your date, it gives her the chance to wonder about you. This builds sexual tension and causes her to want you more. As one of my coaches used to say years ago… you gotta out-wait and out-wit women.).

I get a feeling that she still wants me, and I still want her, but I need her to tell me that (love is not serious. Love is playful. Stop worrying about relationship, but instead create romantic opportunities for sex to happen). What do you suppose I should do? (Sign up for a phone coaching session with me personally by clicking here).

Thanks,
Neil

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Published on October 1, 2011

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hi Corey,
    Listened to many of your videos, read the book once and played thru the audio two or three times. Love your information and I have screwed up plenty of times in the past. Well, I think I just did it again. I have been seeing a woman about once a week since July. She wants a relationship, but I kept it down to low key, open to date others. This was mainly because I work 2nd and 3rd shift hours, 5 days a week on a rotating schedule. To make matter worse, I am the custodial parent of two teens, one who has no visitation with his mother and the other is old enough to visit mom on his own accord. So that leaves me two nights a week for a relationship or social life, but since I am away from my kids when I work, I can really only see going out one night or after the youngest is going to bed, about 9 or 10pm.
    Well, she had someone else that was asking for a relationship and I think she really wanted me to commit. The other guy had been spending a lot of time with her ( which I don’t have) and helping her out ( which she never said she needed) I kept any jealousy in check and told her she had to make the best decision for what she was after. About a week after our last night out and sex, she told me she was going to pursue the relationship. Now I wish I had spelled out to her my reasons for no relationship was the lack of time I had available for what I felt the relationship needed.
    At this point, all I think I can do is offer to get together when she reaches out to me and be very scarce. This is all very fresh (2 days) and I fight the urge to call her and explain myself. We did see each other once a week and occasionally more for the past 5 months. Any thoughts?

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